Quotes

Dialogue

Oz's brother: Hey, Stifler, how come Steve's got all the talent in your family? Stifler: Bite me, fuck-face. Kevin's brother: Come on, man, you're missing it. Stifler: I've seen it a million times, you fucking ass-booger. Oz's brother: Matt, Stever is like a film making genius. A true American hero. Kevin's brother: The Tarantino of titties! Oz's brother: Yeah, there's just no way you come be this good. Stifler: Hey, look, I'm gonna prove to Steve that i'm up to the standards of the Stiffmeister Productions.

Dialogue

Brandon's friend 1: Are you a rookie? You look lost. Matt Stifler: Are you an asshole? You're hairy and you smell like shit! Brandon Vandecamp: I'll, uh... I'll ignore that kind of talk. Once. We don't speak that way here. Rookies are to wear their beanies at all times. Those are the rules. Matt Stiffler: And who made you the Mayor of Geektown? Brandon Vandecamp: I'm Brandon Vandecamp. Senior Drum Major of Beechwood Academy, and the President of the Tall Oaks Council. Matt Stifler: Oh? And who are they, Mr. President? The First Lady and Vice Pussy? Brandon Vandecamp: Suits you well. Matt Stifler: [Sarcastic] Golly jeepers, thanks. And hey! Since I'm an official band geek and all, can you guess what my favorite piece of music is? Brandon Vandecamp: I have no idea. Matt Stifler: The nutcracker. Matt Stifler: Look, I wanna know all the stuff that goes on at night here. Naked pillow fights, whatever! Ernie Kaplowitz: Do I look like the guy in charge of the naked pillow fights? Huh? This is