Lucifer

Traffic Cop: You know why I pulled you over? Lucifer Morningstar: Well, obviously you felt the need to exercise your limited powers and punish me for ignoring the speed limit. It's okay, I understand. It's…I…I like to punish people too. Or, at least I used to.

Lucifer (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Lucifer: Oh Amenadiel, how's it hanging big guy? huh? Amenadiel: Your return to the underworld has been requested. Lucifer: Oh, right. Okay. Let me just, uh…check my calendar. Yeah, here it is. Uh…the 7th of Never through to the 15th of Ain't Gonna Happen. How's that work for you guys? Ah, look…remind Dad that I quit Hell because I was sick and tired of playing a part in His play. Amenadiel: I'm gonna warn you against disrespecting our Father, Lucifer. Lucifer: Yeah, well, our Father's been disrespecting me since the beginning of time, so pot-kettle, don't you think? Amenadiel: You…are a mockery of everything divine. Lucifer: Thank you. Thank you but, lately I've been doing a fair amount of thinking, now do you think I'm the devil because I'm inherently evil just because dear old Dad decided I was? Amenadiel: What exactly do you think happens when the devil leaves Hell? All of those demons, all of those tormented and tortured souls, where do you think they go? Lucifer: Don't know, don'

Lucifer (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Chloe Decker: "Lucifer Morningstar." What, is that like a stage name or something? Lucifer: God given, I'm afraid.

Lucifer (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Chloe: Why don't you tell me something? How did she end up dying in a hailstorm of bullets and you get away without a scratch? I think that's interesting, don't you? Lucifer: The benefits of immortality. Chloe: Immortality? Mm. Of course. Uh…you spell that with one or two "m"s? I always forget.

Lucifer (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

2Vile: You have a problem with black people? Lucifer: No, not in the slightest. I just hate your music. And when I say your music, I mean your music, not the music made by other black people. Without the blues, there would be no Devil's music whatsoever. There are of course many giants in the field. Just not you. Am I being clear?

Lucifer (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Trixie: My name's Beatrice but everybody calls me Trixie. Lucifer: That's a hooker's name. Trixie: What's a hooker? Lucifer: Ask your mother.

Lucifer (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0