House, season 2

House: Death row guy. I want the case. Cuddy: How do you even know about him? You don't have access to the hospital's mainframe. House: No, but "partypants" does. Cuddy: You stole my password? House: Hardly counts as stealing; it's a pretty obvious choice.

House (Season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

House: Well, I don't want to say anything bad about another doctor, especially a useless drunk. Cuddy: You're addicted to pain pills. House: But I'm not useless.

House (Season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

Foreman: Aren't there better ways to spend our time? House: Good question. What makes a person deserving? Is a man who cheats on his wife more deserving than a man who kills his wife? Foreman: Uh yeah. Actually, he is. House: What about a child molester? Certainly not a good guy, but he didn't kill anybody. Maybe he can get antibiotics, but no MRIs. What about you? What medical care should you be denied for being a car thief? Tell you what: the three of you work out a list of what medical treatments a person loses based on the crime they committed. I'll review it when I get back.

House (Season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

Warden: Your patient shanked one inmate his first month here, broke another one's neck, nearly decapitated one of my guards. House: Relax, I've got a great bedside manner.

House (Season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

You know how people say, "you can't live without love"? Well, oxygen is even more important.

House (Season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dr. Wilson: House. Need you. Dr. House: [nasally] Nah. Forget it, I'm going home. Dr. Wilson: Hay fever? Dr. House: Boy, you must be a doctor and everything.

House (Season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0