Quotes

Others

Skeeter: Now can I poke him? BBQ Barry: Oh, my back! Lunch Table Larry: Look out! Ranger: Here we go, off to the Rockies for you, Smokey.

Dialogue

RJ: [trying to get a bag of nacho cheese chips from the vending machine and it gets stuck, groans in annoyance, bangs on the vending machine] NO!!! [bangs on the vending machine again] COME ON!!! [goes through vending machine slot, tries grab it by hand, straining, but slips, & bangs on the window as he comes out, growls in annoyance as he grabs a T-Rex snapper out of his golf bag, trying to grab the bag of chips] Come on, baby. Grab it! [he struggles to get the bag of chips unstuck, but his t-rex snapper breaks, groans in annoyance as he gets out of the slot, throws the t-rex snapper away as he digs in his golf bag] All right. [grabs a boomerang, throws it in order to get the bag unstuck, it hits the machine on the way back, but still the bag doesnt budge much to his disbelief] What...? [finally frustrated, he sticks his head inside the slot, pressing the coin dispenser, & kicks the vending machine, which he hops on one foot in pain] OW! [frustraly grabs a golf club out of his golf ba

Dialogue

Verne: Oh! Oooh! Boy, that's cold! That's cold! The one place I didn't have a shell. Verne: Wow. Spring. That means there's only 274 days left till winter. Everybody, wake up! Hibernation's over. Hammy: Oh, morning! Verne: Morning, Hammy. Hammy: I gotta go wee-wee! Verne: Not in the lake we drink from! Let's go, all right, the rest of you. It's spring! That means we gotta get to work. Hammy: Finished. [winces] No, wait! [zooms away can to use the bathroom again] Verne: Come on, everybody. Wake up. Don't make me come in there. Stella: [off-screen] Ya'll better listen. I've been holding something in all winter, and I'm about to let it out. Verne: Thank you, Stella. Stella: Oh, I can clear a room, Verne. Come on, that much I can do. Porcupine Kid: Good morning. Lou: Good morning, everyone! Porcupine Kid: How'd you guys sleep? Lou: Just a super-duper morning. Penny: Oh, jeepers. Lou: Whoa, not lookin' so good around the eyes there, hon. Penny: Bucky and Quillo were up every three or four w

Dialogue

Verne: Hello? Lou: I don't care who started it. Penny: Oh, look, food. Verne: Well, I think you know what this means. Hammy: Verne. Verne: Just a minute, Hammy. [passing one grab to each of them] This means we were nine berries away from starvation. Sorry. That was a little intense. I meant really serious hunger pains. Hammy: Verne! Verne: Not finished, Hammy. Morning, Lou, Penny. Penny: Thanks. Verne: Hey, kids. So, what I want to tell you is... Hammy: Verne! Verne: I'm not done, Hammy. If you have to go again, just go. OK. So all I'm saying is we cut it a little close. So this year, we need to make sure that we fill the log... Ozzie: All the way to the top. Verne: Exactly. [meanwhile, RJ is walking by the bushes, seeing them for the first time] All the way to the top. Because what are we? All: Foragers! Verne: And what do we forage? All: Food! Verne: Right. Lou: Super, Verne, really super. Verne: OK, Hammy. What is it? Hammy: What is what? Verne: What is it you want to tell me? Hammy

Dialogue

Verne: Oh, hey there, little... ...fella. Verne: Hi. Verne: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Phone toy: Operator. Can I help you? Gladys: [First Words] No, I can talk. I'm just driving. Hammy: Verne's back. Bucky: Verne! Penny: Jeepers! Lou: You OK? Stella: Help him up. Ozzie: What was over there? Verne: Freaky pink primates! They must have come while we were hibernating. It was awful. They had wheels on their feets...[RJ hops onto a tree, listening to their conversation] ...and there sticks, and they were whacking me with sticks like it was some sort of sick game. Ozzie: You should have died! You should have laid down and died! Heather: Dad. Verne: That's not the worst part. Half the forest is gone. The oak trees and the berry bushes, they're just... they're just... gone. Penny: Jeepers. Stella: What'll we do for food? Quillo: How are we gonna live? [Vernes looks at his family] Verne: I don't know. But here's what I do know. We will be fine as long as no one goes over Steve again.

