Seinfeld, season 2

Kramer: [about his cantaloupe] Forty-nine cents a pound. That's practically half than what you're paying at the supermarket. I don't know why you don't go to Joe's. Jerry: It's too far. Kramer: It's three blocks further. You can use my shopping cart. Jerry: I'm not pulling a shopping cart. What am I suppose to wear? A kerchief? Put stockings on and roll 'em down below my knee? Kramer: See, the other thing is, if you don't like anything, he takes it right back. Jerry: I don't return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in.

Seinfeld (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

The waiting room. I hate when they make you wait in the room. 'Cause it says "Waiting Room." There's no chance of not waiting. 'Cause they call it the waiting room, they're gonna use it. They've got it. It's all set up for you to wait. And you sit there, you know, and you've got your little magazine. You pretend you're reading it, but you're really looking at the other people. You know, you're thinking about them. Things like, "I wonder what he's got. As soon as she goes, I'm getting her magazine." And then, they finally call you and it's a very exciting moment. They finally call you, and you stand up and you kinda look around at the other people in the room. "Well, I guess I've been chosen. I'll see you all later." You know, so you think you're going to see the doctor, but you're not, are you? No. You're going into the next waiting room – the littler waiting room. But if they are, you know, doing some sort of medical thing to you, you want to be in the smallest room that they have, I

Seinfeld (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

You know, I've been thinking. I cannot envision any circumstance in which I'll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How's it gonna happen? I just don't see how it could occur.

Seinfeld (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony. Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense...am I wrong?

Seinfeld (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

Jerry: This jacket has completely changed my life. When I leave the house in this, it's with a whole different confidence. Like tonight, I might've been a little nervous. But, inside this jacket, I am composed, grounded, secure that I can meet any social challenge. George: Can I say one thing to you? And I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality. Jerry: Absolutely. George: It's fabulous.

Seinfeld (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

I had a leather jacket that got ruined. Now, why does moisture ruin leather? I don't get this. Aren't cows outside most of the time? I don't understand it. When it's raining do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in, we're all wearing leather. Open the door! We're gonna ruin the whole outfit here!" "Is it suede?" "I am suede, the whole thing is suede, I can't have this cleaned. It's all I got!"

Seinfeld (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0