Lost Boys: The Thirst

Is this it? I've been waiting 300 years for a good fight!

Lost Boys: The Thirst, CC BY-SA 4.0

Alan Frog: Hello, Edgar. What brings you all the way down here? Edgar Frog: Now I have to have an excuse to visit my own brother? Alan: At one in the morning, yeah. Edgar: I figured you'd be up. I've recently learned there's a nightcrawler who's created a new designer drug that he's handing out to kids at raves. The only problem is it's not a drug; it's vampire blood. He's breeding an undead army. And the only thing that stands between him and the annihilation of the entire human race, potentially, would be us. The Frog Brothers. Alan: We haven't been the Frog Brothers for a long time. Edgar: I just... I can't do it without you. Alan: What about Sam? Edgar: Sam's gone. He turned, and, uh, I had to do what I had to do. Alan: I guess that cancels out Michael and Star. Edgar: Yeah. I'm pretty much persona non grata with the entire Emerson family at this point. Alan: Laddie? Edgar: He's moved on. He's got a wife, kids. He's got a real life now. Alan: Yeah, well, so do I! Edgar: You call th

Lost Boys: The Thirst, CC BY-SA 4.0

Johnny Trash: Hola, Trashynistas. I'm sitting here with the one, the only DJ X. I'm sorry for those of you who have a shoddy connection. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it when I tell you the man's absolutely scrumptious. DJ X: They'll just have to come and see me in person. Johnny: Yeah, well, they'll just have to get in line. Ha, ha. So, DJ X, why do you think the detached and the, you know, the disconnected youth of today have latched on so fervently to your parties? DJ X: Because I create a place where all the lost souls of the world can come together. A place where they can do what they want, whenever they wanna do it. Johnny: Yeah, you heard it straight from the man himself, all you lost boys and girls. This is gonna be the biggest rave of the century. And we'll let you know where it's gonna be an hour before this event, so stay tuned to this website for the deets. That was a great interview, X. Thank you so much. DJ X: No, no. Thank you for getting the word out. I w

Lost Boys: The Thirst, CC BY-SA 4.0

Gwen Lieber: So aren't you the least bit curious on how I know so much about vampires? Edgar: Not really. I know who you are. You're Gwen Lieber, bestselling author of the Eternity Kiss series. First of which is about to be made into a major motion picture, coming soon to a theater near you. Gwen: Oh, you've heard of me. I'm flattered. Edgar: Well, don't be. Because your books suck. Gwen: I'm sorry you feel that way. Edgar: It doesn't really matter what I think. You've got millions of emo-goth sheep all over the world who eat up every last word of it, and keep coming back for more. I'm sure you've made quite a nice living off your supernatural bodice-rippers. Gwen: I'll have you know, I have gotten glowing reviews from every major periodical. Edgar: Bought and paid for, I'm sure. Just like me. Gwen: What the hell is your problem, Frog?! Edgar: My problem?! My problem is you glorify vampirism. You make being a vampire look... sexy. Gwen: Well... there has always been an element of eroti

Lost Boys: The Thirst, CC BY-SA 4.0

Edgar: Lars von Goetz?! You hired Lars von Goetz?!! Gwen: I thought you'd be happy. Edgar: Happy?! First, you expect me to kill a head vampire. Then you expect me to babysit some reality show reject?! Gwen: You're not going to have to babysit him. Haven't you seen his show? The man's wrestled a grizzly bear, a lion and an alligator. He's amazing. Edgar: That was staged. All reality shows are staged, okay? Lars von Goetz, whatever his name is, he's a fraud. Vampires are, like, ten times much more stronger than grizzly bears. Gwen: Well, I think he can take care of himself. Edgar: We'll see about that.

Lost Boys: The Thirst, CC BY-SA 4.0

Edgar: Listen, buddy, if you're looking for the diet frozen yogurt bar, it went out of business last Summer. Sam Emerson: Actually I'm looking for a copy of Batman issue #14. Edgar: That's a very serious book, man. Alan: Only five in existence. Sam: Four, actually. I'm always looking out for the other three.

Lost Boys: The Thirst, CC BY-SA 4.0