My Name Is Earl

[narrating] You know that guy you see, when you stop off at the convenience store in that little town on the way to Grandma's house? Sort of shifty looking fella who buys a packet of smokes, a couple-a lotto tickets and a "Tall Boy" at 10 AM in the morning? The kind of guy you wait to come out before you and your family go in? Well... that's me. My name is Earl. And if you took the time to really get to know me, find out what kind of person I really am instead of just stereotyping me, because of the way I look... well, you'd be wasting your time. 'Cause I'm exactly who you think I am. Hell, I'll pretty much steal anything that's not nailed down.

My Name Is Earl, CC BY-SA 4.0

Ain't no use running, fool! I know where your momma parks your house!

My Name Is Earl, CC BY-SA 4.0

I got a tattoo of Moses partin' the Red Sea on my bottom. Wanna see?

My Name Is Earl, CC BY-SA 4.0

Catalina: This is the sweetest, most justified kidnapping I've ever seen. Randy: How many have you seen? Catalina: About five or so.

My Name Is Earl, CC BY-SA 4.0

Randy: You sure you want to get Grandpa's cuckoo clock back? That thing nearly put my eye out. Earl: Well, you shouldn't have stood so close. You knew what time it was.

My Name Is Earl, CC BY-SA 4.0

Karma. You gotta love it!

My Name Is Earl, CC BY-SA 4.0