Muppet Treasure Island

Mr. Arrow: Roll call! [reads from list] Long John Silver? Long John Silver: Aye aye, sir! Mr. Arrow: Short Stack Stevens? Short Stack Stevens: Aye! Mr. Arrow: One-Eyed Jack? One-Eyed Jack: Aye. Mr. Arrow: Black Eye Pete? Black Eye Pete: Yeah. Mr. Arrow: Walleyed Pike? Walleyed Pike: Aye. Mr. Arrow: Polly Lobster? Polly Lobster: (Squawks and whistles) Mr. Arrow: Mad Monty? Mad Monty: Aye. Mr. Arrow: Sweetums? Sweetums: [from behind them] AYE. Mr. Arrow: ...Old Tom? Old Tom: Aye aye. Mr. Arrow: Real Old Tom? Real Old Tom: Aye! Mr. Arrow: Dead Tom? Dead Tom: Aye aye!! Gonzo: Cool. Mr. Arrow: Clueless Morgan? Clueless Morgan: Huh? Mr. Arrow: Headless Bill? [no response] Headless Bill? [leans to the side and sees a headless puppet saluting in acknowledgment] Big-Fat-Ugly-Bug-Face-Baby-Eating O'Brien? O'Brien: [in her deep voice] Aye. Mr. Arrow: [stands in aghast momentarily before reading off the final name] Angel Marie? Angel Marie: [in his deep voice] Aye, aye. Captain Smollett: Hmm...hmm

Muppet Treasure Island, CC BY-SA 4.0

Captain Smollett: Here's the plan. Once the pirates are ashore, we take the Hispaniola back to Bristol, and leave them stranded on Treasure Island. Doctor: Excellent plan. Rizzo: Except for one thing: the pirates have Jim!

Muppet Treasure Island, CC BY-SA 4.0

Rizzo: Terrific. Captured by crazed wild pigs and sacrificed hideously before a pagan altar. Gonzo: Are we lucky or what? Trelawney: Probably not lucky. I'm starting to worry about those storm clouds! Benjamina Gunn: Next time, Kermie and I are going to find that below deck instead of that drenching Crow's Nest. [Rizzo whimpers before screaming and grabbing Miss Piggy's hand heading to the Crow's Nest] Hey! Let go you no good big beluga!

Muppet Treasure Island, CC BY-SA 4.0

Benjamina Gunn: Of all the backwater, no-class piles of sand in the ocean, you had to wash up on mine! Captain Smollett: Benjamina, I just want you to know that I'm sorry. Benjamina Gunn: Sorry? No, no; "Sorry" doesn't cut it. You left me standing at the altar! Captain Smollett: I was on a ship headed for Zanzibar. I got cold feet. Benjamina Gunn: You're a frog. You're supposed to have cold feet! My mother came all the way from France. I was wearing her white lace dress. The cake was filled with lemon custard! Captain Smollett: Benjamina, fate has brought us together again. Well, actually, buried treasure and pirates brought us together-- Benjamina Gunn: Don't you start with me about pirates! After you jilted me, I took up with this Bernie Flint. The man was totally co-dependent. Captain Smollett: You and Captain Flint? Benjamina Gunn: Well, he was a pirate, I was a lady, you know the story. Smollett? He marooned me! Me! [sobs] Oh, what have I done?! Captain Smollett: Oh, this it all m

Muppet Treasure Island, CC BY-SA 4.0

Long John Silver: Excuse me? Benjammina Gunn: [also appears] Going somewhere, John-John? Long John Silver: Well, Master Hawkins, it seems your little family has come together against me.

Muppet Treasure Island, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jim Hawkins: Silver! Long John Silver: I suppose you'll be blowing the whistle on me now, won't you, Jim? Jim Hawkins: I suppose I will. You have to return to Bristol to stand trial. [raising his whistle] Long John Silver: Oh, I'm sorry, Jim. [aims his pistol at him] I got a terrible fear of hanging. We're shipmates, aren't we, Jim? Gentlemen of fortune, together. Give us one more chance? [Jim does not drop his whistle. After a long pause, he lowers his pistol; changing his heart] Oh, hell, Jim. I could never harm you. You're honest and brave and true. You didn't learn that from me. Jim Hawkins: I learned it from my friends, Mr. Silver. Now take your oars and row away. I never want to see you again, ever. Long John Silver: [begins to row away, but stops] Oh, Jim? [throws Jim back his compass and rows off] 'Tis a shame, really. We'd have made a great team, Jim.

Muppet Treasure Island, CC BY-SA 4.0