Quotes

Others

Go back to your fancy cars, and your big bank accounts, and your celebrity friends, and your beautiful women, and Victoria Silvestedt, Playmate of the Year... FUCK!

Others

And joining us in the booth this evening, big fan of BASEketball, Tony Nocholino, who plays, as you know, Latino cut-up "Scooter" on the new hit comedy series "What's the Difference?" airing between "Recycled Junk" starring Lisa Campbell and "Same Old Crap" featuring teen heartthrob Mark Swenson, all part of the great fall lineup on our network's "Who gives a rat's ass?" Thursdays.

Others

Soon it was commonplace for entire teams to change cities in search of greater profits. The Minneapolis Lakers moved to Los Angeles where there are no lakes. The Oilers moved to Tennessee where there is no oil. The Jazz moved to Salt Lake City where they don't allow music. The Oakland Raiders moved to Los Angeles, and then back to Oakland. Nobody in L.A. seemed to notice.

Others

You're excited? Feel these nipples!

Dialogue

Joe Cooper: I'm not gonna do it, dude, end of story! Doug Remer: Dude! Joe Cooper: Dude! Doug Remer: Dude! Joe Cooper: Dude! Doug Remer: DUDE! Doug Remer: [Calmly] Dude. Joe Cooper: ...I guess you have a point.

Dialogue

Dan Patrick: With the first nine months of the Baseketball postseason out of the way, the playoff picture is starting to emerge. Kenny Mayne: So, with last night's victory over Boston, next week the Milwaukee Beers must beat Indianapolis in order to advance to Charlotte. That's in an effort to reduce their magic number to three. Dan Patrick: Right, and then the Beers can advance to the National Eastern Division North to play Tampa. Kenny Mayne: So, if the Beers beat Detroit and Denver beats Atlanta in the American Southwestern Division East Northern, then Milwaukee goes to the Denslow Cup, unless Baltimore can upset Buffalo and Charlotte ties Toronto, then Oakland would play LA and Pittsburgh in a blind choice round robin. And if no clear winner emerges from all of this, a two-man sack race will be held on consecutive Sundays until a champion can be crowned. Dan Patrick: Right,