Dialogue

RJ: Welcome to suburbia. All: Wow! Look at that! Quillo: Hey, Mom, look at us! Look at us! Lou: Oh, my! Hon, look at this. Penny: Jeepers. RJ: How's that tail, Verne? Verne: Listen, if anybody in this family gets hurt, I'm holding you personally responsible. RJ: They're having a good time. I'll take responsibility for that. All: This is neat. Look at that. Hey, Spike, look at that. Lou: Hey, Verno, I took a few clippings out of my quills to do a little comparison. Look at this, the grass seems to be greener over here. Ozzie: Verne, are you certain you came to the same place? Stella: Yeah, 'cause the raccoon says... Verne: OK, enough about him. I get it. So he can do a couple of tricks. I mean, it's not like he can walk on water. RJ: Hey, everybody! This way to the food! Spike: That thing's huge! Hammy: What is that? RJ: That is an SUV. Humans ride around in it because they are slowly losing their ability to walk. Penny: Jeepers, it's so big! Lou: How many humans fit in there? RJ: Usual

Dialogue

RJ: No! OK. Four paws, fur. Still alive, still alive. Shelby: So, what are you saying? You want me to take 'em to his house? Mackenzie: No. Shelby: Then what are you saying? Mackenzie: Jimmy was pushing me on the bus. Shelby: He likes you. Mackenzie: No way, he's a creep. Next time he shoves you, beat him up. RJ: Yes! Lou: OK, kids, dive in. There it is. Bark for breakfast! Spike: I want a doughnut! Quillo: I want pizza. Penny: No, you don't. Verne: Okay. This is great. [eats bark] Granted, it takes some time to chew. But that... That was very satisfying. And, by the way, lots of fiber in there too. Lots. RJ: [as he enters] I gotta admit, that does look tasty. Verne: [spits out his bark] What are you doing here? RJ: I'm here to help you with your...foraging thing. [Verne still looks at him] Look, Verne, you said a word yesterday about your little gang here. It starts with an F, do you remember what it was? Verne: [confused] Family? RJ: Right, right, that. You know, that got me right he

Dialogue

Shelby: And the Doyles' is the yellow house. They only ordered one box. RJ: And there they are. America's most coveted cookies. Love Handles, Skinny Mints, Neener Neeners and Smackeroons. And guess what? They're all yours! Whoa, Hamilton. Hold on there, fella. I love your energy, but you can't take 'em. Hammy: But you just said they're mine! RJ: They will be, if we successfully marry your manic energy to my brilliant plan. You with me, kid? Hammy: I-I-I-I-I-I- RJ: The 'ayes' have it. Let's ride. Shelby: I thought Mrs. Johansson was to allergic to chocolate. Mackenzie: Really. Shelby: Yeah. If she eats it her face like explodes or something. Mackenzie: That is like so unfair. Wait, wait. How many boxes of...? Hammy: [to the reflection] Hey! You stay away from those cookies. They're mine! Hammy: [points to the reflection] Hey, this guy's not coming, is he? Cause I don't want him to. RJ: Oh, we have so much work to do. Come on, step into my office. Now listen up. What we're going for here

Dialogue

RJ: That's right. Don't push. Plenty for everybody. Got a box right over here for ya, Penny. Penny: Jeepers, that is good. Kids, eat up! Anything that tastes this good has to be good for you. RJ: You feel that buzz in the back of your skull? Penny: Yeah. RJ: That's called a sugar rush. It's what keeps humans going. It's why they don't hibernate. You top that off with a little of this, and what usually takes you all summer is only gonna take us a week. RJ: Hold on, Hamsquad. The last thing you need is caffeine. That's right. Come on, dig in. Because this, my friends, is just the beginning. Verne: What? Hammy: Read it and weep. Gladys: Hello? I need every business listing you have under "exterminator." Verne: Ozzie! Timmy: Whoa, Mom! You hit a possum. Debbie: Oh, my goodness. Skeeter: Do you think it's dead? Verne: Oh, no.

