Quotes

The Audition [2.07]

Hey, guys, since we're all about to die in a moment, I have to be honest about something, okay? I have been deceiving you guys and before we die, I have to come clean. I know you look at me and you see hard as nails criminal, stone-cold killer, Iceman. But, uh... This is lie. In fact, I have been lying about who I am my entire life. Real talk? I should not be manager of crime syndicate! I should be manager of hotel -- chain of hotels! Instead of being this conning man, playing the role of the ruthless gangster. I mean, that is not who I am, because the truth bomb of it is -- maybe not a lot of you, so be it. I'm nice. I'm polite. I'm optometrist by nature, you know? But because I did not have courage to stand up and be my true self, nice guy, and instead chose pants-on-fire existence, we are all on the barbecue bus. So, guys, I am really sorry for, uh, convincing you I was ruthless leader. I will regret it for the rest of my life. Probably two more minutes. So, in closing, hopefully th

forgiving jeff [3.01]

Barry: I thought you wanted to watch him suffer. Charles: I know, but, um... he's asked for my forgiveness. Y-- Y'know, he made some valid points! So, uh... I'm forgiving Jeff. Barry: ...you're forgiving Jeff. Jeff: I'm sorry I fucked your wife. Charles: He's sorry he fucked my wife! [He laughs.] Y'know, and she's no saint either! Okay? There's a whole history we don't need to get into! I- I... I think I just overreacted. Barry: There's no forgiving Jeff!

forgiving jeff [3.01]

Cristobal: I can't make anything happen until I rebuild. Your little boyfriend Barry killed all my buddies. You know this. Hank: Well, you know that he killed most of my buddies, too. Cristobal: I don't want to talk about Barry! When I do, I can't sleep. Plus... He killed all my buddies. Hank: We both had buddies killed. Cristobal: You have some buddies. I have no buddies.

forgiving jeff [3.01]

Barry. Forgiveness is something that has to be earned. And whatever shit you're going through? I can't be part of it. I'm embracing my life. It's like that line in Shawshank Redemption... "Get rich, or die trying."

forgiving jeff [3.01]

Barry: You look good! Gene: So do you. Barry: Downstairs looks like a lot of work. Gene: It is. Barry: Must be hard, uh, closing up this place. So, if you're not teaching anymore, are you gonna go back to performing, or...? Gene: My career is shit, Barry. You know that. Barry: Well, are you, uh... doing well otherwise? Gene: Remember that day in the woods? I've been thinking about that a lot. Remember the guy that took me into the woods? What was his name? Like the singer... Goulet. Kenneth Goulet. Barry: Yeah. Gene: After he popped the trunk... and I saw what I saw... He whispered into my ear. He said "Barry Berkman did this." I know you killed Janice. Gene: So, you have two choices: Come with me to the station, turn yourself in. Or fuckin' die.

forgiving jeff [3.01]

Gene: Look... I promise you, this is water under the bridge! Whatever you've done, I've forgot it! I've forgiven you! I forgive you! Barry: Forgiveness has to be earned... Gene: Then fuckin' earn it!

limonada [3.02]

Barry: [about Cousineau] If you actually felt that way, you do something about it, but you're not doing anything about it, so now I have to do something about it. I came here for your help and you're not giving it to me. Sally: Are you okay? Because you seem a little manic. Barry: I'm worried about him. Sally: So am I. Which is why I tried to get him on my show. We're saying the same thing. Barry: [slaps his face] WE ARE NOT SAYING THE SAME THING! WE ARE NOT SAYING THE SAME THING! IF I DON'T DO THIS, I DON'T LIVE! I HAVE TO DO THIS TO FUCKING LIVE! Sally: [starts laughing] Barry: Don't fucking laugh at me! My whole life! My whole...fucking life! Sally: Barry. Barry: I need you to do this for me now! NOW! Do it! DO IT! Sally: Okay, I see...you're very upset right now...look, I, I, I'm sorry...I tried...and I, I, I can't. Barry: Shit.

limonada [3.02]

