Quotes

Others

[to El Guapo] Could it be that once again you are angry for something else, and you are taking it out on me?

Others

Can I have your watch when you are dead?

Others

And then they called us scum sucking pigs...US!

Others

(ranting at the Amigos) It'll be a cold day in hell when Harry Flugelman lets an actor tell him what to do!

Dialogue

Carmen: I like the one who is not so smart. Other girl: Which one is that?

Dialogue

Jefe: We have many beautiful piñatas for your birthday celebration, each one filled with little surprises! El Guapo: How many piñatas? Jefe: Many piñatas, many! El Guapo: Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of piñatas? Jefe: A what? El Guapo: A plethora. Jefe: Oh yes, El Guapo. You have a plethora. El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora? Jefe: Why, El Guapo? El Guapo: Well, you just told me that I had a plethora, and I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora. Jefe: El Guapo, I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education, but could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?

Dialogue

El Guapo: Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you. Jefe: So when do you think Carmen will open up her flower to you? El Guapo: Tonight, or I will kill her!

Dialogue

Conchita: [El Guapo has kidnapped Carmen and taken her to his fortress] Carmen, today is El Guapo's birthday, and tonight you are to be El Guapo's woman. Carmen: I would sooner die. Conchita: Let me prepare you for the way El Guapo makes love. Tell me, Carmen, do you know what foreplay is? Carmen: [shakes her head, trembling slightly with fear] No... Conchita: Good! Neither does El Guapo.

Dialogue

Dusty Bottoms: Hey, Lucky, what are you gonna do with your share of the money? Lucky Day: [thinks] A car. A big, shiny silver car. I'll drive all over Hollywood. Show Flugleman a thing or two. What about you? Dusty Bottoms: New York. Maybe Paris. Champagne. Parties. I'll be a big shot for a while. Lucky Day: Yeah. Dusty Bottoms: How about you, Ned? Ned Nederlander: I'm gonna start a foundation to help homeless children. Dusty Bottoms: [he and Lucky realize how selfless that is compared to their ideas] That occurred to me to do that at one point, too. Lucky Day: Well, I meant that I would do that first, and then I would get a big shiny car.

Dialogue

El Guapo: What? Are gringos falling from the sky? Jefe: Yes, El Guapo.

Dialogue

Bartender: We don't have no beer, just tequila. Ned Nederlander: What's tequila? Bartender: ...It's like beer... Dusty Bottoms: Is it fattening? Bartender: ...Fat-ten-ing?

Dialogue

Lucky Day: Not so fast, El Guapo! Or I'll fill you so full of lead that you'll be using your dick for a pencil! El Guapo: What do you mean? Lucky Day: ...I don’t know. Jefe: I think he means that if you – El Guapo: SHUT UP!

Dialogue

Ned Nederlander: [whispers] Tell us we will die like dogs. El Guapo: You will die like dogs! Dusty Bottoms: No, we will not die like dogs, we will fight like lions!

Dialogue

Dusty Bottoms: Time for plan B. Plan A was to break into El Guapo's fortress. Carmen: And that you have done, now what? Dusty Bottoms: Well we really dont have a plan B. We didn't expect for the first plan to work. Sometimes you can overplan these things.

Dialogue

Lucky Day: I'll come back some day. Carmen: Why? Lucky Day: Well, I thought...[stumbles over his words]