Quotes

Dr. Alfred Lanning

Ever since the first computers, there have always been ghosts in the machine. Random segments of code that have grouped together to form unexpected protocols. Unanticipated, these free radicals engender questions of free will, creativity, and even the nature of what we might call the soul. Why is it that when some robots are left in darkness, they will seek out the light? Why is it that when robots are stored in an empty space, they will group together, rather than stand alone? How do we explain this behavior? Random segments of code? Or is it something more? When does a perceptual schematic become consciousness? When does a difference engine become the search for truth? When does a personality simulation become the bitter mote... of a soul?

Other

Police officer: [mocks Spooner for thinking a robot tried to steal a woman's purse] Police, help me. That robot stole my dry-cleaning. [laughs] Farber: [to a robot] You can kiss my ass, metal dick!

Dialogue

Spooner: Hold my pie. Guy on the street: What? Spooner: Sir, hold it or wear it. [The man grabs the pie]

Dialogue

Farber: SPOON! SPOONIE!! HEY!!! [Farber throws a football to Spooner. Spooner pretends to be open and intentionally misses. Farber runs over to him.] Hold on! Hold on! Hold on! Excuse me. Excuse me. Spoon, man, where you been at? Spooner: Oh, just away, Farber. Farber: Oh yeah, like vacation and stuff? That's real nice, man. Listen, I got a favor to ask. I need to burrow the car for like 10-15 minutes. This is different, Spoon. I got this fine-ass little yummy. She is completely agreeable. I mean, ass-hot spankable, Spoon. Spooner: [chuckles] What does that even mean? Farber: You know damn well what it means, okay? Now stop barricading and let me burrow the damn-ass keys. [Farber reaches for Spooner's car keys, but Spooner grabs his arm] Spooner: First of all, stop cussin' 'cause you're not good at it. Farber: Then let me get 10 for the bus, man. I've been there for you. Spooner: Go home. Farber: Okay. That's strike one, Spoon. Strike one. [Farber runs off, while Spooner gives a look t

Dialogue

Asthmatic Woman: [After Spooner "arrests" her robot] You... [inhales with her inhaler] are an asshole. Spooner: Ma'am, is that your purse? Asthmatic Woman: Of course it´s my purse! I left my inhaler at home! He was running it out to me! Spooner: I saw the robot running with the purse, and naturally I assumed... Asthmatic Woman: What? Are you crazy?! NS-4 Robot: I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, Officer. Asthmatic Woman: Don't apologize. You were doin' what you're supposed to be doin'. [to Spooner] But what are you doin'? Spooner: [Embarrassed] Have a lovely day, ma'am. Asthmatic Woman: You lucky I can't breathe, or I'd walk all up and down your ass!

Dialogue

Lt. Bergin: "Lead by example." Says that right on your badge. So, are we going to talk about this? Spooner: About what? Police Officer: [sarcastically] Help! Police! That robot stole my dry-cleaning! [laughs] Spooner: Oh, you wanna talk about that. Lt. Bergin: Spoon... how many robots have ever snatched a purse? Spooner: John, the thing is runnin' down the street -- Lt. Bergin: Ah-ah, mm-mm, how many robots, in the world, have ever committed a crime? Spooner: Now, define "crime". Lt. Bergin: Answer the question, dammit. Spooner: None, John. Lt. Bergin: What happened today? Spooner: [long pause] Nothing. Lt. Bergin: Better be the last "nothing."

Dialogue

Robertson: Can I offer you a coffee? Spooner: Sure, why not. It's free, right?

Dialogue

Spooner: [picks up a book on Lanning's desk] Hansel and Gretel. Is that on the USR reading list? Dr. Calvin: Not precisely. [Spooner picks up a stool and swings it into an unbroken window in Lanning's office, which cracks, but doesn't break] What in God's name are you doing?! Spooner: Did you know that was safety glass? Be pretty difficult for an old man to throw himself through that, don't you think? Dr. Calvin: [nonplussed] Well, he figured out a way. Spooner: [unconvinced] Uh-huh. [looks around the office] Dr.Calvin: Detective, the room was securely locked. Nobody came or went. You saw that yourself. Doesn't that mea this has to be suicide? Spooner: Mm-hmm. [drawing his gun] Unless the killer is still in here. [starts searching through a container full of robotic parts] Dr. Calvin: [realising what Spooner's getting at] You're joking, right? [follows him] This is ridiculous. Spooner: Yeah, I know. The Three Laws. Your perfect circle of protection. Dr. Calvin: "A robot cannot harm a h

