You're the Worst

Killian: Hi. Jimmy: What? Killian: I just moved in... over there. Jimmy: Of course you did. Killian: Why do you say that? Jimmy: Because the death of any interesting neighborhood is the influx of white procreators. Killian: Oh, that's cool. My nutritionist is gay, too. Jimmy: I'm not gay. I'm English. Killian: You want to hang out sometime? Jimmy: What? What are you even talking about? I'm an adult. Do you know what that means? [pause] It means that I am beset upon at all times by a tsunami of complex thoughts and struggles, unceasingly aware of my own mortality and able to contemplate the futility of everything and yet still rage against the dying of the light. [pause] So do you see how monumentally stupid you, a child, asking me "do I want to hang out sometime" is? Killian: My dad designs video games. We get all the new ones early. Jimmy: Come over around 8:00.

You're the Worst, CC BY-SA 4.0

Gretchen: You just spit on it? Jimmy: Yeah. Gretchen: You just spit on my vagina. Jimmy: So? Gretchen: Don't! Jimmy: Why? Gretchen: Why don't spit on my vagina? Jimmy: It's saliva. It's gonna get there anyway.

You're the Worst, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jimmy: [watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off] This movie has one of the greatest villains of all time. Edgar: Yeah. Principal Rooney is so mean. Jimmy: Rooney? Rooney's not the villain. Edgar: Oh, you mean the sister, that girl from... Jimmy/Edgar: ...Dirty Dancing/Wind. Jimmy: Okay, first of all, Wind is what you retained from Jennifer Grey's career? And no, she's not the villain either. Edgar: Then who is? Jimmy: Cameron. Edgar: Cameron? No. Cameron's his best friend, Cameron's his sidekick. Jimmy: Edgar, I think I know a little something about Campbellian storytelling. Ferris is the hero, Jennifer Grey is the foil, Principal Rooney is the fool, Sloane is the sidekick, Cameron's the villain. Edgar: Wait, how is Cameron the villain? Jimmy: Ferris just wants to show Cameron a fun day for once in his pathetic little life, but Cameron acts like a whiny knob the whole time, subverting every attempt at fun with his passive-aggressive anxiety and relentless nay-saying, essentially ruining what

You're the Worst, CC BY-SA 4.0

Well, as my grandma used to say, it's only a walk of shame if you're capable of feeling shame. See you later. Thanks for doing all the sex stuff on me.

You're the Worst, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jimmy: Sitting is definitely in my top 5 favorite activities. Gretchen: What are the others? Jimmy: Eating things. Shutting stupid people down verbally. Bubble baths. Masturbating.

You're the Worst, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jimmy: Day drinking's the best. Gretchen: Day drinking is the best! Aren't we lucky we're both in professions where we can day drink? Jimmy: Are you in a profession where you can day drink? Gretchen: They all are if you want it bad enough.

You're the Worst, CC BY-SA 4.0