Quotes

Dialogue

Rabbi Nachtner: You know Lee Sussman. Larry Gopnik: Doctor Sussman? I think I - yeah. Rabbi Nachtner: Did he ever tell you about the goy's teeth? Larry Gopnik: No. Uh... what goy? Rabbi Nachtner: So... Lee is at work one day; you know he has the orthodontic practice there at Great Bear. He's making a plaster mold - it's for corrective bridge work - in the mouth of one of his patients, Russell Kraus. The mold dries and Lee is examining it one day before fabricating an appliance. He notices something unusual. There appears to be something engraved on the inside of the patient's lower incisors. He vav shin yud ayin nun yud. "Hwshy 'ny". "Help me, save me". This in a goy's mouth, Larry. He calls the goy back on the pretense of needing additional measurements for the appliance. "How are you? Noticed any other problems with your teeth?" No. There it is. "Hwshy 'ny". "Help me". Son of a gun. Sussman goes home. Can Sussman eat? Sussman can't eat. Can Sussman sleep? Sussman can't sleep. Sussman

Dialogue

Larry Gopnik: So, uh, what can I do for you? Clive Park: Uh, Dr. Gopnik, I believe the results of physics mid-term were unjust. Larry Gopnik: Uh-huh, how so? Clive Park: I received an unsatisfactory grade. In fact: F, the failing grade. Larry Gopnik: Uh, yes. You failed the mid-term. That's accurate. Clive Park: Yes, but this is not just. I was unaware to be examined on the mathematics. Larry Gopnik: Well, you can't do physics without mathematics, really, can you? Clive Park: If I receive failing grade I lose my scholarship, and feel shame. I understand the physics. I understand the dead cat. Larry Gopnik: You understand the dead cat? But... you... you can't really understand the physics without understanding the math. The math tells how it really works. That's the real thing; the stories I give you in class are just illustrative; they're like, fables, say, to help give you a picture. An imperfect model. I mean - even I don't understand the dead cat. The math is how it really works. Cl

Dialogue

Judith Gopnik: We shouldn't put the kids in the middle of this, Larry. Larry Gopnik: The kids aren't... Judith Gopnik: I'm saying "we." I'm not pointing fingers. Sy Ableman: No one is playing the "blame game," Larry. Larry Gopnik: I didn't say anyone was! Judith Gopnik: Well let's not play He said, She said, either. Larry Gopnik: I wasn't! I-... Sy Ableman: Aw right, well let's just step back, and defuse the situation, I find, sometimes, if I count to ten. [pause] One... two... three... fou... Or silently. [Long pause] Judith Gopnik: Really, to keep things on an even keel, especially now, leading up to Danny's bar mitzvah... Sy Ableman: A child's bar mitzvah, Larry! Judith Gopnik: Sy and I think it's best if you move out of the house. Larry Gopnik: Move out? Sy Ableman: It makes eminent sense. Judith Gopnik: Things can't continue as they... Larry Gopnik: Move out! Where would I go? Sy Ableman: Well, for instance, the Jolly Roger is quite livable. Not expensive, and the rooms are eminen

Dialogue

Arlen Finkle: We, uh, we decide on Wednesday, so if there's anything you want to submit in support of your tenure application, we should have it by then. That's all. Larry Gopnik: Submit. What. What do you... Arlen Finkle: Well. Anything. Published work. Anything else you've done outside of the institution. Any work that we might not be aware of. Larry Gopnik: I haven't done anything. Arlen Finkle: Uh-huh. Larry Gopnik: I haven't published. Arlen Finkle: Uh-huh. Larry Gopnik: Are you still getting those letters? Arlen Finkle: Uh-huh. Larry Gopnik: Those anonymous... Arlen Finkle: Yes, I know. Yes. Larry Gopnik: Okay. Okay. Wednesday. Arlen Finkle: Okay. Don't worry. Doing nothing is not bad. Ipso facto.

Dialogue

Clive's Father: Culture clash. Culture clash. Larry Gopnik: With all respect, Mr. Park, I don't think it's that. Clive's Father: Yes. Larry Gopnik: No. It would be a culture clash if it were the custom in your land to bribe people for grades. Clive's Father: Yes. Larry Gopnik: So... you're saying it is the custom? Clive's Father: No, this is a defamation. Grounds for lawsuit. Larry Gopnik: Let me get this straight: you're threatening to sue me for defaming your son? Clive's Father: Yes. Larry Gopnik: But it would... Mr. Brandt: Is this man bothering you? Larry Gopnik: Is he bothering me? No. I, uh... Larry Gopnik: See... if it were defamation there would have to be someone I was defaming him to, or I... all right, I... let's keep it simple. I could pretend the money never appeared. That's not defaming anyone. Clive's Father: Yes. And a passing grade. Larry Gopnik: Passing grade. Clive's Father: Yes. Larry Gopnik: Or... you'll sue me. Clive's Father: For taking money. Larry Gopnik: So h

Dialogue

Larry Gopnik: Well, you know, the way I look at it, it's an opportunity for me to really sit down and figure things out and look at the world afresh instead of just, you know, settling for the routine, tired old way of looking at things. Divorce Lawyer: Really? Larry Gopnik: I don't know. Maybe not.

