Quotes
That '70s Show, season 7
Back to That '70s Show, season 7Quotes
Time Is On My Side [7.1]
Life is like a train. It's bearing down on you and guess what? it's gonna hit you. So you can either start running when it's far off in the distance or you can pull up a chair, crack open a beer and just watch it come.
Read the full quoteEric Time Is On My Side [7.1]
Jackie: Hey, Fez I think I have something in my eye.
Fez: Is it Donna's engagement ring?
Jackie: No. No, it's too big for that.
Hyde: Maybe we should get some doctor's masks. So we don't accidentally inhale Donna's ring.…
Read the full quoteTime Is On My Side [7.1]
Red: Steven? When are you moving out?
Hyde: Soon.
Red: How's your girlfriend?
Hyde: Shallow as hell.…
Read the full quoteTime Is On My Side [7.1]
Okay! I'm here to earn my dinner! What am I gonna do about Donna? ...We're hanging out! What am I gonna do about my job? ...I quit! What am I gonna do about my future? ...Nothing! When am I moving out? ...Make me!
Read the full quoteEric Let's Spend The Night Together [7.2]
Red: So, William? What kind of work do you do?
William Barnett: I own a chain of record stores.
Hyde: Record stores... That’s cool, huh? I was afraid you were gonna be a cop or something?
Barnett: I don’t like cops.…
Read the full quote(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction [7.3]
Eric: I can't believe Red bought the muffler shop. Alright, that's it. New Eric's out, Old Eric's back. I should probably just go upstairs and think about what I've done.
Donna: Oh, come on. You can't turn back now.…
Read the full quoteBeast of Burden [7.4]
Hyde: [to Red] I heard you fire a lot of people, and I’ve never heard you say, “I hope there’s another job out there for you.” You say, “I hope my foot doesn’t get stuck in your ass.” Or, “Don’t let my foot get stuck in…
Read the full quoteIt's Only Rock and Roll [7.5]
Fez, what happened? I haven't seen you look like this since you found out Candyland isn't a real country!
Read the full quoteDonna It's Only Rock and Roll [7.5]
W.B.: So, Steven, how was your first day?
Hyde: Well, I'm kinda glad there isn't a window in here... because I woulda jumped out of it.
W.B.: [laughing] Ah, you kids and your suicide jokes!
Read the full quoteMother's Little Helper [7.7]
Red: Kitty, we don't need The Joy Of Sex.
Kitty: Well, why not? It's not dirty. This book...it doesn't even have photographs, just sketches.
Red: But they're so detailed. They draw in every single part. And it's not to…
Read the full quoteMother's Little Helper [7.7]
Kelso: I'm sorry. Look, I've been screwed by Darwinism... never needed to evolve listening skills 'cause my looks are so highly developed.
Donna: Um, that's not how evolution works.
Kelso: Yeah, sure it is. Look, say I…
Read the full quoteMother's Little Helper [7.7]
Kelso: How could I lose a girl to you? You don't even speak English!
Fez: Well, Kelso, look at the bright side. Danielle is a wonderful girl who likes me better than you.
Kelso: Why is that the bright side?
Fez: Because…
Read the full quoteAngie [7.8]
Hyde: Angie totally set me up, man. I should've seen this coming when I found out she was a math major. Those girls are always bitches!
Kelso: You know what your problem is, Hyde? I'm too good looking.
Read the full quoteAngie [7.8]
Eric: Hey, guys. Just to jump off topic here for a sec… When you’re dancing to… say, like, Donna Summer, do you ever wish you were on wheels?
Hyde: Forman, so many parts of what you just said make me want to kick your…
Read the full quoteYou Can't Always Get What You Want [7.9]
Hyde: I love hittin’ it.
Jackie: I love that you taught me to love hittin’ it. You know, this is the first time we’ve hit it at... Hey. This place doesn’t have a name yet!
