The Orville

Ed Mercer: It's not bad, right? Gordon Malloy: No, it's good. You paint some flames on the side, maybe like a rainbow unicorn, you got something.

The Orville, CC BY-SA 4.0

Mercer: All right, Lieutenant Commander Bortus, our second officer. You know, I've never met a single-gender species before. Your entire species is male, isn't it? Bortus: That is correct, sir. Mercer: So, there's probably not a lot of arguments about leaving the toilet seat up and that kind of thing, right? Bortus: [deadpan tone] No. Moclans urinate only once per year. Mercer: Really? That's... Me, I'm-I'm up two, three times a night. Bortus: [deadpan] That is unfortunate. Mercer: [chagrined] It is.

The Orville, CC BY-SA 4.0

John LaMarr: Figured I'd introduce myself since we're gonna be working full shifts together. Gordon: [in good humor] Translation: You want to make sure I'm not a jerk. LaMarr: Something like that. Gordon: [facetiously] Dude, I'm such a jerk, it's ridiculous. LaMarr: [also facetious] Okay, well, so am I, so this is gonna work out great.

The Orville, CC BY-SA 4.0

Mercer: [unimpressed] So, it's an anti-banana ray. Kelly Grayson: [also unimpressed] It's really interesting. Mercer: We need no longer fear the banana. Kelly: Does it work on all fruit? Mercer: What about salads?

The Orville, CC BY-SA 4.0

Door's jammed. Alara. You want to open this jar of pickles for me? (a line which will be a running gag throughout Season one) I loosened it for you.

The Orville, CC BY-SA 4.0

Bortus: [noticing the stuffed animal on Mercer's desk] What is that? Mercer: That is, uh, Kermit the Frog. Bortus: I do not recognize the species. Mercer: It's an amphibious life-form from Earth. Bortus: Is it someone you know? Mercer: No, no, he's just a leader I admire. Always keeps his cool in a crisis, inspires greatness in his people. He's... so what can I do for you?

The Orville, CC BY-SA 4.0