Quotes

It's Alive! [2.01]

Dexter: Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen again, and again. It has to happen. It's not what I want. But what I want doesn't matter. This is the only way I know how to survive. I'm coiled and ready to strike. [Dexter bowls] Although a spare will do. Dexter: [voiceover] I'm on edge. Thirty-eight days, sixteen hours, and twelve minutes have passed since I killed my brother. In that entire time, I haven't had a single night to myself. Sergeant Doakes makes sure of that. He follows me everywhere now. A human bloodhound incited by the scent of darkness. My best hope of losing him is to act relentlessly normal. Dull. So I bowl. What's really disturbing is that I'm good at it. Dexter: [voiceover] With Doakes tailing me, my life's been all Jekyll and no Hyde. No moonlit play dates. No late night social calls. Not one. My brother would be so disappointed. Angel: Don't forget! Tell the universe what you need! Dexter: [voiceover] I really need... to kill somebody. Dexter: I see you've

It's Alive! [2.01]

Dexter: I forgot that I had promised to sub for another bowling team. Debra: Why do you look so happy about it? Dexter: ...I like bowling, what can I say? Look will you take Rita out for me? She hired a babysitter and everything. Debra: No way, I need to work out. Dexter: Actually, you need to stop working out. It's getting unhealthy. You should go out for some hard liquor instead. Debra: [starts running] Sorry bro. Dexter: Deb, please! When do I ever ask you for anything? Debra: [stops running] You bung hole. Why did you have to put it that way? Dexter: She's expecting you in half an hour. You're a life saver!

Waiting to Exhale [2.02]

Dexter: I'm drifting. I finally get a chance to kill and I can't do it, then a second chance and he gets away. And now all my secrets are floating to the surface. Where is the orderly controlled effective Dexter? How did I lose him? How do I find him again? I'm drifting. But not to sleep. Doakes: Any idea who the FBI's sending? Angel: Some guy named Lundy. Doakes: Frank Lundy? He's a rock star. The Green River Killer; the DC Sniper; the case was impossible, he broke it. Dexter: Still, it can't be easy to hide a body nowadays. Vince: Are you shitting me? Dexter: Hypothetical. You're the Bay Harbor Butcher. How do you make sure that disposed bodies stay disposed? Vince: Tons of options. Everglades. Alligators. Pig farms. Sulfuric acid. Woodchipper. Incinerator. Hell, even meat pies. The mind boggles. Lundy: First report from the field had these parts as coming from one body. Dexter: [voiceover] Actually, it's two. Lundy: Actually, it's two. Dexter: [voiceover] Uh oh. Lundy: There's been

An Inconvenient Lie [2.03]

Caroline: I, um, I started taking pain pills after my back surgery. I don't need them for the pain anymore. Now, I... now I just need them. Dexter: [voiceover] And I need duct tape. Three or four rolls. Running low on heavy duty trash bags. When's the last time I sharpened my knives? Dexter: [about dead bodies] Are you hoping they'll talk to you? Lundy: The ones with heads anyway. They always speak, eventually. Just gotta ask the right question. Dexter: Which is? Lundy: Why were they chosen? Dexter: You looking for a pattern? Lundy: One doesn't kill this many people in this careful, methodical way without a reason. Some... twisted set of principles. Dexter: They would have to be twisted, wouldn't they? Lundy: The worst killers in history are usually the ones who think the murders were somehow... just. Even deserved. Leaders have slaughtered whole populations for the same warped reason. Dexter: But there's never any justification for killing. Lundy: No. Well, one, of course. To save an

See-Through [2.04]

Dexter: More nightmares? What was it, the big scary ghost or the alligator? Cody: No. The Bay Harbor Butcher. Rita: Oh, honey. Dexter: He would never hurt you. But I'll let you in on a secret. My sister Debra, who is a secret police agent ninja warrior, said he only kills bad people. And you're not a bad person, are you? Cody: No. Dexter: Then you're quite safe. Lila: So, tell me. Why do you use? Dexter: ...Why? I dunno, it's just part of who I am. Lila: And who are you? Dexter: I'm, uh... a bad person. Lila: Ha ha ha. You haven't got the first idea who you are, have you? Dexter, meet Dexter. I'm gonna help the two of you get to know each other. Dexter: Doesn't really seem necessary. Lila: The first step to recovery is accepting who you are. Dexter: I thought the first step was admitting you have a problem. Lila: And before you can accept who you are, you have to know who you are. So that's our first job. You're going to tell me all your deepest, darkest secrets. Masuka: Dex, I got thi

See-Through [2.04]

Dexter: Good morning. Debra: So, that was a little weird last night. Dexter: No, yeah...Well it was dark, my eyes hadn't adjusted. All I could see were shadows. Debra: Well please put those shadows out of your mind.

