Quotes

Dialogue

Nick: Carl! Hey! Long time no see! Carl: Nick Lane? Hey! Nick: You don't still work at the bank, do you? Carl: Yeah. Kinda alone sitting outside here, eating my lunch, wearing the name tag. Nick: Huh, you must be running this place by now. Carl: I could have. I had a couple of offers. Didn't wanna get tied down. Nick: How's Stephanie? Carl: Good God! She... she's good! What have you been doing? Nick: Oh, I've been all over the map, man. I've lived! I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. I ate bat in Laos. Shot a cow with a bazooka... I'm not proud of that last one. But I did it, man! Carl: Wow, sounds wild! Nick: Wanna know my secret? (takes a pamphlet from his coat) I'm a "Yes!" man! The word "yes" has changed my life. Here. Carl: No thanks, I'm fine. Nick: Fine, I wet my ass with fine! Carl: Wow, OK. Nick: You don't wanna work here, Carl. (while stuffing the pamphlet inside Carl's jacket) Carl: Yeah I do. Nick: No you don't. (gets a rock out of his pocket and moves close to Carl) Why don't you

Dialogue

Carl: Did we make out? Oh right we did. Now I remember! Allison: What are you doing here? Carl: Is this crazy or what? Allison: It's so crazy. Are you stalking me? Carl: No, I would never do that. Oh by the way, your new furniture — looks great from the yard.

Dialogue

Peter: (angrily) You know what, buddy? You missed my engagement party tonight. Carl: Oh no. Oh shoot, you're kidding? That was tonight? Peter: Mm-hm. Carl: I'm so sorry, man, I totally gapped it! Listen, I'll make it up to you, I promise! I swear, you pick the day, any day you want, we'll go out, we'll swashbuckle! Peter: What does that even mean? Carl: I don't know. Peter: This wasn't just drinks at a bar, Carl! This was MY engagement party! You only get married once. Carl: (uncomfortably) Well, I certainly wouldn't do it again. (he's been divorced from his wife for three years.) Peter:: (annoyed) I know Carl, I know that Stephanie left you and you bitched because of it, but this isn't about you. This is about me! When's the last time you did anything fun? You're always making excuses, "I don't want to commit, I don't wanna get tied down!" I mean, do you even know my fiancee's last name? Carl: Yeah! It's Fisher, Fishman. Wait.. Fish-wall... Peter: Fishwall? You think her name is Lucy.

Dialogue

Allison: [preparing to shoot] So what do I do? I just - [discharges the shotgun, sending some turf flying and making everyone jump in fright] Instructor: [steppng in] Whoa, whoa, whoa. [raises the gun to her shoulder] Here you go. Allison: [Taking aim] Okay, uh, pull? [skeet is launched and she shoots it] I got it! I got it! Allison: [oblivious] Can I do it again? Can I do it again? What's wrong?

Dialogue

Allison: I dated this guy and I was astounded at how perfectly content he was just living his life in this closed-off little box. Carl: I know, its so frustrating! just want to grab these people and shake them. Say "Wake up you — you're missing out — on a little thing called Life!" Allison: That's so true.

Dialogue

Carl: [finding something in a catalogue] What's this? "Bridal Bingo?" How do you play "Bridal Bingo?" Supervisor: It's the same as regular bingo, but you just yell embarrassing facts about the bride. Carl: Yeah... Lucy: No, I'm not doing bridal bingo. Carl: Come on Lucy: No, I don't want anything complicated. Carl: [squeezing his fist] You gotta squeeze every drop of juice out of this experience. And it doesn't sound complicated. Is it complicated? Supervisor: [unhappily] Are you going to ask a lot more question? I don't got all day. [wanders somewhere, muttering sadly in Korean] Lucy: Maybe we should just go somewhere else. Carl: No, it's okay, I'll talk to her. Carl: [in Korean] Miss... Is there something wrong? Supervisor: [looking up in surprise and responding in Korean] Yes. There is something wrong. Here I am... Sitting here all day long, watching others getting engaged and married over and over again. It's just not fair! How about me? How about Soo-Mi? When will my time come? Ca

Dialogue

Jumper: Who you, man? Don't try anything, I'm going to kill myself so don't try to stop me. Carl: Uh, okay... Jumper: What you mean "okay"? Carl: No, I don't mean "okay" — I just — give me a second. Uh, I should say something to you here.... Um, don't really know what it is. Jumper: Man, you terrible at this, are you even a cop? Carl: Hold on a second — I'm thinking! Wait! I got it. Jumper: Where you going man? My man — hello? Carl: Don't do it! I'm coming — "patience is a virtue." Jumper: What the hell you doing in there? Carl: [playing guitar and singing "Jumper" by Third Eye Blind<nowiki>]</nowiki>: I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend. <br> You could cut ties with all the lies that youve been living in, <br> And if you would never want to see me again <br> I would understand <br> I would understand. ... [Forgets lyrics] um, what is it? Carl: Everyone I know has got a reason <br> To say... [crowd joins in] put the past away!

Dialogue

Allison: I've known that I like you for a while, but just now I decided that I love you. Do you love me? Carl: Definitely. I love you like — I can't believe it. It's kind of ridiculous.

Dialogue

Carl: I need you to remove the covenant. Terrence: There is no covenant! there never was; I was just riffing. Carl: Riffing? Terrence: Well, I had to say something — you were being difficult, embarrassing me in front of my crowd. Carl: So that little "Yes" thing is all bullshit? Terrence: No — you just don't know how to use it, that's all. Carl: Yeah I do — say "yes" to everything — real tough to grasp. Carl: Yah. You're right. That makes perfect sense.

Dialogue

Norman: [dressed like Leondias from 300] WE! ARE! SPARTA! Carl: Hi Norm...

Dialogue

Norman: Got tons of it at Costco. You see, I've got an exclusive membership card. And with that card, I get access to the whole place. I can buy large quantities of anything at discount prices. Allison: Can't anyone get one of those cards? Norman: No, don't think so. But I can talk to someone, if you'd like. Carl: Yeah, put in a good word for us. That would be great.

Dialogue

Carl: Even if I had met you, I would have never asked you out. You were the complete opposite of me. You did things and had friends and sang in rock bands and made life happen. You weren't scared of anything. Allison: You don't think I'm scared of anything? Who do you think I am? I'm scared of a lot of things. Carl: And I'm scared too. So let's be scared together. Allison: I don't know what you want me to say. Carl: So just say yes — but only if you really want to. And can you do it fairly soon? I'm starting to get a chill.

Dialogue

YES! Say it a million times. Say it a million more times. And the word you will have said two million times is...