Donna: We should call it, “Hot Wax Records”...…
Read the full quoteYou Can't Always Get What You Want [7.9]
Hyde: Okay, here’s the situation. Thanksgiving Night, everything’s closed. We need to find a hundred record bins by midnight. It’s the same damn thing every year.
Jackie: Wait, I have a question. …How does hair know to…
Read the full quoteSurprise, Surprise [7.10]
Eric: Hey, Hyde, remember how you kept bringing it up, when Kelso nailed my sister. I never understood why, but now I get it. It’s fun! So guess what? Kelso nailed your sister! Oh, and another thing... Kelso nailed your…
Read the full quoteSurprise, Surprise [7.10]
Kitty: Steven, I can’t believe you thought I’d like these Sex Pistols. [returns copy of Never Mind the Bollocks LP to Hyde]
Hyde: I’m sorry Mrs. Forman, [sighs] I’ll make it up to you. Have you ever heard of a band…
Read the full quoteSurprise, Surprise [7.10]
Hey, Hyde, how's it going with the store and Kelso nailing your sister?
Read the full quoteEric Winter [7.11]
Hyde: This is one messed-up Christmas, man. You guys are all starting to look like elves.
Kelso: [laughing while taking off elf ears and hat] That must’ve freaked you out! [laughs again]
Eric: [watches Donna play with a…
Read the full quoteDon't Lie To Me [7.12]
Hyde: Jackie, what the hell where you thinking?
Jackie: Look, Steven, I know it’s a crazy thing to do, its just ... I kno-I wanted to know what it was like to be planning a life and a wedding and everything, I mean…
Read the full quoteDon't Lie To Me [7.12]
Red: Kelso, it's six in the morning. Did someone glue you to the fridge?
Kelso: ...No.
Red: Kelso, did you glue yourself to the fridge?
Kelso: ...Yes.
Read the full quoteCan't You Hear Me Knocking [7.13]
Red: I'm spending the day ice fishing. [puts on hat]
Kitty: Well, I'll come with you. Grab a fishing stick for me!
Red: [takes off hat] I don't wanna go.
Kitty: What? Why not?…
Read the full quoteCan't You Hear Me Knocking [7.13]
Kelso: The only thing that could ruin today is if the Russians set off that Russian death ray that’s pointed at the White House. No, seriously. I read about it in a magazine.
Eric: Kelso, that was “The Flash,” and it is…
Read the full quoteCan't You Hear Me Knocking [7.13]
Eric: Good job disposing of all the evidence you guys.
Kelso: You better take this serious, Eric. We have a lot of evidence to dispose of, even more than we had at the Pink Floyd concert.
Fez: Yeah, there is a lot.…
Read the full quoteCan't You Hear Me Knocking [7.13]
Hyde: Guys, we are making too many mistakes. We need to sit down, and figure this out!
Hyde: Okay, this is starting to feel like work, man. The feds have ruined the circle. The circle sucks. That's right, I said it.…
Read the full quoteStreet Fighting Man [7.14]
Red: Eric, how the hell can you wear a Bears jersey at a Packer game?
Donna: Okay, maybe he doesn't understand why it's wrong. Let me tell you in a way how you can understand. The Packers are like the Jedi, and you're…
Read the full quoteStreet Fighting Man [7.14]
Ooh! Eric's in a fight! No one's here! No one's gonna believe me! Why didn't I bring my camera?
Read the full quoteRed It's All Over Now [7.15]
Sizzling Sarah: Unlike some people I care about this radio station, plus I just love wearing a bikini, when I put one on I jiggle just like jelly!
Eric: Well she jiggles like two perfectly filled water-balloons, but I'm…
Read the full quoteIt's All Over Now [7.15]
I'm a gentleman and never use this kind of language, but Mr. Randall, you are one six-ing seven-ing monkey five-er! you think your one don't stink well three-off you three-ing three! [quoting George Carlin's Seven words…
Read the full quoteEric On With The Show [7.16]
Angie: It's like you guys have your own language- I don't even understand half the things you say.
