Up in the Air

Steve: [on the verge of tears] Who the fuck are you, man? Ryan: [voiceover] Excellent question. Who the fuck am I? Poor Steve has worked here for seven years. He's never had a meeting with me before, or passed me in the hall, or told me a story in the break room. And that's because I don't work here. I work for another company that lends me out to pussies like Steve's boss, who don't have the balls to sack their own employees, and in some cases, for good reason. Because people do crazy shit when they get fired.

Up in the Air (2009 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Female flight attendant: Do you want the can, sir? Ryan: The what? Female flight attendant: Do you want the can, sir? Ryan: The cancer? Female flight attendant: The can, sir? Ryan: Oh, no, I'm fine, thank you.

Up in the Air (2009 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Alex: [going through each others wallets] Oh, my God. I wasn't sure this actually existed. This is the American Airlines... Ryan: It's a Concierge Key, yeah. Alex: What is that, carbon fibre? Ryan: Graphite. Alex: Oh, I love the weight. Ryan: I was pretty excited the day that bad boy came in. Alex: I'll say. I put up pretty pedestrian numbers. 60 thousand a year, domestic. Ryan: That's not bad. Alex: Don't patronize me. What's your total? Ryan: It's a personal question. Alex: Please. Ryan: And we hardly know each other. Alex: Come on, show some hubris. Come on, impress me. I bet it's huge. Ryan: You have no idea. Alex: How big? What is it, this big? This big? Ryan: I don't want to brag. Alex: Oh, come on! Come on. Ryan: Let's just say I have a number in mind and I haven't hit it yet. Alex: This is pretty fucking sexy. Ryan: Hope it doesn't cheapen our relationship. Alex: We're two people who get turned on by elite status. I think cheap is our starting point. Ryan: There's nothing cheap

Up in the Air (2009 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Ryan: [on getting through airport security] Never get behind people traveling with infants. I've never seen a stroller collapse in less than 20 minutes. Old people are worse. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left. Bingo, Asians. They pack light, travel efficiently, and they have a thing for slip on shoes. Gotta love 'em. Natalie: That's racist. Ryan: I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster.

Up in the Air (2009 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Ryan: Natalie, what is it you think we do here? Natalie: We prepare the newly unemployed for the emotional and physical hurdles of job hunting, while minimizing legal blow-back. Ryan: That's what we're selling. It's not what we're doing. Natalie: Okay, what are we doing? Ryan: We are here to make limbo tolerable, to ferry wounded souls across the river of dread until the point were hope is dimly visible. And then stop the boat, shove them in the water and make them swim. Natalie: [Sarcastically] That’s really impressive. You gonna put that in your book? Natalie: Hungry much? Ryan: Our business expense allots forty dollars each for dinner. I plan on grabbing as many miles as I can. Natalie: Okay, you got to fill me in on the miles thing. What is that about? You're talking about, like, frequent flyer miles? Ryan: You really want to know? Natalie: I'm dying to know. Ryan: I don't spend a nickel, if I can help it, unless it somehow profits my mileage account. Natalie: So, what are you savi

Up in the Air (2009 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Bob: [Shows them a picture of his children, after having been informed he's been let go] What do you suggest I tell them? Natalie: Perhaps you're overlooking the positive effects your career transition will have on your children. Bob: The positive effects? I make about ninety grand a year. Unemployment is, what? Two hundred fifty bucks a week? Is that one of your positive effects? We get to be cozier because I won't be able to pay my mortgage on my house so maybe we can move into a nice fucking one bedroom apartment somewhere. And I guess without benefits I'll be able to hold my daughter as she suffers from her asthma that I won't be able to afford the medication for. Natalie: Well, umm, tests have shown that children under moderate trauma tend to apply themselves academically as a method of coping. Bob: "Go fuck yourself", that's what my kids will think. Ryan: Your kids' admiration is important to you? Bob: Yeah. Yeah. It was. Ryan: I doubt they ever admired you, Bob. Bob: Hey, asshol

Up in the Air (2009 film), CC BY-SA 4.0