The Office, season 2

A lot of the people here don’t get trophies very often, like Meredith or Kevin, I mean who’s going to give Kevin an award, Dunkin’ Donuts? Plus, bonus, it’s really really funny. So I, you know, an employee will go home, and he’ll tell his neighbor, “Hey, did you get an award?” And the neighbor will say, “No man. I mean I slave all day and nobody notices me.” Next thing you know, employee smells something terrible coming from the neighbor’s house. Neighbor’s hanged himself, due to lack of recognition.

The Office (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.

The Office (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

Michael: Attention everyone, hello! Yes, I just want you to know that this is not my decision but from here on out, we can no longer be friends. And when we talk about things here, we must only discuss work associated things. And uh, you can consider this my retirement from comedy. And in the future if I want to say something funny, or witty, or do an impression I will no longer, ever, do any of those things. Jim: Does that include "That's what she said?" Michael: Mmm hmm, yes. Jim: Wow. That is really hard. ...You really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so... Michael: That's what she said!

The Office (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's not really a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.

The Office (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

Actually, I do own property. My grandfather left me a 60-acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin Mose. We sell beets to the local stores and restaurants. It’s a nice little farm... sometimes teenagers use it for sex.

The Office (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

I have been Michael’s number two guy for about 5 years, and we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart and I’m like... Mozart's friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like... Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you’re gonna get a bullet in the head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

The Office (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0