Dialogue

Skeeter: Wow! Boy: Touch it. Skeeter: Can I poke him? Debbie: No! These poor little creatures. Mackenzie: Come check it out. It's a dead possum. Gladys: Debbie? I don't remember seeing a permit app for a gathering. Groups of more than one who wish to get... AAAH! Debbie: [to her son] Timmy, get the shovel from the car. Ozzie: Lights fading, limbs growing cold. - I see a tunnel. Verne: [dismayed] Oh, no. Ozzie: Mother, is that you beckoning me into the light? Must move toward the light. Timmy: What do you think he's doing? Skeeter: Maybe we knocked his brains loose or something. Verne: I'm tellin' you, you went to far this time. Let's get out of here and leave this [picks up the blue cooler] You're dangerous! You're insane?! RJ: Nice catch Verne. Ozzie: Yes! Yes! Sweet mother, I'm going HOME! [coughs] Goodbye, cruel world!? [notices the flowerpot on the sidewalk] Oh! Ooh! [Whispers] Rosebud. [groans as he spins around, then falls on the ground and passes out] Skeeter: Now can I poke him

Dialogue

Lou: That's what I call a super-duper performance there. Hammy: I wanna do it again! RJ: Beyond super. They were riveted, man. You were awesome! Heather: Dad. I just gotta say, that was... that was pretty good. Bucky: Props for the Ozman! All: Ozman! Ozzie: But let's not forget our brilliant leadership: RJ. Animals: RJ! Heather: Hey, RJ, come this way. We wanna show you something. RJ: Yeah, sure. Quillo: Sweet. RJ: What a team! Stella: That raccoon knows what he's doing. Lou: You're my hero there, fella. Heather: Over here, this way. Spike: RJ, come on! Quillo: Yeah, we wanna show you something. Come on, hurry! Stella: Check it out. [RJ looks around at some random objects of his new home] Your new home! Hammy: [gestures at the baby car seat] And look, we got a place for you right here! RJ: That's for me? Lou: Yeah, is this anything like what you had, RJ? RJ: This isn't anything like what I had, Lou. Hammy: [hands RJ a can of caffeine] Here, I'm not supposed to drink this. RJ: Thanks. [

Dialogue

RJ: Verne. What are you doing? Verne: I'm getting things back to the way they were. RJ: No, don't. How about I just leave? [picks up the Spuddies and placed it back on the pile] Verne: Good. You leave, and I return this stuff to the rightful owners. RJ: What?! Why? Verne: Because we've angered the humans. And we don't wanna end up like that rabbit. Hence, I'm giving this back so they won't kill us. RJ: Verne, you don't understand! We need this stuff! Verne: No, we don't! RJ: You can't take it! Verne: Yes, I can! RJ: Let go! Verne: You let go! RJ: I have to have it. Verne: No! RJ: [quietly] Verne. Move slow, keep your voice low and follow me. Verne: What? RJ: SSShhhhh! Verne: No! RJ: SSShhhhh! Verne: No! I'm not falling for any more of your smooth talk! I don't know what you're up to, but my entire shell is tingling. Know what? I'm listening to it this time, and I'm putting my foot down. RJ: No, no. [A dog named Nugent] Nugent: Play? [Squeaky Toys] Verne: ??? Nugent: Play! Play, play, p

Dialogue

Spike: Good night, Uncle RJ. RJ: Good night, kiddo. Vincent: Moon's full, RJ. See ya in the morning. Dwayne: This'll cut you down to size! Dwayne: I got ya! Gladys: Is it done? Dwayne: Affirmative. Gladys: And did you put this one in? [after installed a lot of traps] What about this one, this Depelter Turbo? Dwayne: That's a contraband item, ma'am, as it is illegal in every state, [with his hand over his heart] except Texas. Gladys: I don't care if this violates the Geneva Conventions, I want it. Dwayne: I thought you might, so I took the liberty of installing it for you. [as he tosses a stuffed teddy bear in it] Adios, animal infestation. RJ: [horrified at the sight before him] AHHHHH!!! [We see it in a cage, with outside burned off] Gladys: Oh my. [chuckles, laughing] [RJ sits on the root, looks up at the full moon, pulls out the list, and sadly crumpled it up] RJ: [to himself] What have I done? Verne: I shouldn't have taken all that food. RJ: What? Verne: I shouldn't have taken all

