Happy Endings

Jane: Um I'm gonna need vodka in a water glass with ice and I'm gonna be ordering water from you all night long so... one... water, please. Waitress: Did we start already or do you really want water? Jane: Just bring me vodka. Penny: Thanks for coming everybody. It feels like only yesterday that I was born during the 1984 Olympics, a young Jewess, 26 years ago. Brad: Wow. Penny: Rollerblades? Max: Even I think rollerblades are gay. And I had sex with a dude last night.

Happy Endings (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Max: Half black's God's Photoshop. Worst-case scenario you're looking at the chick from Avatar. Jane: She's blue.

Happy Endings (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Are you part of the conspiracy? Are you all doing this because you think l'm chubby? My doctor says l retain water like a pregnant woman in a humid climate, which is a real condition.

Happy Endings (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

[on her semester abroad in Florence] Ah, those sweet Chianti-soaked nights, strolling the banks of the Arno, meeting amazing people from all over the Big 10.

Happy Endings (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Penny: Oh, my God! When I get drunk, I speak Italian! Alex: [her face and hands smeared with sauce] Oh, my God! When I get drunk, I eat ribs!

Happy Endings (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Max: [acting as a tour guide with his limo] Welcome to Chicago! Now here's a fun fact. Chicago was originally nicknamed the Window City, but another city had that nickname first, so, thanks a lot, Omaha! Tourist: Really? That doesn't sound right. Max: Aah ... Jane: Yes, it is true. We are from Omaha, and that is a true fact. We are called the Window City because of our famous Window Museum. It's a lot of looking right through other parts of the museum.

Happy Endings (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0