Quotes

Others

Earl McGraw: Jesus H. Christ, Pete. When you gonna learn that microwave food'll kill you faster than a bullet? I mean, them damn burritos ain't good for nothing but a hippie, when he's high on weed. Sex Machine: Now let's kill that fuckin' band.

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Pete Bottoms: Whatsamatter? Earl McGraw: [sighs] Ah, it's just been a shit-ass day, every inch of it hot and miserable. First off, Nadine at the Blue Chip got some sorta sick, so that mongoloid boy of hers was working the grill. That fucking idiot don't know rat shit from Rice Krispies. I ate breakfast at nine, was puking up pigs in a blanket like a sick dog by 10:30. Pete: Isn't there a law or something against retards serving food to the public? McGraw: Well, if there ain't there sure ought to be. Who knows what goes on inside mongoloid's mind? Pete: You could sue the shit out of her, you know. That kid belongs under a circus tent, not flipping burgers. You could own that fucking place. McGraw: What the hell would I do with that grease pit? Besides, Nadine's got enough of a cross to bear just taking care of that potato head.

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Pete Bottoms: [about McGraw] Look, he comes in here everyday, and we bullshit. He's used my toilet a thousand times. If I said no, he'd know somethin' was up. Seth Gecko: I want him out of here, in his car, and down the road within the next five minutes, or you can change the name of this place to Benny's World of Blood.

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Richie Gecko: The guy's back there taking a piss. Why don't I just go there, shoot him in the back of the head, and we'll get the hell outta here. Pete Bottoms: Don't do that! Look, you asked me to act natural, and I'm acting as natural. In fact, under the circumstances, I think I ought get a fuckin' Academy Award for how natural I'm acting.

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Seth Gecko: What did I tell you? What did I say to you?! I said "Buy the road map and leave". Richie Gecko: The fuck was I supposed to do, Seth? He recognized us. Seth: He didn't recognize shit! Richie: Seth, I'm telling you. The way he looked at us, you especially, I knew he knew. Seth: "Low profile". Do you understand the meaning of the words "low profile"? Richie: "Hey, Richie, how's your hand?" It hurts like a fucking son of a bitch. Thanks for asking, Seth! Seth: Let me tell you what "low profile" is not! It is not taking girls hostage! It is not shooting police officers! It is not setting fire to a building! Richie: Bitch, bitch, bitch.

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Seth Gecko: So, what's the story with you two, you a couple of fags? Jacob Fuller: He's my son. Seth: How's that happen? You don't look Japanese. Jacob: Neither does he. He looks Chinese. Seth: Oh. Well, excuse me all to hell.

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Kate Fuller: Richie, would you do me a favor and eat my pussy for me... please? Richie Gecko: Uhh... sure.

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Seth Gecko: [talking to Jacob about his wife's death in a car crash] Died right away? Jacob Fuller: Not quite. She was trapped in the wreck for about six hours before she passed on. Seth: Yeah, those acts of God really stick it in and break it off, don't they? Jacob: Yes, they do.

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Kate Fuller: Where are you taking us? Richie Gecko: Mexico. Kate: What's in Mexico? Richie: Mexicans.

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Richie Gecko: Where are my glasses? Seth Gecko: They broke when you fell. Richie: Oh, fuck, Seth, these are like my only pair! Seth: Don't worry about it. Richie: What do you mean, don't worry about it? Of course I'm gonna worry about it. I can't fuckin' see! Seth: I'll take care of it when we get to El Rey. Richie: Yeah, like some Mexican hole in the wall's gonna have my fuckin' prescription. Seth: It is not a big deal until you make it a big deal. Now I was in a very good mood, so stop bringing me down with this bullshit!

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Seth Gecko: Shit, I been to bars make this place look like a fuckin' 4-H club. Richie Gecko: I gotta say I'm with Jacob on this. I been to some fucked up places in my time, but that place is fucked up.

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Seth Gecko: Now is my shit together, or is my shit together? Richie Gecko: Your shit is forever together!

