Sledge Hammer!

Newscaster: Twelve hours have passed since the Mayor's daughter was first reported missing. The police now believe she was kidnapped, or is just very good at hiding. Doreau: This is the leader of the group, Weird Willard Luxley. Luxley's family was so certain their son would turn out rotten they put him up for adoption three years before he was born. This is Feliz Navidad, a fiery Latin revolutionary who illegally entered this country as Julio Iglesias. Lastly, we have former member Kurt Kruggle, a despicable pervert. First arrested five years ago for making love to a fire hydrant. An additional charge was brought against Kruggle for parking in front of it.

Sledge Hammer!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Doreau: That man over there is a fiendish killer. Tied his dates to a magic fingers bed. Twelve women massaged to death. Gumm: How awful. Doreau: Made the Ten Most Wanted List. Also made Cosmo's Bachelor of the Month

Sledge Hammer!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Trunk: Hammer, you don't seem to understand my dilemma. I've been fighting with the city hall for over two months now. They're talking about making cutbacks. The mayor is threatening this entire department. Do you understand what I am saying? Hammer: You want me to kill the mayor.

Sledge Hammer!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Hey, get back here! Don't you wanna finish the job? You lazy Commie! (after chasing off a foreign spy/assassin)

Sledge Hammer!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Trunk: Hammer, this is Trunk. Have they hurt anyone? Hammer: No. Trunk: Have you hurt anyone? Hammer: Not yet.

Sledge Hammer!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Dori: I'll get a bullhorn and try to talk him down. Hammer: No, no, I can handle this. Dori: Hammer! [Hammer opens fire at the man, but missing and shooting off pieces of the ledge. The suicide jumper finally takes cover inside the building] Hammer: Another life saved and I still have one bullet left. Listen my bank is just around the corner, can we stop and I'll get some cash and then you can buy me breakfast.

Sledge Hammer!, CC BY-SA 4.0