Two for the Road

Joanna Wallace: [referring to a pair of newlyweds seated in the back of a Rolls Royce] They don't look very happy. Mark Wallace: Why should they? They just got married.

Two for the Road (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Mark Wallace: Do you know what marriage is? Joanna Wallace: Hmm, you tell me, and see if we're thinking of the same thing. Mark Wallace: Marriage is when the woman tells the man to take off his pajamas... and it's because, she wants to send them to the laundry.

Two for the Road (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Mark Wallace: Just wish that you'd stop sniping. Joanna Wallace: I haven't said a word! Mark Wallace: Just because you use a silencer doesn't mean you're not a sniper.

Two for the Road (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Mark Wallace: What kind of people just sit like that without a word to say to each other? Joanna Wallace: Married people?

Two for the Road (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Mark Wallace: Are you a virgin? Mark Wallace: Thought you were. Can always tell. Joanna Wallace: Congratulations. Mark Wallace: I was two years at the University of Chicago. Joanna Wallace: Studying virgin detection? Mark Wallace: Only at night school.

Two for the Road (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Mark Wallace: [Joanna has returned from an affair] Hello. Joanna Wallace: Hello. Mark Wallace: Well? Joanna Wallace: [softly, on the verge of tears] I'm back. Mark Wallace: Enjoy yourself? Joanna Wallace: [nods] Yes, thank you. But I missed you. Joanna Wallace: I did. Mark Wallace: Why? Joanna Wallace: Because he's so serious. Mark Wallace: I thought you liked people who were serious. Joanna Wallace: But he's so serious. Mark Wallace: Well, I'd better make some funny faces... Joanna Wallace: [softly] You don't need to make funny faces. Joanna Wallace: Mark, I'm back! Mark Wallace: You humiliate me. You humiliate me... and then you come back. Joanna Wallace: [nods tearfully] That's right. Mark Wallace: Thank God!

Two for the Road (film), CC BY-SA 4.0