The Sword in the Stone

Merlin: [regarding jousting] Science indeed. One dummy trying to knock off another dummy with a bit of a stick. Archimedes: And The Wart's just as hot for it as the rest of them. Merlin: Yes. That boy's got real spark, lots of spirit. Throws himself, heart and soul, into everything he does. And that's really worth something. If it could only be turned in the right direction. Archimedes: Ha-ha! Fat chance of that! Merlin: Oh, I intend to cheat of course. Use magic! Every last trick in the trade if, I have to. Merlin: By George! I've had enough of this nonsense! ALAKAZAM! [in an atom bomb explosion, he changes back into a human, causing the granny squirrel to scream] There! Now you see? I'm an ugly, horrible, grouchy old man! Arthur: Merlin! Merlin: [turns around to see the girl squirrel hugging Arthur tightly] Oh. [chuckling] So, here we are. Arthur: Quick, Merlin, the magic! Merlin: Snick, snack, snorum! [turns Arthur back into a human] Arthur: [laughs, which causes the girl squirrel t

The Sword in the Stone (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Merlin: Archimedes, have you seen that flying machine model? Archimedes: I have nothing to do with your futuristic fiddle-faddle, you know that. Arthur: [pointing to the airplane model right above Merlin] What's that thing up there? Merlin: Hmm? Oh, yes, of course. Here we are. [takes it down] Arthur: Do you mean man will fly in one of those someday? Archimedes: [scoffs] If man were meant to fly, he'd have been born with wings. Merlin: [winding up the propeller of the model airplane, but not noticing his long beard getting caught in it] I am about to prove otherwise, Archimedes, if you care to watch. Here she goes! [tosses it out the window] No, no, no - NO! Archimedes: [laughs] Man will fly, all right! Just like a rock! [The model plane lands in the moat with a crash, and is sunken out of sight. He then laughs harder] Merlin: It would have worked if... if it weren't for this infernal beard! [Archimedes continues to laugh hysterically] Man will fly someday, I tell you guys! I have been

The Sword in the Stone (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Madam Mim: Sounds like someone's sick. How lovely. I do hope it's serious. Something dreadful. Oh, bat gizzards. It's nothing but a scrawny little sparrow with a beak full of soot. Arthur: Oh, I'm not really a sparrow, I'm a boy. Madam Mim: A boy?! Arthur: Merlin changed me with his magic. He's the world's most powerful wizard. Madam Mim: Merlin? [laughs] Oh, Merlin - the world's most powerful bungler! Why, boy, I've got more magic in one little finger! Now don't tell me you've never heard of the marvelous Madam Mim? Arthur: Well, no, I don't guess so. Archimedes: Madam Mim?! [flies off] Good heavens, good heavens, good heavens...! Madam Mim: Why, boy, I'm the greatest! I'm truly marvelous! [sings] With only a touch, I have the power, zim-zabberim-zim, to whither a flower! I find delight in the gruesome and grim! Arthur: Oh, that's terrible! Madam Mim: Thank you, my boy. But that's nothing, nothing to me. Because I'm the magnificent, marvelous, mad Madam Mim!

The Sword in the Stone (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Madam Mim: Say, lad, did you know that I can make myself uglier yet? Arthur: Well, that would be some trick - er, I-I-I mean, uh... Madam Mim: You want a bet? [hides her face in her hair, then pulls her hair away to reveal a sow's face] BOO! [Arthur jumps in fright] You see? I win, I win! Aren't I hideous, boy? Perfectly revolting? Arthur: Well, uh, yes, ma'am. Madam Mim: But, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Watch this. [presses her pig snout and turns into a beautiful, voluptuous wasp-waisted woman; sings] I can be beautiful, lovely and fair; Silvery voice, long purple hair; La-la-la-la; La-la-la-la-la; La-la-la-la-la-la; La-la-la-la-la-la-la; But, it's only skin deep, for zim-zaberim-ZIM! ["Beautiful" Mim yanks her long hair and explodes in a puff of yellow smoke, turning back into an old woman] I'M AN UGLY OLD CREEP!!! The magnificent, marvelous, mad, mad, mad, mad Madam Mim!

The Sword in the Stone (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Merlin: Mim! Mim! Wh-wh-what are you up to?! Madam Mim: Oh, uh, oh, M-Merlin! Well, you're just in time. We were playing a little game. Arthur: She was going to destroy me. Madam Mim: And just what are you gonna do about it? Want to fight?! Want to have a wizard's duel?! [slaps Merlin across the face provokingly] Merlin: [composing himself] As you wish, Madam. Madam Mim: Well, come on. Step outside! Merlin: After you, Madam. Archimedes: Wha-?! What's up, boy, what's going on? Arthur: They're having a wizard's duel. What's that mean? Archimedes: Oh, it's a battle of wits. The players change themselves into different things in an attempt to...to destroy one another. Arthur: D-D-Destroy? Archimedes: Just watch, boy, just watch. You'll get the idea. Madam Mim: Now! First of all, if you don't mind, I'll make the rules. Archimedes: Rules indeed! Gha ha ha! Why, she only wants rules so she can break them! Madam Mim: [to Archimedes] I'll take care of you later, featherbrain. [Archimedes huffs;

The Sword in the Stone (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Merlin: [nervously] Now, Mim! No dragons, remember? Madam Mim: Did I say no purple dragons? DID I?!

The Sword in the Stone (film), CC BY-SA 4.0