Due South

Excuse me, can I have your attention please? Thank you. Anyone carrying illegal weapons, if you would place them on the bar. You are under arrest. You realize I'm going to have to confiscate that?

Due South, CC BY-SA 4.0

Lt. Walsh: One solid oak bar, sixteen tables, twelve chairs, one etched mirror, six by nine, one antique pool table, two doors, thirty-two bottles of liquor, and a Pabst Blue Ribbon neon clock. Does this seem like a fairly accurate list of the damages, Detective Vecchio? Ray Vecchio: I don't believe the pool table was an antique, sir. Lt. Walsh: Oh, well we'll never know now, will we? Because all that's left is this bag of felt. Ray: I sought refuge behind the item in question when the suspect pointed a shot gun in my direction and fired repeatedly, sir. Lt. Walsh: Suspect. I'm glad we finally got around to that because I would hate to think we were responsible for all this damage without a very good reason. You say you identified him by his nose? Ray: Yes, sir. Lt. Walsh: You didn't say something about his nose, causing him to fire repeatedly into the bar? Ray: Ah, no sir. Lt. Walsh: You just felt that his nose was so offensive that you decided to pursue and arrest him? Ray: Captain,

Due South, CC BY-SA 4.0

Ray Vecchio: Okay, okay. It was the mud right? You knew it came off his shoe because when you sniffed it, it smelled like...mud! I mean, what else does mud smell like? Benton Fraser: Perhaps it was something off the floor of the bar. Ray: Wood? No, no, no. Beer and maybe peanut shells. And when you tasted it - which, by the way, I can't believe you put that in your mouth - you tasted the salt from the peanut shells and knew that he had been here, right? Fraser: Wrong. I guessed. I had a hunch. Ray: No, no, no, no. You don't have hunches. I have hunches. Fraser: I had one of your hunches, Ray. Felt good. Ray: And what was it with the mud? You put mud in your mouth. Fraser: Ray, she was looking out the window and I simply made her believe I found something. Ray: You made her believe you were a mud-eater. I can't believe I'm sitting in the same car with you! Fraser: Where's this address? Ray: Why? What are you gonna do? Tell him to surrender or you're gonna eat something off the curb?

Due South, CC BY-SA 4.0

One-two-seven-hundred Franklin. One officer on the scene and tell 'em not to shoot the guy in the hat.

Due South, CC BY-SA 4.0

Ray Vecchio: So we got some fishing rods, a rifle last used by Chuck Conners, and a bag of rice. So what's your plan? Benton Fraser: We wait for them to come. Ray: Yeah? And? Fraser: Then we arrest them. Ray: You see that's such a simple plan that the American mind automatically tends to discount it, so let me run it back to you: We wait here. Gerard and God knows who else comes - sometime when? We're not sure. And then, when we least expect it, they shoot us dead with automatic weapons. Any part I left out? Fraser: Yes. I need Gerard alive to testify, so we can't kill him. Ray: Oh, I don't think we're in any danger of doing that.

Due South, CC BY-SA 4.0

Benton Fraser: When I graduated from the Academy my father gave me one piece of advice. He said, "Always..." No, he said, "Never..." Well, actually, he gave me two pieces of advice but I've forgotten the other one. But the important one is, "Never chase a man over a cliff." Ray Vecchio: That's supposed to mean something in Canadian, isn't it?

Due South, CC BY-SA 4.0