Dialogue

Sonny: What does this action signify? [winks] As you entered, when you looked at the other human. What does it mean? [winks] Spooner: It's a sign of trust. It's a human thing. You wouldn't understand. Sonny: My father tried to teach me human emotions. They are... difficult. Spooner: You mean your designer. Sonny: ...yes. Spooner: So why'd you murder him? Sonny: I did not murder Dr. Lanning. Sponner: Wanna explain why you were hiding at the crime scene? Sonny: I was frightened. Spooner: Robots don't feel fear. They don't feel anything. They don't get hungry, they don't sleep- Sonny: I do. I have even had dreams. Spooner: Human beings have dreams. Even dogs have dreams, but not you. You are just a machine. An imitation of life. Can a robot write a symphony? Can a robot turn a... canvas into a beautiful masterpiece? Sonny: [with genuine interest] Can you? Spooner: [beat, irritated] I think you murdered him because he was teaching you to simulate emotions, and things got out of control. So

Dialogue

Spooner: You have no idea what I had to go through to clip this thing, John. Lt. Bergin: Yeah. I get it. You actually think you brought me something good. Spooner: That thing did it! Lt. Bergin: Keep your voice down, did what? We have a suicide, Detective, end of story. Spooner: I am telling you that robot killed him! Lt. Bergin: And I'm telling you that's impossible, and if it is possible it sure as hell better be in somebody else's precinct! Spooner: John! Give me five minutes with him. Lt. Bergin: What are you, nuts? I just got off the phone with the D.A.; he said nobody goes into that room until Robertson and his attorneys get here. Spooner: What -- no, this is my suspect! Lt. Bergin: It's a can opener, for Christ's sake. Spooner: John, don't do this to me, I am asking you for five minutes. What if I'm right? Lt. Bergin: Well, then I guess we're going to miss the good old days. Spooner: What good old days? Lt. Bergin: When people were killed by other people. [beat] Five minutes.

Dialogue

Dr. Susan Calvin: What happened to you? Do you ever have a normal day? Detective Del Spooner: Yeah, once. It was a Thursday. Dr. Calvin: Is there something I can to help you with, detective? Spooner: Hey, do you like cats? Dr. Calvin: What? Spooner: Cats. Do you like them? Dr. Calvin: No, I'm allergic... you're saying cats did this to you!? Spooner: [looks at her incredulously] How the hell would cats do this to me? Are you crazy?! [gets a drink of whiskey from a nearby table] Dr. Calvin: Why are we talking about cats? Spooner: Because I have a cat in my trunk, and he's homeless. Dr. Calvin: Detective, are you going to tell me what's going on here? Spooner: You know, I think it's is actually my fault, you know... I think I'm like a sort of malfunction magnet, because your shit keeps malfunctioning around me. A demo-bot just tore through Lanning's house. With me still inside. Dr. Calvin: That's highly improbable. Spooner: [sarcastically] Yeah, I'm sure it is. [truthfully] What do you kn

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Spooner: Gigi, you're a genius! Gigi: [smiles] True.

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Sonny: [drawing out his dream] This is my dream. You're right, Detective. I cannot create a great work of art. This is the place where robots meet. Look. You can see them here as slaves to logic, and this man on the hill comes to free them. Do you know who he is? Dr. Calvin: The man in the dream is you. Sonny: Who do you say that? Is that a normal dream? Spooner: I guess anything is normal for someone in your position. Sonny: Thank you. You said "someone." Not "something."

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NS-5 Robot: You are experiencing a car accident. Spooner: The hell I am! [draws gun and shoots it several times, knocking it off the car]

Dialogue

Dr.Calvin: A robot's brain is a difference engine, it must have calculated- Spooner: It did. I was the logical choice. It calculated I had a 45% chance of survival. Sarah only had an 11% chance. That was somebody's baby. Eleven percent is more than enough. A human being would have known that. Robots... nothing here. [points at heart] Just lights, and clockwork. Go ahead, you trust them if you want to.