See-Through [2.04]

Lila: I think you should give me another chance. Dexter: There's nothing you can do to help me. It's not even you. It's me. I am who I am, and nobody's gonna change that. Lila: Whatever you think you are... you don't have to be that. Dexter: That's where you're wrong. Lila: Stop judging yourself. There are no absolutes. No one's all good, or evil. Dexter: You're just gonna have to trust me on this. Lila: Jesus, Dexter, what are you so fucking scared of!? You make yourself into a monster so you no longer bear responsibility for what you do! "Ah, I can't help it, I'm a monster," or, "Of course I was gonna do that, I'm a monster." It's sad! And it's pathetic! And it breaks my heart. Dexter: You don't think there are monsters in this world? You don't believe that people are evil? Dexter: I'll show you evil. Lila: It's... incredible. Dexter: But the person who did this... Lila: Is a person just like me. Like you. We're all good, Dexter. And we're all evil. Dexter: [voiceover] I thought I cl

The Dark Defender [2.05]

Debra: [drinks coffee] Oh sweet Mary mother of fuck, that's good. Dexter: Think you might have broken a commandment somewhere in there. Debra: Dad taught us one thing, it's the value of human life. Dexter: [voiceover] Yeah, but I think we had different homework assignments. Dexter: [voiceover] I never really got the whole superhero thing. But lately, it does seem we have a lot in common; tragic beginnings; secret identities; part human, part mutant; [looking over at Doakes] archenemies. Lila: Where did you drift off to, anyway? Dexter: I was having this bizarre dream about my mother. Lila: Say no more. Oedipus complex, explains a lot. Dexter: [to the man who killed his mother] You stole my life. Santos: [laughs] What the fuck? You are really beginning to piss me off. Dexter: I'm not the person I'm supposed to be because you took someone from me.

Dex, Lies, and Videotape [2.06]

Angel: [laying a hand on Dexter's shoulder; referring to the Bay Harbor Butcher] Take your time in there. We've never been this close to this pendejo. Dexter: [voiceover] Closer than you think, amigo.

Dex, Lies, and Videotape [2.06]

Rita: I can do this more often now that my mom's in town. I feel like we're being bad. Dexter: Bad. Bad is good. Rita: Let the machine get it. Lila: [on the answering machine] Hey, Dex, just calling to check in. Thought we could do the debriefing on dinner. I thought it went well, don't you? Rita: Mmm I'd say so. Lila: [on the answering machine] Rita's sweet, very Martha Stewart. Dexter: I love Martha Stewart! Lila: [on the answering machine] God, her mum, she's got quite the rod up her ass, doesn't she? By the way, I am such a twat. I can't believe I almost slipped up about your mum. Mind you, it could've been worse. I could've spilled the beans about our road trip. Rita: Don't you dare! Lila: [on the answering machine] Can you imagine Rita's face if I told her you and I spent the night together in a hotel? Rita: You and Lila spent the night in a hotel together?! Dexter: We had adjoining rooms! Rita: Adjoining rooms? God, I am such an idiot. I can't believe I defended you to my mother

Dex, Lies, and Videotape [2.06]

Debra: You're such a guy. When I get pissed I say stuff I don't mean all the time: I hate you. I faked it. You're hung like a grape. Dexter: [voiceover] The full force of the FBI, that's the last thing I need. I've got to make sure Lundy gets his man, after I figure out a way to erase the marina files, and make up with my girlfriend, and then maybe I'll tackle world hunger because things can't really get much worse. Lila: [to Dexter, after a bout of semi-rough sex] I guess we found a way to quiet the voices in your head. Dexter: [voiceover] The voices are back. Excellent.

That Night, a Forest Grew [2.07]

LaGuerta: Goddammit James, I'm not joking. Doakes: Do I look like I'm laughing? LaGuerta: No, you don't. I wish you would. You used to. Doakes: Bullshit. I never laughed. Debra: Who's the skank? Dexter: Deb, did knocking occur to you? Debra: Who is she? [Noticing the ridiculous number of candles] And are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire? Dexter: Hey, I didn't do this to you when you were riding square-jaw guy with the handcuffs. Doakes: You finally decided to fight back. I've been waiting. Dexter: I hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday. Doakes: You might have been, for all I know. Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. I tried every avenue, legal and otherwise, but there ain't no paper trail on the early years of Dexter Morgan. Dexter: I guess there's no recorder running after all. Doakes: No, man. Unlike you, I do everything out in the open. Dexter: Well, in that case, sergeant,

Morning Comes [2.08]

