Louie

Oh God, Louie. How can...that is, really bad. That's the worst penis I've ever seen in my life. That is disgusting, it's ... oh my God. This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me, seeing that...and my dad hung himself in front of me - whilst masturbating. But if I could take one of those things back it would be seeing that awful cock. It looks like you've been getting a dog to suck it off but it chewed it like it thought it was a horrible blood and cum filled shoe.

Louie (American TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Pamela: Okay: what's the worst thought you ever had about your kids? Louie: ... I don't know - you go first. Pamela: All right, um... I would never hit Ser. Never. But, um, sometimes... I think about hitting him. Like I picture it. Like a fantasy? Louie: ... Come on, that's not so bad. Pamela: Well, I mean, I don't think about it when he's being bad, or, I'm having a hard time with him, or, anything like that, I just, uh... (clears throat) I think about it... when I'm bored. Or, when I'm bored of being a mom? Or when he's just boring. I just think about hitting him, right in his stupid little face. Louie: (laughing) Oh my god! That's awful! Pamela: I know... Louie: Oh my god! Pamela: I know? Louie: (laughs) Jesus! Pamela: All right, so- what's yours? Louie: Oh, uh... I don't know, I'm drawing a blank. Pamela: C'mon. Louie: I can't think of anything. Pamela: That's not fair! You're a piece of shit. You're gonna make me burn in hell alone? Louie: Nonononono, okay, uh... (deep in thought)

Louie (American TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Listen. I wish I could tell you it gets better, but... it doesn't get better. You get better.

Louie (American TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Kick a jesus in the face, this is delicious.

Louie (American TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Louie: Give me a shot. Bartender: A shot of what? Louie: A shot of whiskey. Bartender: What kind of whiskey? Louie: I don't know, brown liquid that makes people feel different than if they didn't drink it.

Louie (American TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Louie: Hey, what are you doing? Laurie: I'm gonna put out. Let me blow you. Louie: Seriously? Laurie: No, it's a hidden-camera show. Come on, get that thing out. Louie: Okay. Laurie: Lick it or I'll break your finger! Louie: Okay, okay.

Louie (American TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0