Madagascar

Alex: [first lines] Surprise! Marty: [screams, slips from treadmill, tumbles and hits into a fence] Alex! Do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming! When a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone. Alex: Come on, Marty. Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday! Marty: [chuckles] Hey, man, thanks! Alex: [expresses pain on the right side of his jaw] Oh! Ah! Oh! Hey, um... I got s – I got something stuck in my teeth. It's driving me crazy! Can you help me out here? Please? Marty: Ah! You came to the right place, my friend. Doctor Marty, D.D.S., is in the house! Please hop on top of my sterilized examination table, if you may. [Alex opens the mouth but can't see anything because it's dark] I don't see anything. Alex: [muffled] It's on the left. Marty: Ow! Alex: [muffled] Oh, sorry. Marty: OK, just don't talk with your mouth full. [Alex nods] Aha! Right here. What the heck is this doing in there? Alex: Happy birthday! Marty: Aww! Hey, thanks, man! You put it in behind the tooth. You all right? A

Madagascar (2005 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Gloria: This is the life. [Receives a wide variety of fruit for her meal while drying in a big towel and polishing her nails for a massage.] Melman: [Melman is still getting medical treatment] That's the spot. [A chef reveals a tray full of medications and vitamins to make him feel better] Oh! I'm in heaven. Gloria: Ooh, it's Marty's birthday! Alex: Just rip it open. Come on! Marty: What is it? What is it? Gloria: Come on. Open it up. What do you get? What do you get? What do you get? Marty: Yeah! A thermometer. Thanks. I love it, Melman. I love it. [puts it in his mouth with style] Melman: Yeah, I wanted to give you something personal. You know, that was my first rectal thermometer. Marty: Mother–! [Marty proceeds to gag at the thought and spits out the thermometer while licking his tongue] Melman: I'm gonna miss that bad boy. Alex: Okay. Get the cake. Melman, come on. [Melman blows the party noisemaker] Everyone (sans Marty): [humming, in barber shop quartet-style] Alex: Happy Gloria

Madagascar (2005 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Alex: Ahhh… what a day. I mean, just really, really, I mean, I tell you, it just doesn't get any better than this, you know? [short pause, Alex sees a star] Ooh! It just did. Even the star's out. Not going to find a star like that in the wild. Marty: Helicopter. [A star, which turns out to be a helicopter, flies away.] Alex: Marty. Buddy. Listen. Everybody has days when they think the grass might be greener somewhere else. Marty: Alex. Look at me. I'm 10 years old. My life is half over. And I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes... or white with black stripes. Alex: Marty. I'm thinking of a song. Marty: Alex. Please. Not now. Alex: Oh, yes. It's a wonderful song. I think you're familiar with it. [scatting] Marty: Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't. No, no, no. I'm not listening! Lalalalalalalalalalala! Alex: ♪ Start spreadin' the news ♪ Marty: I don't know you! Alex: ♪ I'm leaving today! We are a great big part of it ♪ Marty: [laughs] He's funny. Who is that? Alex: Come on. You know

Madagascar (2005 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Gloria: Melman, come on! Melman: You know, maybe one of us should wait here in case he comes back. Gloria: Oh, no. Not now. This is an intervention, Melman. We all got to go. Alex: What's the fastest way to Grand Central?! Melman: Ooh! You should take Lexington. Gloria: Melman!! Melman: Okay. "We". We should take Lexington. Alex: What about Park? Melman: No, Park goes 2 ways. You can't time the lights. Mason: [Mason and Phil have just escaped the zoo] I heard Tom Wolfe's speaking at Lincoln Center. [Phil signs frantically] Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him. Alex: I knew we should've taken Park. Are you sure this is the fastest way to Grand Central Station? Gloria: I don't know! That's what Melman said! Melman: Hey. Hey, you guys. That room has some nifty little sinks you can wash up in and look! [sticks out his tongue with a urinal cake on it] Free mints! Alex: This isn't a field trip, Melman! This is an urgent mission to save Marty from throwing his life away! Now, where

Madagascar (2005 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Marty: Grand Central Station. It's grand, and it's central. Melman: [squeezes his head out of the train doors] Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! [head pops out and hits the ceiling sign and destroys a man's drum set while he hits the cymbal] Alex: [more people screaming and running away] Move aside. We have an emergency here. This is an emergency situation. Hey, hey. Just chill out. It's not that big of an emergency. [Nana hits him with her handbag three times] Hey! Hey! Would you? Hey! Yaaaagh! Ooh! Nana: Upstairs, downstairs! [kicks Alex's crotch, then sprays in his eyes] How do you like that?! Yahh!! Alex: Lady! What is wrong with you?! [Nana hits him twice] Ow! Get a grip on yourselves, people! Nana: [notices that lion can talk] You're a bad kitty! Announcer in the Grand Central: The next train to Connecticut has been… Marty: [angrily, as the train to Connecticut departs] Dagnabbit! I missed the express! [then calms himself down for another plan] Looks like I’m gonna have to take t

Madagascar (2005 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Alex: [his eyes glow in the dark; groaning] Oh, my head... [bumps his head on the top of his crate] Oh! Ah! [the crate lights turn on automatically] What the…? Wait. [searches inside for the crate] Where…? What…? I'm in a box! Oh, no. No, no! Not the box. Oh, no, they can't transfer me! NOT ME! [panting] Oh. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Darkness creeping in. Can't breathe. Can't breathe. Walls closing in around me. [whimpering] So alone. So alone. Marty: [his eyes open] Alex! Alex, are you there? Alex: Marty? Marty: [the crate lights have turned on automatically] Yeah! Talk to me, buddy. Alex: [relieved] Oh, Marty! You're here! Marty: What's going on? Are you OK? Alex: This doesn't look good, Marty. Gloria: [her eyes open] Alex? [the crate lights have turned on automatically] Marty, is that you? Marty: Gloria! Alex: You're here, too! Marty: I am loving the sound of your voice! Gloria: What is going on? Alex: We're all in crates! [Melman opens his eyes] Gloria: Oh, no! Wha…? Melman

Madagascar (2005 film), CC BY-SA 4.0