Fight Club

Narrator: When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just … Marla Singer: … instead of just waiting for their turn to speak? Narrator: Yeah. Yeah.

Fight Club (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Narrator: ...What? Tyler Durden: I want you to hit me, as hard as you can.

Fight Club (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Narrator: A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one. Woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents? Narrator: You wouldn't believe. Woman on plane: Which car company do you work for? Narrator: A major one.

Fight Club (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Narrator: Was it ticking? Airport Security Officer: Actually, throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick. Narrator: Sorry, throwers? Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police. Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating? Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor. But … every once in a while [looks around, leans in conspiratorially] … it's a dildo. [leans back] Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, "a dildo", never … your dildo. Narrator: I don't own a dildo!

Fight Club (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Narrator: Let me tell you a little bit about Tyler Durden. Tyler was a night person. While the rest of us were sleeping, he worked. He had one part time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come all on one big reel. It comes on a few. So someone has to be there to switch the projectors at the exact moment that one reel ends and the next one begins. If you look for it, you can see these little dots come into the upper right-hand corner of the screen. Tyler Durden: In the industry, we call them cigarette burns. Narrator: That's the cue for a changeover. He flips the projectors, the movie keeps right on going, and nobody in the audience has any idea. Tyler Durden: And why would anyone want this shit job? Narrator: Because it affords him other interesting opportunities. Tyler Durden: Like splicing single frames of pornography into family films. Narrator: So when the snooty cat and the courageous dog with the celebrity voices meet for the first time in reel three, that's when you'll

Fight Club (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Tyler Durden: Right. We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra. Narrator: Martha Stewart. Tyler Durden: Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may. But that's me, and I could be wrong. Maybe it’s a terrible tragedy.

Fight Club (film), CC BY-SA 4.0