Dialogue

Dwayne: Not again. Dang it! Those things are so lifelike. Curse you, plastic moldsman. RJ: OK, Hammy. Hammy! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Hammy, I told you that cookie's junk! Hammy: But I like a cookie. Verne: What's going on? Is everything OK? RJ: Here we go! Come on, Hammy, come on. Follow the pretty light. There it is, that's it. That's it, that's it. There it is. Go get it. That's it, that's it. Go get it, you little nut! Bingo! OK, step two. Verne: I thought we'd be dead by step two, so this is going great! RJ: Alright, gorgeous, you're on. [pushes Stella out of the bushes] Stella: [to herself] Man, this better be one stupid cat. RJ: Audio, go! Verne: She's supposed to be a cat. Put it on cat. Maybe the cat likes the cow. Let's hope the cat likes the cow. Tiger: [busts out of his pet door] Who goes there?! RJ: [to Stella] You're a cat! You're a cat! Stella: [to Tiger] You're a cat! [RJ facepalms] I mean, I'm a cat. Uh, meow! Tiger: Yeah. Right. Shoo

Dialogue

RJ: Whoa! Heather: This place is huge. Spike: Wicked cool. RJ: Animals are in the house. All: Wow! Lou: Oh, my goodness. Heather: This is so cool. RJ: Yes! OK, stations, everybody. Ozzie: Let's boogie! Heather: We got it. RJ: Here we go. Hammy: No grip, no grip, no grip. RJ: Hammy! Less claw, more pad. Hammy: Oh, OK. That hurt. Quillo: [turns for the THX Logo on] Uh-oh! Tiger: What was that? Stella: It....That's just for the sound of my heart. Can't you hear it? [She imitates the deep note while Spike kept on being blown away] Quillo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Spike: This way, that way! [he and Bucky switches for the channel to Gladys sleeping. Quillo falls over for the THX logo] RJ: Okay, okay, we're good! Go back to work! Penny: There you go. [Ozzie throws a can to Penny, who throws it to Spike, who throws it to Heather] Heather: [to Verne] Here, catch! [Verne catches for the can then throws it to Lou. Lou rolls for the can down a transparent paper roll and then Hammy grabs can by can and pu

Dialogue

Dwayne: You've just been verminated. [turns to Gladys] Whoa. You stink. Gladys: [angrily] That's because you let them into my... house! [sobs] Those... Dwayne: Hey, Nancy, stop you're honkin'! These little guys will be disposed of quickly and humanely. Gladys: No, not humanely--as inhumanely as possible! Dwayne: It was a pleasure doing business with you, ma'am. [The caged animals watched RJ leave with the wagon of food, feeling betrayed.] Bucky: What's he gonna do to us, Mama? Penny: I...I don't know, baby. Heather: [clutches her arms around Ozzie while locked in a cage, about to be driven off for extermination] I don't wanna die, Dad. Not for real. Ozzie: There, there, sweetheart. We'll be okay. [Stella, from her cage holds Hammy's hand, who is in his own cage, scared] Lou: [referring to RJ] You were right about him, Verne. We should've listened. Sorry there. Verne: No. [sits down] I knew we wouldn't trust him, and I got us into this. I should have known better.

Dialogue

Vincent: Wow! Vincent: Wow. RJ: Vincent? Vincent: So, I was just on my way down here to kill you, but I stopped to watch the show and I gotta say... [gives RJ his binoculars and shows Verne and his family being taken away by Dwayne] that right there is a thing of beauty. That is the most vicious, deceitful, self-serving thing I've ever seen. [chuckles] Classic, RJ You take the food and they take the fall. You keep this up, you're gonna end up just like me, having everything you ever wanted. RJ: But I already had that. Vincent: What, them? Who are you kidding? You said it yourself, you're a family of one. Always will be. It's how guys like you and me survive. So, a few saps got hurt in the process. Tough, that's life. Trust me, you don't need them. RJ: Actually...I do. And right now, they really need me. So I really need this! [pushed the wagon with all the food] Vincent: [enraged] RJ!

Dialogue

Dwayne: What the...? Hammy: There goes my back again. Ozzie: Are you OK? Stella: You sorry sack of rat dung. RJ: Whoa, Stella, this is a rescue. I'm rescuing you. Stella: I'm gonna gas you so hard your grandchildren'll stink. Verne: [beneath the window] Bear! RJ: What's that? Verne: Bear! RJ: Hair? Verne: Bear! RJ: Dare? Verne: Bear! RJ: [looks back at Vincent] Oh! BEAR!!!!!!

