The Monster Squad

Sean: Wolf Man can not drive a car. Patrick: Yes, he can. Sean: No, he can't. Patrick: Yes, he can; look, all I'm saying is, Sean, he could if he had to. Sean: He could not! You're being such a dork! Patrick: I know you are, but what am I? Sean: A dork. Patrick: I know you are, but what am I? Sean: [sees his younger sister Phoebe approach and eventually join them] Oh great, Phoebe. [Then, to Patrick once again] A dork. Patrick: I know you are, but what am I? Sean: A dork. Patrick: I know you are, but what am I? Sean: [annoyed] Infinity! Look, Wolf Man doesn't go to work. He's not like a guy. Patrick: What're you talking about? He walks around, he wears pants. Sean: He had to wear pants, those movies were made in the Forties! He had to wear 'em so you wouldn't see his......wolf dork! [He and Phoebe walk on ahead] Patrick: [comes to a complete halt and lifts his sunglasses to stare at Sean in disbelief. Then, incredulously...] "Wolf dork"?!

The Monster Squad, CC BY-SA 4.0

Patrick: [about Scary German Guy] Maybe he's a German spy. Sean: Oh good one! We're not at war with Germany anymore. Phoebe: We're at war with Vietnam. Sean: What? Phoebe: It's in Rambo! Horace: You guys, guess what happened! Sean: [collects himself] Whoa, Fat Kid... Horace: Rudy saved my life! Do you think we can talk him into joining the monster club? Can we? Sean: Huddle. Patrick: Sean, he's in junior high. Phoebe: I heard he killed his dad. Horace: Get outta here, "Phoebe the Feeb"! Sean: We should let him in on one condition... Sean/Patrick/Horace: [in unison] Monster test.

The Monster Squad, CC BY-SA 4.0

Scary German Guy: [as Sean, Patrick, and Horace are leaving Scary German Guy's house] I expect you boys thought I was some kind of monster myself, mm? A vampire, perhaps? That's quite all right. But I am not, you know. If I were a vampire, then I wouldn't have a reflection... [points to mirror, where he is clearly visible] ... now would I? Horace: Man, you sure know a lot about monsters. Scary German Guy: Now that you mention it, I suppose I do. [Scary German Guy closes door, revealing a concentration camp tattoo on his wrist]

The Monster Squad, CC BY-SA 4.0

Sean: [To Horace] Kick him in the nards! Horace: What?! Sean: KICK HIM IN THE NARDS! Horace: He doesn't have nards! Sean: [frantically] Do it, DO IT!!! Horace: [awestruck] Wolf Man's got nards!

The Monster Squad, CC BY-SA 4.0

E.J.: Hey, Fat Kid! Good job! Horace: My name...Is Horace! [cocks shotgun]

The Monster Squad, CC BY-SA 4.0