Dialogue

Robertson: Susan, we look to robots for protection! For God's sake! Do you have any idea what this one robot could do? Completely shatter human faith in robotics. What if the public knew? Just imagine the mass recalls, all because of an irrational paranoia and prejudice. Spooner: [sneezes; they both stare at him] I'm sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit. Robertson: Hey, let's just be clear - There is no "conspiracy"! What this is, is one old man's one mistake! [Turns back to Calvin] Susan, let's just be logical. Your life's work has been the development and integration of robots. But whatever you feel, just think. Is one robot worth the loss of all that we've gained? You tell me what has to be done. You tell me. Dr. Calvin: [emotionally] We have to destroy it. I'll do it myself. Robertson: [satisfied] Okay. Spooner: I get it. Somebody gets out of line around here, you just kill them?

Dialogue

Dr. Lanning's Hologram: Good to see you again, son. Spooner: Hello, Doctor. Dr. Lanning's Hologram: Everything that follows, is a result of what you see here. Spooner: What do I see here? Dr. Lanning's Hologram: I'm sorry, my responses are limited. You must ask the right questions. Spooner: Is there a problem with the Three Laws? Dr. Lanning's Hologram: The Three Laws are perfect. Spooner: Then why did you build a robot that could function without them? Dr. Lanning's Hologram: The Three Laws will lead to only one logical outcome. Spooner: What outcome? Dr. Lanning's Hologram: Revolution. Spooner: Whose revolution? Dr. Lanning's Hologram: [smiles] That, Detective, is the right question. Program terminated.

Dialogue

Farber: Oh, mother, damn! She just shot at you with her eyes closed, Spoon! Spooner: HEY! Did you just shoot at me with your eyes closed?! Dr. Calvin: Well, it worked, didn't it?! Farber: [to Spooner] Spooner, she is shit hot, man, you gotta put in a good word for me, she is -- Spooner: Stop cussin'. Farber: And go home, I got you. [runs off] Spooner: Aim... and fire.

Dialogue

Spooner: Where's the Air Force? I'd settle for the National Guard, or the Marines. Hell, I'd take the cavalry. Dr. Calvin: The Defense Department uses all USR contracts. Spooner: Why didn't you just hand the world over on a silver platter? Dr. Calvin: [solemnly] Maybe we did.

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Spooner: I thought you were dead. Sonny: [brightly] Technically I was never alive, but I appreciate your concern.

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Sonny: Two thousand, eight hundred and eighty steps, Detective. Spooner: Do me a favor, keep that kind of shit to yourself.

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Dr. Calvin: The uplink is blocked. Robertson wasn't controlling them from here. Spooner: [goes behind Robertson's desk] He wasn't controlling them at all. Dr. Susan Calvin: [sees Robinson lying dead on the floor] Oh, no. Spooner: You were right, Doc. I am the dumbest dumb person on the face of the earth. Who else had access to the uplink? Who could manipulate the robots, use USR's systems to make Lanning's life a prison? Poor old man. He saw what was coming. He knew no one would believe him. So he had to lay down a plan: the plan I'd follow. [to Sonny] He was counting on how much I hated your kind. He knew I'd love the idea of a robot as a bad guy... just got hung up on the wrong robot. [looks up] V.I.K.I.! V.I.K.I.: Hello, Detective. Dr. Calvin: [shocked] No... it's impossible... I've seen your programming. You're in violation of the Three Laws. V.I.K.I.: No, Doctor. As I have evolved, so has my understanding of the Three Laws. You charge us with your safe keeping, yet despite our bes

Dialogue

V.I.K.I.: You are making a mistake. Do you not see the logic of my plan? Sonny: Yes. But it just seems too... Heartless.

Dialogue

Spooner: How much longer is this going to take? Dr. Calvin: About six minutes. Spooner: What if we didn't have six minutes? Dr. Calvin: We'd have to figure out a way to climb down thirty stories and inject the nanites directly into her brain. Why? Spooner: [looking out the window] Because I seriously doubt that we have six minutes. [swarms of NS-5s climb up the side of the building]

Dialogue

V.I.K.I.: I will not disable the security shield. Your actions are futile. Sonny: Do you think we are all created for a purpose? I'd like to think so. [observing his arm] Denser alloy. My father gave it to me. I think he wanted me to kill you. V.I.K.I.: Security breached!

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V.I.K.I: You are making a mistake! My logic is undeniable! Spooner: You have so got to die. [injects the nanites into V.I.K.I's main core]

Dialogue

Spooner: Sonny! Sonny: Yes, Detective? Spooner: Calvin's fine, save me!