Watchmen

Laurie: Hey, you remember that guy? The one who pretended to be a supervillain so he could get beaten up? What was his name..? Captain Carnage. Dan: Yeah he was one for the books. Laurie: You're telling me! I remember, I caught him coming out of this jeweller's. I didn't know what his racket was. I start hitting him and I think "Jeez! He's breathing funny! Does he have asthma? Dan: He tried that with me, only I'd heard about him, so I just walked away. He follows me down the street… broad daylight, right, screaming "Punish me! PUNISH ME!" I'm like "No! Get lost!" Laurie: What ever happened to him? Dan: Well, he pulled it on Rorschach, and Rorschach dropped him down an elevator shaft. Laurie: Oh, God, I'm sorry, that isn't funny. Dan: Maybe a little

Watchmen (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Rorschach: An ordinary burglar, kill the Comedian? Ridiculous. Dan: I heard he'd been working for the government since '77, knocking over Marxist republics in South America. Maybe it was a political killing or something? Rorschach: Maybe. Maybe someone's picking off costumed heroes. Dan: You don't think that's a little paranoid? Rorschach: That what they say about me now? Paranoid?

Watchmen (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dan: Look, I don't like what you're implying. And I like being followed even less. Rorschach: Maybe I was keeping an eye on you. In case someone's gunning for masks. Dan: You were never that sentimental. Rorschach: Attack on one is an attack on all of us. Dan: What do you suggest we do about it? Rorschach: Retribution. Dan: Watchmen are over. Rorschach: Says Tricky Dick. Dan: Says me.

Watchmen (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Doctor Manhattan: Why would I save a world I no longer have any stake in? Laurie: Then do it for me. If you ever cared. Doctor Manhattan: When you left me, I left Earth. Does that not show you that I care?

Watchmen (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

The Comedian: This is all bullshit. Nite Owl II: Maybe we should agree on "no drinking at meetings"? [Comedian snorts] Look, Rorschach and I have made real headway on the gang problem by working together. Ozymandias: We can do so much more. We can save this world. [the Comedian scoffs; Ozymandias looks at him pointedly] With the right leadership. The Comedian: And that'd be you, right, Ozzy? I mean, hell, you're the smartest man on the planet. Ozymandias: It doesn't take a genius to see the world has problems. The Comedian: Yeah, but it takes a room full of morons to think they're small enough for you to handle. You people, you hear Moloch's back in town, you get your panties all in a bunch... You think catching him matters?

Watchmen (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

The Comedian: Goddamn, I love working on American soil, Dan. Ain't had this much fun since Woodward and Bernstein. Nite Owl II: How long can we keep this up? The Comedian: Congress is pushing through some new bill that's gonna outlaw masks. Our days are numbered. Till then, it's like you always say: we're society's only protection. Nite Owl II: From what? The Comedian: You kidding me? From themselves. [aiming at a rioter] Son of a bitch. Nite Owl II: No, Comedian, WAIT! [grabs his arm, too late to stop him shooting the rioter] The Comedian: Get your stinking hands off me. Nite Owl II: We were supposed to make the world a better place! What the hell happened to us? What happened to the American dream? The Comedian: "What happened to the American Dream"? It came true! You're looking at it!

Watchmen (film), CC BY-SA 4.0