Quotes

Dialogue

Borat: This-a my wife Oksana. She is-a boring. Oksana: What did you say about me, you skinny piece of shit? Borat: Please, not now. Oksana: Why don't you do something useful and dig your mother a grave?

Dialogue

Borat: Look, there is woman in car. Can we follow her, get her and maybe have sexy time with her? Driving instructor: No! No, you cannot do that. Borat: Why not? Driving instructor: Because a woman has the right to choose who she has sex with. Borat: [incredously] What!? Driving instructor: Yeah, how about that? Borat: You joke, right? Driving instructor: No, there must be consent. Borat: Ha-ha-ha! Driving instructor: That good, huh? Borat: Not good for me. Borat: My wife make this cheese. Bob Barr: It's very nice. Borat: She make it from milk from her tits.

Dialogue

Borat: What is a 'not' jokes? Pat Haggerty: A 'not' joke is when we're trying to make fun of something and what we do is, we make a statement that we pretend is true but at the end, we say 'not,' which means it's not true. Borat: So teach me how to make one. Pat Haggerty: Alright. What color is your suit? Borat: This suit is gray. Pat Haggerty: Gray. I would call it blue, okay? 'Borat: It's gray. Pat Haggerty: Alright, it's blue-gray. But it... Borat: Well, it's more gray. Pat Haggerty: It's certainly not black, right? Alright, let's say it's gray. But it's not... Borat: It is gray. Pat Haggerty: Okay, so a 'not' joke, I would say, 'That suit is black. Not!' Borat: This-a suit is NOT BLACK! Pat Haggerty: No, no, 'not' has to be at the end. Borat: Oh, okay. Pat Haggerty: Okay. Borat: This suit is black not. Pat Haggerty: This suit is black. Pause. You know what a pause is? Borat: Yes. Pat Haggerty: This suit is black. Not! Borat: This suit is black, pause, not. Pat Haggerty: No, you don

Dialogue

Hotel Employee: Mr. Sagdiyev? Borat: Yes? Hotel Employee: I have a telegram for you. Borat: You can read? Hotel Employee: Yes, I can. "Dear Borat Sagdiyev, your wife Oksana was walking your retarded Bilo in the woods, when a bear attacked and violated and break her. She is now dead." Borat: You say my wife is dead? Hotel Employee: This is what it's... Yes, sir. I'm sorry to inform you, but that's what the telegram says. Borat: High five! Great!

Dialogue

Borat: What's up with it, Vanilla Face? Me and my homie, Azamat, just parked our slab outside. [the receptionist goes to call security] We're looking for somewhere to post up our black asses for the night. So, uh, bang, bang, skeet, skeet, nigga. [security arrives] We're just a couple of pimps, no hos. Guard: Sir, sir, you gotta leave. Borat: Okay... Guard: Either leave now, or we're gonna call the cops, and we'll have you taken out. Borat: [as he and Azamat drive away] We can't stay here. They are "player haters."

Dialogue

Jewish Man: Hi. Borat: Thank you. You have room for tonight? Jewish Man: Oh, yes. Yes, definitely. Come on in. Jewish Woman: So, come on in. Your friend, also. Borat: Oh, beautiful house. Jewish Woman: All the paintings in the house, I did. Borat: [looking at one of the paintings] What is this man? Jewish Woman: This is a Yemenite Jew, and he's working on a piece of jewelry. The Yemenites were also jewelers. Borat: Why you have a picture of a Jew? Jewish Woman: Because I'm Jewish, so I have lots of pictures of Jews. Jewish Woman: This is the room, and, uh, do you need two pillows? Borat: Great, thank you. Lovely place. [closes the door and whispers to Azamat] They're Jews. Azamat: I know that now. They'll kill us. We need to escape.

Dialogue

Borat: It is 3:00 in the morning. I am in the nest of Jews. They have cleverly shifted their shapes; one of them has taken the form of a little old woman. You can barely see her horns. She have tried to poison me already. These rats are very clever. [hears a noise and turns on the light. He and Azamat see two cockroaches crawling under their bedroom door.] Azamat: Look! The Jews have shifted their shapes! Borat: [grabs a wad of cash] Oh God, how much shall I give them? Azamat: [panicking] I don't know! [Borat throws a dollar bill at the cockroaches] More! Give them more than that! [Borat throws more dollar bills at them] It's not working! Run! Run!

Dialogue

Borat: I want to say I very sorry how they treat you at this house. Luenell: Thank you. I was thinkin' maybe I'd just take the night off and... Why don't we just go out and have some fun? What do you think about that? Borat: [to Azamat] You want to come with us? Azamat: Up yours!

Dialogue

Borat: YOU BASTARD!! Azamat: What's the matter with you?! Borat: [puts the magazine away and tackles Azamat] How dare you make hand-party over Pamela! Azamat: Why do you care who I pleasure myself to?! Borat: Because I love this woman! She's the reason we travel to California! Azamat: WHAT?!?! YOU LIED TO ME! You lied about California! Azamat: [throws Borat on the bed and jumps on top of him] EAT MY ASSHOLE! Banquet Host: We have a special guest here this evening. Uh, Ruth Feiner is here... Guard: Get the fuck out of here!