Kelso: Hah–if you understand anything Fez says, you're the only one. Burn! [Fez and Kelso laugh]
Fez: Oh, Kelso can't…
Read the full quoteOn With The Show [7.16]
Red: Have you been in bed all day?
Eric: Yeah, I have. I've been reading the Jack Kerouac classic On The Road. See, as I see it, why get out of bed when you can read about people who got outta bed?
Red: You have got to…
Read the full quoteDown The Road Apiece [7.17]
Kelso: Okay, we’re gonna use my Police Academy training to figure out what happened here... first thing I’m gonna need is for everyone to lie face down with your hands behind your head.
Kitty: What if he stopped to take…
Read the full quoteDown The Road Apiece [7.17]
Eric: I can’t believe I’m stuck in a backwoods truck stop with no money. You know if we don’t do something, this waitress is just gonna hand us over to these truckers. You know, they’re all freaky, sexual deviants. Man…
Read the full quoteOh, Baby (We Got a Good Thing Goin') [7.18]
Kitty: OH, MY GOD!
Red: There goes the fun.
Kitty: Well, I hope you’re happy, Red Forman, because we are leaving! [to Hyde and Jackie] You two, get your A-S-Ses back to the car! [to the girls in bikinis] You two, get…
Read the full quoteOh, Baby (We Got a Good Thing Goin') [7.18]
Kelso: Don't touch that! It's breast milk!
Fez: Breast milk... from real breasts? [looks at Donna's chest] What don't they do?
Read the full quoteGimme Shelter [7.20]
Eric: Poor Donna. I think I hurt her pretty bad. Her neck’s stuck, just tilted over like this. But on the upside, it looks like she’s really interested in everything I have to say.
Fez: So, she’s got a bad neck. Quit…
Read the full quote2120 So. Michigan Ave [7.21]
Eric: Dad, passing P.E. is all that’s standing between me and the rest of my life.
Red: You’re lucky this table is standing between my foot and your ass!
Read the full quote2000 Light Years From Home [7.22]
Eric: Okay, there's this program, where you teach impoverished children for a year, and they pay for your college! I signed up!
Donna: Eric that’s perfect!
Kitty: That’s wonderful!
Red: See, I knew spending your college…
Read the full quote2000 Light Years From Home [7.22]
William Barnett: Steven, I’m moving Angie to Milwaukee to get her away from the customers. I love my little girl but you’re the one who should be running that store, so [pats Hyde on shoulder] it's yours. [returns to…
Read the full quoteTake It Or Leave It [7.23]
Kelso: There’s nothing like drinking beer straight from the tap! [burps] This must be why babies love breast-feeding!
Hyde: That reminds me of an ancient Chinese proverb. It goes… something, something, something, crazy…
Read the full quoteShort And Curlies [7.24]
Eric: So I gotta go over to Donna's and get my going-away present. Man, she is, like, the world's worst gift giver. Remember that ugly sweater vest and that huge man ring? Now, I gotta go get excited about some other…
Read the full quoteShort And Curlies [7.24]
Hyde: I thought you left town.
Jackie: Why? Because you're so amazing and incredible that I simply couldn't exist in the same town as you knowing you couldn't make a commitment?
Hyde: No, because you wrote me a note…
Read the full quoteTil the Next Goodbye [7.25]
Eric: Hello?
Jackie: Hey, Eric? It's Jackie.
Eric: Uh-huh.
Jackie: Look, I just realized you're about to leave for Africa, and I won't get a chance to say good-bye in person. That makes me sad. I mean, you've always been…
Read the full quoteTil the Next Goodbye [7.25]
Eric: Crap, it's almost time for me to go get my shots. God, why do I have to get shots anyway? So I get yellow fever. I could use a little color.
Fez: You guys, this might be our last circle together. We're growing up.…
Read the full quoteTil the Next Goodbye [7.25]
Red: I can't believe that is what you idiots have been doing in my basement all these years! [Eric sees the wall moving behind them] I wish I had 2,000 feet, so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!
Kitty: I'm…
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