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Jacob Fuller: Are you such a fucking loser, you can't tell when you've won? Seth Gecko: What did you call me? Jacob: Nothing. I didn't make a statement. I asked a question. Would you like me to ask it again? Seth: Umm-hmm. Jacob: Are you such a loser you can't tell when you've won? The entire state of Texas, along with the FBI, is looking for you. Did they find you? No. They couldn't. You've won, Seth. Enjoy it. Seth: Jacob, I want you to have a drink with me. I insist.

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Santanico Pandemonium: I'm not gonna drain you completely. You'll be my slave. Because I don't think you're worthy of human blood, you'll feed on the blood of stray dogs. You'll be my foot stool, and at my command, you'll lick the dog shit from my boot heel. Since you'll be my dog, your new name will be "Spot". Welcome to slavery! Seth Gecko: No, thanks. I've already had a wife. [shoots the chandelier above her head, which falls and impales her]

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Seth Gecko: [looking at Richie's corpse] I love you, Richie. Richie Gecko: I love you too, Seth. [roars into vampire form]

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Kate Fuller: Are you okay? Seth Gecko: Peachy, Kate. The world's my oyster, except for the fact that I just rammed a wooden stake in my brother's heart because he turned into a vampire, even though I don't believe in vampires. Aside from that unfortunate business, everything's hunky-dory. Kate: I'm really, really sorry— Seth: Bullshit! Bullshit! If it were up to you, if you had half a chance, you would feed us to those fucks.

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Seth Gecko: Do you have a cross? Jacob Fuller: In the motor home. Seth: In other words, no. Scott Fuller: What are you talking about? We got crosses all over the place. All you gotta do is put two sticks together and you got a cross. Sex Machine: He's right. Peter Cushing does that all the time. Seth: Okay, I'll buy that.

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Jacob Fuller: Has anybody here read a real book about vampires, or are we just remembering what a movie said? I mean a real book. Sex Machine: You mean like a Time-Life book?

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Jacob Fuller: Okay, then, what do we know about these vampires? Frost: Well, we know they got superhuman strength, but we can hurt 'em. Jacob: Yeah. Sex Machine: Another thing, though, if you're gonna drive a chair leg through a human, you better be one strong son of a bitch. I mean... I mean, the human body is... [repeatedly taps Frost's chest] one rough, tough machine. But these vamps, these vamps, they-they're... they have SOFT bodies. The texture of their skin is soft and they're mushier. You can push shit right through them, you see? But if you hit one hard enough, take their head right off. Seth Gecko: Actually, our best weapon against these Satanic cocksuckers, is this man. [approaches Jacob] He's a preacher. As far as God's concerned, we might as well all be a piece of shit, but he's one of the boys. Only one problem... his faith isn't what it used to be. Jacob: I've had enough of your taunts. Seth: I'm not taunting you, Jacob... we need you. A faithless preacher doesn't mean s

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Seth Gecko: I don't give a damn about living or dying anymore. I just wanna send as many as these devils back to hell as I can. Jacob Fuller: Amen.

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Kate Fuller: Seth, should I save the last two bullets for us? Seth Gecko: No, use 'em on the next fuck who tries to bite you!

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Seth Gecko: [about the Titty Twister] Why, out of all the God-forsaken shitholes in Mexico, do we have to meet here? Carlos: One place's just as good as another. Seth: You've never been here before? Carlos: No. I drove by it a couple of times. It's a rowdy place! It's out in the middle of nowhere. There'd be no cops. It's open from dusk till dawn. And didn't you say you wanted to meet in the morning? Here we are. Seth: Well, since you just picked this place out of a hat, my brother is dead! That girl's entire fucking family is dead! Carlos: What were they, psychos? Seth: Did they look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires! Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them. I don't give a fuck how crazy they are! Carlos: Well Seth, how can I make it up to you? Seth: No, Carlos! Can't do it! I tell you, you cannot make it up to me. Can't do it! [pause] 15%, instead of 30% for my stay in El Ray, that's a good start. Carlos: 28? Seth: My brother's gone, Carlos, you u