Everybody Hates Chris

Chris Rock: [narrating] 1982. That was the year I turned 13. Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager. I was gonna have women, money, stay out late-- I thought it was gonna be the bomb. Boy, was I wrong. Rochelle: CHRIS! Get in the bathroom and wipe the pee off the toilet seat! [under her breath] Disgusting!

Everybody Hates Chris, CC BY-SA 4.0

Julius: We get one combo meal. Drew gets the burger, Tonya gets the fries. Chris, you can have the drink. Chris Rock: [narrating] One time I just got ice.

Everybody Hates Chris, CC BY-SA 4.0

Chris Rock: [narrating] My dad always checked on us in between jobs: His night job, and his late-at-night job. Chris: Dad? Julius: Hey, man. I thought you were asleep. Chris: I'm sorry I ate the big piece of chicken. Julius: That was 89¢ worth of chicken. What, you didn't get enough to eat at school? Chris: I was still hungry. Julius: Now I'm still hungry. [sits on Chris' bed] Look. Next time, eat a little something extra at breakfast, okay? Chris: Okay. Julius: [pulls out cash] Here. [pulls cash from Chris before his can get it] Now, don't go pullin' this money out. Somebody'll try to rob you. [gives cash to Chris] Don't tell you mother about this. Everything okay at school? Chris Rock: [narrating] I didn't tell him about the fight. My dad went to school during the Civil Rights Era. After hoses, tanks, and a dog bites on your ass, somehow, Joey Caruso didn't compare. Chris: Yep, it was alright. Julius: Okay. I'll see you in the morning. Chris Rock: [narrating] My father wasn't the typ

Everybody Hates Chris, CC BY-SA 4.0

[narrating] I felt better than Billy Dee Williams after a case of malt liquor.

Everybody Hates Chris, CC BY-SA 4.0

Rochelle: If I ain't getting any sleep, you ain't getting any sleep. Chris Rock: [narrating] Now, that was mean. Taking sleep from my father was like taking ignorance from a rapper.

Everybody Hates Chris, CC BY-SA 4.0

[narrating] At that moment, I discovered one of life's greatest secrets -- black guy, plus basketball, equals white girl.

Everybody Hates Chris, CC BY-SA 4.0