Fargo

Lorne Malvo: Mister, we're not friends. I mean, maybe we will be someday. But I gotta say, if that were me in your position? I would have killed that man. Lester Nygaard: Well, now... Come on. Lorne Malvo: You said he bullied you in high school, right? Lester Nygaard: Four years. Gave me an ulcer. You know what, one time, he put me in an oil barrel and rolled me in the road. Lorne Malvo: Seriously? And now he tells you that he had relations with your wife. He bullies you again in front of his children. This is a man who doesn't deserve to draw breath. Lester Nygaard: Yeah, okay, but, uh - Here's the thing - Lorne Malvo: No. That is the thing. Lester Nygaard: Well, heck! I mean, oh, okay. Lorne Malvo: Okay. Lester Nygaard: But... What am I supposed to do? Heck, you're so sure about it, maybe you should just kill him for me.

Fargo (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Vern Thurman: You'll make a good chief one day. Molly Solverson: Me? What about Bill? He's got seniority. Vern Thurman: Bill cleans his gun with bubble bath. No, it'll be you.

Fargo (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Lorne Malvo: Your problem is you spent your whole life thinking there are rules. There aren't. We used to be gorillas. All we had is what we could take and defend. The truth is, you're more of a man today than you were yesterday. Lester Nygaard: How do you figure? Lorne Malvo: It's a red tide, Lester, this life of ours. The shit they make us eat day after day, the boss, the wife, et cetera, wearing us down. If you don't stand up to it, let 'em know you're still an ape deep down where it counts, you're just gonna get washed away.

Fargo (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Lorne Malvo: Evening, Officer. Gus Grimly: Evening. License and registration, please. Lorne Malvo: We could do it that way. You ask me for my papers. I tell you it's not my car, that I borrowed it. See where things go from there. We could do that. Or you could go get in your car and drive away. Gus Grimly: Now, why would I do that? Lorne Malvo: Because some roads you shouldn't go down. Because maps used to say, "there be dragons here." Now they don't. But that don't mean the dragons aren't there. Greta Grimly: [over the radio] Dad. Come in, Dad. Over. Gus Grimly: [to Malvo] You step out of the car, please, sir. Lorne Malvo: How old's your kid? Gus Grimly: I said step out of the car. Greta Grimly: Dad, come in. Dad, over. Lorne Malvo: Let me tell you what's gonna happen, Officer Grimly. I'm going to roll my window up, then I'm going to drive away, and you're gonna go home to your daughter, and every few years, you're gonna look at her face and know that you're alive because you chose no

Fargo (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

So I got two kinds of sandwiches, tuna and turkey. Tuna's for the fish. Unless you think they'd think that's cannibalism.

Fargo (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Postal Worker: Well, I'll need to see some ID. Lorne Malvo: No. Postal Worker: What? Lorne Malvo: You heard me. Postal Worker: Well, uh--uh, I can't give you your mail, if you don't show ID. Lorne Malvo: Sure you can. All you gotta do is look through those packages over there, find the one addressed to Duluth, and then hand it to me. Postal Worker: Look, son--we're in Duluth, so technically all the mail is addressed to Duluth. Lorne Malvo: Am I gonna need to come back there and find it myself? Postal Worker: ...sir? Postal Worker: ...o-okay. Postal Worker: This is highly irregular. Lorne Malvo: No, highly irregular is the time I found a human foot in a toaster oven. This is just odd.

Fargo (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0