Soapdish

Celeste Talbert: [accepting an award] Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"... Ariel Maloney: Bitch! David Barnes: Hag! Montana Moorehead: I hate her so much!

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Lori Craven: Hi. Uh, I'm Lori Craven and... I'm an actress. Betsy Faye Sharon: An actress! Really! How nice for you! I'm Betsy Faye Sharon and I'm a bitch. Now get out of here.

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Edmund Edwards: [about Lori] She's been through hell, and we're her family. So in this crisis, we have to support her. Rose Schwartz: Yeah. Edmund Edwards: We have to love her. Rose Schwartz: Mmm. Edmund Edwards: We have to care about her. Rose Schwartz: Mmm. Edmund Edwards: And we have to milk it for every drop of publicity we can get.

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Betsy Faye Sharon: Very, very good, Mark. And very true. I love what you're doing. I just, I think if we could try it one more time, and this time... I don't know... maybe try one without your shirt. Mark: Sure. Mark: "Will you be having wine with dinner?" Betsy Faye Sharon: [lustily] I think we've found our waiter!

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Ariel Maloney: New boy in town? Jeffrey Anderson: Just got off the choo-choo... you have beautiful eyes. Ariel Maloney: They're nothing compared to my tits! You should come up and see them sometime.

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Jeffrey Anderson: Of course I can kiss her! Lori Craven: This is ridiculous! I can kiss who I want! Celeste Talbert: No! You can't! You can't kiss her! Jeffrey Anderson: Why because she's your niece? Celeste Talbert: [shouts] No, you nitwit! Because she's my daughter! And your daughter. Lori Craven: What? Jeffrey Anderson: What are you talking about? Celeste Talbert: We're her parents! You and I! [sobbing] We're her Mommy and her Daddy.

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