Cousineau: So you're going to hold me hostage until you book me a part? That's not the way it works. We're talking about me here. That could take years. Look what I'm saying to you is that your plan sucks. Look, I swear on Janice's soul I will not say a word to anyone- Barry: It's either this or I kill you. Cousineau: You're one of the good guys Barry. You did a horrible thing. But I see your pain. It is the same pain you came to me with, fresh out of the army. A lost soul. No one to tell you your worth. I took you in. Not only did I teach you to be a good actor, I taught you to be a good human being. And this is how you repay me? By killing me? Barry: I love you, Mr. Cousineau.

limonada [3.02]

Barry: I told that casting director our story and he was so moved...that he gave us both parts. So you're going to enjoy everything that comes with being given a second chance...because if you don't...this one [gestures to Gene's grandson]...and that one [gestures to Leo]...go away. Do you understand? Barry: [emotionally] I love you, Mr. Cousineau. Do you love me? Barry: Can you say it? Gene: [contemptuously] I love you, Barry. Barry: ...can you say it again?

candy asses [3.07]

You know the sound of kids' footsteps early in the morning? I still hear it. I can hear him in his room on his computer. I'll talk to him from my office across the hall. [laughs] Full conversations. My wife says I'm... losing my mind. She, uhh, she thinks this city turned him into some devil. I... I never wanted to hurt anyone my whole life. Until we had Ryan. Oh, the love I had for that child. It terrified me. I mean... what would I do if something happened to him? [laughs] A-and then I-I found what you did and... I can't. I-I-I could leave you here, and you'll rot. But I can't. Why? [sighs] Why? I want to see my son again.

candy asses [3.07]

Sally: ...so you have your own show? Natalie: Yeah. Sally: Hm. What's it about? Natalie: I play a single mom, I have a cupcake store with my daughter in Central Park. Sally: What's it called? Natalie: "Just Desserts". Sally: So you stole my show. Natalie: No, it's actually a really important story to me, I-- Sally: It's not a story... It's a fucking math equation! Natalie: I'm actually feeling really uncomfortable right now... Sally: You have nothing to say about anything, you've never struggled a day in your whole fucking life! You've-- Nobody's ever put a hand around your fucking neck, this was my story! My story! You don't even have a fucking daughter! Natalie: Neither do you, Sally! Sally: You are nothing without me! You are NOTHING! Nobody-- Stupid piece of shit! I brought you into the fold, and this is how you fucking betray me?! Natalie: I moved your carrots for you! Sally: You entitled CUNT! YOU ENTITLED FUCKING CUNT! YOU ENTITLED FUCKING CUNT! You entitled fucking cunt!

candy asses [3.07]

You ever wonder why Chris, who never saw combat, was basically a computer geek, would even have PTSD? Oh, he loved Sharon and Theo, they were his whole world. Why would he take himself out, knowing something like that would fuck them up for life? Well, that, uh, switch you saw go off when Barry was "avenging" you? I harnessed that into a very lucrative job for him. One day, I sent Barry out on a mission, went sideways, and, well, Chris... He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Saw some shit he shouldn't have. Y'know, Barry still participates in those charity runs that Sharon does in Chris's memory? Barry's a good guy.

candy asses [3.07]

Sally: My show. Is me, Lindsay. And she stole my fucking show! Lindsay: If you had just let me deal with this, instead-- Why did you have to say something? Sally: Oh, fuck off! You don't care about me! You don't care about Joplin! You just care about your commission! "Oh! Oh, it's so important to have a-- a great relationship with BanShe!" You want the relationship with BanShe, not me. You work. For me! And I am fucking drowning! And instead of trying to help me, you're just trying to save yourself! This is honest, okay? This is the honest fucking truth. And if that makes me unhireable, then I am fucking unhireable, but at least I told the fucking truth! Lindsay: ...I have to drop you. Sally: ...Good. 'Cause I don't wanna work with liars.

wow [4.08]

I am nothing like you, Fuches. You are a weak, pathetic, manipulative little man.