Quotes

Dialogue

Ben: Do you want to do it doggy-style? Alison: You're not going to fuck me like a dog. Ben: I'm not fucking you like a dog. It's doggy-style. It's just in the style. We don't have to go outside or anything. Ben: I'm naked... Alison: Hmm... Ben: Did we have sex? Alison: Yeah. Ben: Nice. Alison: I'm pregnant. Ben: Fuck off! Alison: What? Ben: What? Alison: I'm pregnant. Ben: With...emotion? Alison: With a baby. Ben: I assumed you were wearing a patch, or like a--like a dental dam, or one of those butterfly clips or something. Alison: What is a dental dam? Ben: It's like Saran Wrap. It's disgusting, but I thought you had one! Debbie: We have to help them raise the baby. Pete: Well, no! Jonah: I can't believe you didn't wear a bag, WHO DOES THAT? Jason: Why did we go to Costco and buy a year's supply of condoms if you weren't gonna use 'em, man? Jonah: I can't believe you did this. You messed everything up. Jason: The real point is not to get yourself into this position, that's what you ha

Dialogue

Alison: I'm sorry I told you to screw your bong. Ben: It's okay, I didn't.

Dialogue

Ben Stone: [Ben knocks on the door at Sadie's birthday party and Sadie answers] Hey! What up, dawg? Sadie: Where have you been? Ben Stone: Oh, you know, around. Sadie: Why is everyone so mad at you? Ben Stone: They are? What are they saying? Sadie: Oh, you know. "Blah, blah, blah. Ben's a fool". What's that mean? Ben Stone: Maniac. It means Maniac. Sadie: Penis. [nods her head and then giggles]

Dialogue

Sadie: Where do babies come from? Debbie: Where do you think they come from? Sadie: Well. I think a stork, he, um, he drops it down and then - and then a hole goes in your body, and there's blood everywhere coming out of your head, and then you push your belly button, and then your butt falls off, and then you hold your butt, and you have to dig, and you find the little baby. Debbie: That's exactly right.

Dialogue

Martin: Do you ever get so bored, you stare at your balls? Jonah: I bet you do, late John Lennon.

Dialogue

Pete: [after brushing his teeth] ... So what do you think? Should we have sex tonight? Debbie: Ugh... sounds awful... I'm just really constipated. Do you really want to? Pete: Well, not now!

Dialogue

Jay: Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit! [sees Alison, embarrassed] Jonah: What the fuck, man? If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' lose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a fuckin' stuffed animal! Jay: You're embarrassing me in front of company! Jonah: You embarrass yourself!

Dialogue

Ben Stone: I'd like to be in there with Alison without you. Debbie: OK. I understand how you feel, but this isn't up to you. Ben Stone: Look, Debbie. You are high off your ass if you think you're coming into that room. If you take one step towards that door, I will tell security there's a crazy chick in a pink dress snatching up babies, OK? So don't even try to come into that room, that's my room now. That little area with the Pepsi machine, that's your area. My room, your area. Stay in your area, stay out of my room. Back... the... fuck... off.