Batman and Harley Quinn

Batman: This is Jason Woodrue, aka Floronic Man. Nightwing: Terrific. Poison Ivy is teaming up with Jason Woodrue. We're in for a ride.

Batman and Harley Quinn, CC BY-SA 4.0

Harley Quinn: [to Nightwing who she has strapped to her bed] Hey, Nightwing. Is it true you used to be Robin? Huh, ain't that a kick in the pants? Little boy wonder, all grown up... [thinks for a moment then smiles slyly] Nightwing: Okay, now, don't be getting any funny ideas? Harley Quinn: Too late! [turns off the lights] It's funny I always kinda thought you and Batman didn't like girls. Nightwing: Wait, what? Harley Quinn: You know, that book with the headlights and eyeball gouging? I had to write a paper about it back in college. Got a B minus. [climbs into bed with him while in her bra and panties] Nightwing: Look, Harley. I have a-- Harley Quinn: [interrupting him] Pretty lonely these last few months, if you know what I mean. You don't meet a lot of likely prospects at Super Babes. I'm kinda choosy. Nightwing: I'm not saying I don't want to, 'cuz that could be nice... all sorts of wrong, but nice. right now I just really need to find Poison-- [Harley Quinn cups her hand over his

Batman and Harley Quinn, CC BY-SA 4.0

Floronic Man: [the scene jumps from Harley Quinn kissing Nightwing to Poison Ivy kissing Dr. Goldblum] That's disgusting, it's an abomination! Poison Ivy: You think I like swapping spit with this geezer every six hours? If you got a better way to keep him under our control, I'm all ears Floronic Man: There's always torture. Poison Ivy: I don't torture. Floronic Man: There's 7 billion meat bags who infest this world would probably consider our plans for them torture, or at least cruel and inhumane. Poison Ivy: Our plans are for the improvement of every organism on Earth, the very definition of humane. Floronic Man: [scoffs] "Humane". What an ironic word coined by a species completely devoid of compassion for any other lifeforms, or each other, for that matter

Batman and Harley Quinn, CC BY-SA 4.0

Nightwing: [after Batman finds him in bed with Harley Quinn] I was, uh, I was just about to call you. Harley Quinn: [to Nightwing] Meet you at the car. [walks away happily humming to herself] Batman: Did you get what you needed? Nightwing: [smiles while rubbing his head nervously] Well, yeah... Ivy's whereabouts of course that's what you meant, no not yet. [Batman leaves giving him a disappointed look] Like you never made out with a super villain.

Batman and Harley Quinn, CC BY-SA 4.0

Batman: Pull a stupid stunt like that again, and I'm dumping you off at the nearest police station. Harley Quinn: Oh, big whoop. [imitates Batman] "You're living under my roof. You play by my rules," is that it?! [to Batman] Newsflash, gruesome: you ain't my Dad! Batman: This isn't a game, Quinn. I need you to stay focused on the job at hand. Harley Quinn: Focus, schmocus! You know, I'm starting to rethink this whole deal. Here I am, helping you guys out, pro bono, I might add, and you gotta go and get all mega control-freaky on me. [imitates Batman] "Do this. Don't do that! Sit up straight. Brush after every meal. Don't bite your toenails. Keep your knees together when you're wearing a dress." Batman: Quinn, there are LIVES at stake! Harley Quinn: Oh, my God! Yeah, yeah, the whole world's gonna plotz. I get it, I get it. You think I'm just some dizzy airhead that don't know jack. Do you know what I am?

Batman and Harley Quinn, CC BY-SA 4.0

Poison Ivy: [about people] They all talk about climate change, but have they actually changed anything? Floronic Man: Indeed they have. They've doubled their outcome of greenhouse gasses, increased the rate of deforestation, ravaged the planet. You said it yourself, Pamela, and I quote: "Humans simply will not give a crap unless we FORCE them to". Well, once our virus is activated, every single person on this planet will have a vested interest... in going green.

Batman and Harley Quinn, CC BY-SA 4.0