Quotes

Other

You know, these dances, these wild crazy dances--I think they've succeeded where science failed. 'Cause you know, I can go to a beauty parlor and sit there for hours having my hair done and my nails polished, but I don't feel any younger. I might look it. These dances, these wild crazy dances--they do something to me inside.

Other

I just wanted you to see my suit. Seersucker. Sears made it, you're looking at the sucker that bought it.

Other

The postman came with a letter and, uh, told me that the Great Society was having a war on poverty. So, uh, I told him, if that is true, I want to be the first to surrender.

Dialogue

Maria Forst: There's a Bergman film in the neighborhood. Richard Forst: I don't feel like getting depressed tonight.

Dialogue

Richard Forst: Jeannie, do me a favor. Don't be silly anymore. Just be yourself. Jeannie Rapp: But I am myself. Who else would I be? Richard Forst: I'm serious. Jeannie Rapp: Definition of serious: Blah blah blah blah...

Dialogue

Richard Forst: No place like home. Maria Forst: What? Richard Forst: I said, "Have you ever been to Rome?"

Dialogue

Billy Mae: They are scared of you. They are. Chet: Really? Billy Mae: They are scared of your youth and your, uh, spirit and your build. They think that they are the kings of the earth, and they do not want you taking away our place, see? Chet: Well, I don't want it.

Dialogue

Jeannie Rapp: You're a son-of-a-bitch, do you know that? Richard Forst: Why am I a son-of-a-bitch? Jeannie Rapp: Because you get to me.

Dialogue

Jim McCarthy: How did we get into this? Joe Jackson: How did we get into it? How the hell do we get out of it?

Dialogue

Richard Forst: What do you want to drink? Maria Forst: Well, whatever it is, I want it on the rocks, straight and dirty, because I feel very very bitchy tonight. Richard Forst: Well, I feel very, very bitchy too. That makes two of us.

Dialogue

Richard Forst: You're not fat. Jeannie Rapp: What? Richard Forst: You're voluptuous.

Dialogue

Chet: I think we're making fools of ourselves. Louise: What? Chet: Yeah. Louise: I'm making a fool of myself? Chet: Well, we are. Yeah. Louise: Well, who are you to criticize me? Chet: I'm not criticizing; I'm just saying. Louise: Well, you don't have to tell me I'm making a fool of myself. Look, I know how to dance my way. I don't need you to tell me about it. I come from a musical background. I take care of a family of five. I have a college degree, and I don't need you to tell me I'm making a fool of myself.

Dialogue

Richard Forst: I want a divorce. Richard Forst: Did you hear what I said? Maria Forst: [laughing] Oh, Dickie... Richard Forst: That's the only thing to do, isn't it? Well, why don't you laugh? It's funny!

Dialogue

Jeannie Rapp: Skinny people are not like fat people. Fat people are jolly. Right? Richard Forst: Wrong. Skinny people are happy because they're not fat.

Dialogue

Freddie: By the way, Jeannie, what do you charge? Jeannie Rapp: Freddie... Aw, Freddie... Aw, Freddie... Aw, no, Freddie... Don't spoil it, Freddie, please. Freddie: Spoil what? Honey, I'm game for anything. I just wanna know how much you charge. It's legitimate, isn't it? I know I have to pay. I'm not too schooled in these thngs, but I know that somewhere along the line, your little hand is going to find its way into my pocket. You're shocked, aren't you, old Dickie, old pal? What do you think she is? You think she's some clean towel that's never been used? My God, Dickie, you think you don't pay? How many times a week does Maria ask you for some money? Money, child, is a necessity, and don't you think that you don't work for it and pay for it. My God, what, what is this? He thinks I'm insulting you. I'm offering you. Hell, look, what's the matter? If I went to one of those fancy restaurants, I'd probably tip the headwaiter, the waiter, the busboy, and a hundred bucks goes flying down

Dialogue

Richard Forst: What is it that's black and white and red all over? Maria Forst: A newspaper. Richard Forst: No, a zebra's ass.