Lundy: Can I offer you some tea? Dexter: Uh, no, thank you, I'm... [voiceover] And he pours it anyway. He's trying to throw me off balance, show that I don't have the power to say no to him. Lundy: How about some sesame crackers to go with that? Dexter: [voiceover] So I'll say yes to everything. [speech] I'd love some. Lundy: [checks box] Oh, sorry. Guess I ate them all. Dexter: [voiceover] Asshole. Lundy: So you, one of the most cautious and precise forensic specialists I've had the pleasure to work with, you performed blood work that directly led to Rodrigo walking free. I ask myself, how the hell did that happen? Dexter: [voiceover] And did you answer, Dexter blew the case on purpose so that he could get Rodrigo off the streets for good with a cordless reciprocating saw? Debra: [about Lundy] So he's 20 years older than me, what do you care? Dexter: I don't. [pause] I mean, [sits down, leans close] I'm sure you wouldn't do anything like that. Debra: What are you talking about, do any

Resistance Is Futile [2.09]

Dexter: [to Rita] I'm sorry. I feel... such regret, which is rare for me. Not that I don't mess up, I do, just never so stupendously. I had you, and them; I had us. So much to have, and just to demolish it, I honestly thought I was smarter than that. Rude awakening. Dexter: [voiceover, on Lila] Can't live with her, can't kill her. Lundy: What exactly is Sergeant Doakes's problem with you, Morgan? Dexter: [voiceover] I kill people, for one. Doakes: Jesus Christ, Morgan. Jesus fucking Christ. You're the Bay Harbor Butcher. Dexter: I really hate that name. Doakes: Shut the fuck up. Let's get this over with. [tosses handcuffs] Put 'em on. [Dexter hesitates] Morgan, you're done. Give it up. Dexter: Would you, in my position? Doakes: I wouldn't be in your position, you sick fuck. Dexter: You sure about that? You might want to check with Lundy.

There's Something About Harry [2.10]

Dexter: Why couldn't you just leave me to do my work in peace? Why'd you have to go and ruin everything? Doakes: You're a killer. I catch killers. Dexter: So do I. I caught you. Doakes: I'm not a killer. Dexter: [chuckles] You are. That's why you've always known what I am. That's why you have more officer-related shootings than anybody else. Only I don't fuck with you when you shoot somebody. Why couldn't you pay me the same professional courtesy? Doakes: There's nothing professional about what you do. I kill when I have to, on the job. Dexter: Oh, so it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it? Dexter: [voiceover] I remember when life was easy. When the only question I worried about was who's next. Now it's: How can I dodge my "protective detail"? What should I do with my "hostage"? These are not easy questions. Dexter: Regardless of how we got here, one of the two killers in this cabin has to go away. Doakes: I am not a killer. Dexter: Right. In terms of who goes, i

Left Turn Ahead [2.11]

Dexter: [voiceover] I always thought hardening arteries squeezed the life out of my father. But it was me. Harry gazed into the eyes of his creation and saw evil, pure and simple. My evil. It killed him. Doakes: That shit about your father. You wanna talk about it? Dexter: About what? That my life is one tragic mistake? Doakes: We've all felt that at one time or another. I know I have. Dexter: Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point? Dexter: [voiceover] Harry's heart gave out when he saw what's inside me. He thought he could tame it, give it a purpose, help it find a place in the natural order. Guess he was wrong. Dexter: [voiceover] It won't be long now. I can hang this on Doakes and then... then what? Years of trials and appeals. With him pointing his finger and calling me killer. For such a neat monster I'm making an awfully big mess. Dexter: In the long run it would be easier on Deb. Rita. Better than watching me dragged in like an animal. Which,

The British Invasion [2.12]

Lila: Who put you in there? Doakes: A fucking psycho. And he could be back any minute. Grab that key, right behind you on the wall. Lila: Who is he? Doakes: His name is Dexter Morgan. I need you to open this gate. Lila: Why would he do that, put you in there? Doakes: Because I found out that he's the fucking Bay Harbor Butcher! Please, just open this fucking gate! Lila: He's the Butcher? Doakes: That's what I've been trying to tell you. Lila: What's in there? Doakes: Exactly what you think it is. It's evidence. And I saw what happened. I really need to get out of this cage, lady. Lila: Poor thing, all alone... Doakes: I'm okay. Just open the gate. Lila: Not you. Dexter. Hiding such an enormous secret... what burden that's got to be. No wonder he is so shut down. Doakes: What are you? His accomplice? Lila: I'm his soulmate. Dexter: [voiceover] When something beyond reason happens, it turns skeptics into believers. Believers in a higher power. But what kind of power did this? [...] Was i