Dialogue

Rabbi Scott: No, of course not. I am the junior rabbi. And it's true, the point-of-view of somebody who's older and perhaps had similar problems might be more valid. And you should see the senior rabbi as well, by all means. Or even Minda if you can get in, he's quite busy. But maybe - can I share something with you? Because I too have had the feeling of losing track of Hashem, which is the problem here. I too have forgotten how to see Him in the world. And when that happens you think, well, if I can't see Him, He isn't there any more, He's gone. But that's not the case. You just need to remember how to see Him. Am I right? Rabbi Scott: I mean, the parking lot here. Not much to see. It is a different angle on the same parking lot we saw from the Hebrew school window. But if you imagine yourself a visitor, somebody who isn't familiar with these... autos and such... somebody still with a capacity for wonder... Someone with a fresh... perspective. That's what it is, Larry. Larry Gopnik: U

Dialogue

Larry Gopnik: We had, I think, a good talk, the other day, but you left something... Clive Park: I didn't leave it. Larry Gopnik: Well, you don't even know what I was gonna say. Clive Park: I didn't leave anything. I'm not missing anything. I know where everything is. Larry Gopnik: Well... then, Clive, where did this come from? [raises his eyebrows] This is here, isn't it? Clive Park: Yes, sir. That is there. Larry Gopnik: This is not nothing; this is something. Clive Park: Yes. That is something. [a beat] What is it? Larry Gopnik: You know what it is! I believe. And you know I can't keep it, Clive. Clive Park: Yes sir. Larry Gopnik: I'll have to pass it on to Professor Finkle, along with my suspicions about where it came from. Actions have consequences. Clive Park: Yes sir. Often. Larry Gopnik: No, always! Actions always have consequences! In this office, actions have consequences! Clive Park: Yes sir. Larry Gopnik: Not just physics, morally. Clive Park: Yes. Larry Gopnik: And we both

Dialogue

Larry Gopnik: Please. I need help. I've already talked to the other rabbis. Please. It's not about Danny's bar mitzvah - my boy Danny, this coming Shabbos, very joyous event, that's all fine. It's, it's more about myself, I've... I've had quite a bit of tsuris lately. Marital problems, professional, you name it. This is not a frivolous request. This is a ser- I'm a ser- I'm, uh, I've tried to be a serious man, you know? Tried to do right, be a member of the community, raise the- Danny, Sarah, they both go to school, Hebrew school, a good breakfast... Well, Danny goes to Hebrew school, Sarah doesn't have time, she mostly... washes her hair. Apparently there are several steps involved, but you don't have to tell Marshak that. Just tell him I need help. Please? I need help. Marshak's Secretary: The rabbi is busy. Larry Gopnik: He didn't look busy! Marshak's Secretary: He's thinking.

Dialogue

Larry Gopnik: She seems to be asking an awful lot. But then, I don't know. Somebody has to pay for Sy's funeral. Rabbi Nachtner: Uh-huh. Larry Gopnik: His own estate is in probate, but why does it have to be me? Or is it wrong to complain? Judy says it is. But I'm so strapped for cash right now, carrying the mortgage, and paying for the Jolly Roger, and I wrecked the car, and Danny's Bar Mitzvah coming up, I... Rabbi Nachtner: Something like this... there's never a good time. Larry Gopnik: I don't know where it all leaves me, Sy's death. Obviously it's not gonna go back like it was. Rabbi Nachtner: Mm. Would you even want that, Larry? Larry Gopnik: No, I- well, yeah... sometimes... or... I don't know; I guess the honest answer is "I don't know". What was my life before? Not what I thought it was. What does it all mean? What is Hashem trying to tell me, making me pay for Sy Ableman's funeral? Rabbi Nachtner: Mm. Larry Gopnik: And did I tell you I had a car accident the same time Sy had

Dialogue

Friend at the Picnic: Sometimes these things just aren't meant to be. And it can take a while before you feel what was always there, for better or worse. Larry Gopnik: I never felt it! It was a bolt from the blue! What does that mean! Everything that I thought was one way turns out to be another. Friend at the Picnic: Then-it's an opportunity to learn how things really are. I'm sorry-I don't mean to sound glib. It's not always easy, deciphering what God is trying to tell you. Larry Gopnik: I'll say. Friend at the Picnic: But it's not something you have to figure out all by yourself. We're Jews, we have that well of tradition to draw on, to help us understand. When we're puzzled we have all the stories that have been handed down from people who had the same problems.