Dialogue

Verne: We're out of control! Bucky: We can drive. Spike: It's just like Auto-Homicide 3! Verne: What? RJ: Verne, let me in! Wrong button! Wrong button! GPS: Please select destination. Hammy: Take us home! Take us to the log! GPS: Previous destination selected. Make a legal U-turn. Quillo: We got it! RJ: Hammy! Let me in! Hammy: Not listening to RJ. Verne: Kids, lose that bear! Bucky: What weapons do we have? Spike: We've got a hammer. Quillo: Cool. Vincent: You little... RJ: Thank you! Yes, Yes! [The animals end up throwing him out] Hey! Let me in, let me in! Ozzie: No! Ring-tailed charlatan! [rolls up the window] RJ: Ozzie! Verne: He's just trying to help us. Just let him in! Stella: After what he did to us? Verne: But he came back. [Vincent's roar is heard] Lou: And he brought a bear! Spike: [while driving the van, the others are arguing] Hey! No fighting while we're driving. Quillo: We will turn this van around, mister. [The animals were shocked and stunned] Lou: [points at Verne] H

Dialogue

Penny: Come on, come on. Quillo! RJ: Go, go, go. Penny: Did we make it? Lou: That was close! Bucky: All right! RJ: Are we here? Penny? The kids here? Hammy? Hammy: [pointing at Vincent floating down to the ground the moment he returns; scared] Scary clown. RJ: Look out! Hammy: A weed hacker, Verne. A weed hacker! Stella: Hey! Up, up, go up. Gladys: Show your little rat faces. Filthy creatures. Stay in the woods where you belong. Heather: Watch out!

Dialogue

Dwayne: You guys wanna party, do you? All right then! Let's Party! Quillo: Mom! RJ: Kids! Penny, Lou, look out! Down! That's it! Verne, get everybody out of here. I'll distract him. Verne: Are you crazy? He'll kill you. RJ: Well, I'm the one he wants. Take care of your family, Verne. Verne: I intend to. The whole family. There's got to be something we can do. RJ: There's no time. RJ and Verne: Hammy! RJ: [pops out from the top of the hedge] Hey, Vincent, you were right! [holds up a potato chip] With a Spuddie, enough just isn't enough! [then eats the potato chip] Vincent: [last words; outraged] RJ!!! Ozzie: Now, Hammy. Go, go, go! Gladys: That's the-- Dwayne: The Depelter Turbo. Prepare for a lot of stinging! Oh, no! No, no! No, no! No! [A powerful beam of light flashes, reaching all the way to space, destroyed a satellite. Cut to the Milky Way Galaxy, where a small, white light is seen glowed brighter than the other stars. The animals roasting marshmallows and pops popcorn as they wat

Dialogue

RJ: That, my friends, is the object of all human attention and devotion, and they call it...a TV. Quillo: Wicked cool! RJ: You see, humans feel an inner need to connect with the world around them. Lou: That is just super-duper. RJ: They also feel a need to sit on their fat butts, watching TV fulfills both needs at the same time. Stella: Wow. Interesting. Penny: Come on, kids! Family time there, in front of the TV! Got your snack food? Hammy: Buy a vowel! BUY A VOWEL! Buy a "Y", Please buy a "Y"! Ozzie: I can't find the remote. Lou: Hey, Spikey! Race ya! Ozzie: Has anybody seen the remote? Heather: Dad, chill. Stella: I could do a little TV. I think today's the day we find out if the baby is gifted or if Saxon is really an alien. Hammy: Just Like Khan in Star Trek 2! The Genesis Project was in the hands of the Enterprise, but Khan had his plan to steal the invention and redo all the life! Verne:: Well, that was specific. Hammy: I saw it on TNT, a retrospective. Heather: Gummy Worm, anyb

Dialogue

RJ: [in a post-credits scene] Wait! Hang on a minute. [all the chip bags fall down and everyone laughs and cheers] Yes, here we go! [as he tries to get all the chips out, the lid is stuck, and the machine doesn't budge] Hammy: Kinda anticlimactic. RJ: Shoot!