Stealing Harvard

Duff's Mom: Hi John how's your parents? John: Dead, still.

Stealing Harvard, CC BY-SA 4.0

Duff: We should make up some fake names. John: Why? Duff: Just in case we have to communicate while we're inside. John: OK. Duff: I wanna be Kyle. I knew this guy at camp. He was maybe 13. He got two girls pregnant, man. Two girls pregnant. Yea, Kyle. Who you gonna be? John: Steve... Duff: Steve. John: Yeah. Duff: Okay, Steve. John: Okay, Kyle. [Continues walking with Duff] Duff: Wait. John: What? Duff: I wanna change. I wanna be Steve. John: I'm Steve; You're Karl. Duff: Kyle!

Stealing Harvard, CC BY-SA 4.0

Duff: Maybe we can use slingshots to rob the place. John: A slingshot is not a real weapon, Duff. Duff: Oh, yeah? Well maybe you'd like to define the word "weapon' for me while this plastic doll smashes into your temple at 180 miles per hour.

Stealing Harvard, CC BY-SA 4.0

Elaine: [Whispers] He's an asshole. Duff: Mmm... casserole. Elaine: I said asshole. Duff: I heard casserole!

Stealing Harvard, CC BY-SA 4.0

John: Dave! John Plummer. Remember? You used to call me "asshole"? David Loach: I call everybody "asshole." John: Yes, but I believe I was the first. We were five, maybe six at the time? David Loach: Congratulations, asshole. Now get to the point.

Stealing Harvard, CC BY-SA 4.0

John: [Coming out of his house] Why didn't you just ring the door bell? Duff: [Whispering] I didn't wanna wake Elaine.

Stealing Harvard, CC BY-SA 4.0