Bulletproof Monk

Master Monk: You must give up your name. Monk With No Name: I have already forgotten it, Master.

Bulletproof Monk, CC BY-SA 4.0

Master Monk: [Leaving temple door] It's time for me to do what I've always wanted to do ever since those pesky British showed up in 1904. Monk With No Name: What's that, Master? Master Monk: Take a vacation. [Gets shot by Waffen-SS]

Bulletproof Monk, CC BY-SA 4.0

Kar: [Walking down subway tunnel with Monk With No Name following after rescuing a little girl from getting run over by a train] You son of a bitch. You just lost my whole stash. Monk With No Name: Be happy. You helped save a human life. Kar: Yeah, well, last time I checked there's no reward for that. Tell me, how did you do that back there? Monk With No Name: Practice. Kar: [Scoffs] Who the hell are you, anyway? Monk With No Name: That's not the question you need to ask. You should be asking yourself who you are. Your mind is filled with compassion. That's why you risked your life to help the child. But your mind is also impure. So you forget the spiritual reward and think only of the financial. Well, if you're so pure, why were all those guys in suits chasing you? Monk With No Name: It doesn't concern you. Kar: Let me guess, FBI, CIA, INS. Monk With No Name: I said it doesn't concern you. Kar: Unbelievable. [Walks off] Monk With No Name: I'm sorry! [Kar stops, walks back with Monk Wi

Bulletproof Monk, CC BY-SA 4.0

Funktastic goon 1: [Punches Kar in the face] You're boosting in the wrong turf! Funktastic goon 2: [Grabbing and manhandling Kar] Get your punk ass over here! Finger man here calls himself Kar. He got caught ripping off marks at the Bishop Square subway station! Kar: [To Funktastic] I'm supposed to pay you for the right to rip people off? Funktastic goon 1: That's right. 60% off the top. This entitles you to squatter's right in Mr. Funktastic's cribs chow at his greasy spoons, and protection provided by Mr. Funktastic and his crew. Funktastic goon 1: And that's us. Kar: You know, it's really enticing. But if this is an example of a Funktastic crib, I'm gonna check myself into a Motel 6. [All Funktastic goons laugh] Funktastic: That's good. Pretty funny. [Punches Kar in abdomen] You'd be a corpse already, mate, if not for the fact I heard you're an exceptionally good earner. Maybe I heard wrong. In which case, you're nothing to me, mate. You're less than nothing. Around here, less than

Bulletproof Monk, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jade: [On top of Kar fighting him] What the hell are you looking at? Kar: You're just so damn beautiful, especially when you're angry.

Bulletproof Monk, CC BY-SA 4.0

Funktastic goons: Come on, man! Come on, Mr. F, take him! Get it? Got him. Yeah, where you going now, baby? He's kind of nice. Yeah, work it. Shit. You're over! Got no fancy shit now, huh? It is over. Jade: [On Funktastic's back with arms on his shoulders] Hey, come on. I'm bored with beating on this loser. Besides, fighting always gets me hot. Funktastic: Lucky for you, this little bit of crumpet's come begging for some of my funktastic love. Me or my people ever see you boosting in our territory again, mate, I'm gonna snip your Hampton clean off, mince it up and serve it as a shish kebab. Now piss off.

Bulletproof Monk, CC BY-SA 4.0