Quotes

Dialogue

Bunty: [loud whispering] Shush! Babs: [whimpers] Bunty: I'm stuck! Ginger: Get back! Melisha Tweedy: [her first words] Mr. Tweedy. Willard Tweedy: Eh? Melisha Tweedy: What is that chicken doing outside the fence? Willard Tweedy: [his first words] Oh. [giggles] I don't know, love. Melisha Tweedy: Just deal with it. Now! Willard Tweedy: [to Ginger] I'll teach you to make a fool out of me. [He throws Ginger inside, then closes the top and turns to the other chickens] Now let that be a lesson to the lot of you! NO CHICKEN ESCAPES (clenches his right fist) FROM (with point) TWEEDY'S FARM! [He walks away & ready for bed]

Dialogue

Ginger: Oh no. Edwina. Bunty, why didn't you give her some of yours? Bunty: I would have. She didn't tell me. She didn't tell anyone.

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Babs: Ohh! Nick: You called? Nick and-- Fetcher: Fetcher. Nick: At your service. Ginger: Over here! Ginger: We need some more things. Nick: Right you are, Miss! [opens a lunchbox and holds up a couple of thimbles] How about this quality, hand-crafted tea set? Ginger: Um, no... Fetcher: [holds up a drain plug on a chain] Or this lovely necklace and pendant? Ginger: Well, it's lovely... Nick: [holds up a badminton birdie] Or how about this little number that's all the rage in the most fashionable coops in Paris. Simply pop it on like so... [pops it on Ginger's head, feathers side up so that she looks like an Indian] And as the French hens say, "Voilà!" Fetcher: That IS French. Nick: And that's two hats in one, Miss. For parties... [turns the birdie over, making it look like a wedding veil] ...For weddings! Uh, madame! This makes you look like a vision, like a dream. Fetcher: Like a duck! Ginger: No, thank you. [takes off the birdie and shows a diagram of a catapult] We're making this. We

Dialogue

Melisha Tweedy: [muttering under her breath] Fourteen shillings and threepence..seven and sixpence...two and nine...fourpence ha‘penny... DOH! [crumpling her paper] Stupid, worthless creatures. I'm sick and tired of making miniscule profits. Willard Tweedy: Oh, yes. Those chickens are up to something. Melisha Tweedy: Quiet. I’m onto something. Willard Tweedy: They're organized. I know it. Melisha Tweedy: I said quiet. Willard Tweedy: [whispering] That ginger one - I reckon she's their leader. Melisha Tweedy: [She slams her fist down on the desk] Mr. Tweedy! Willard Tweedy: Ah! Melisha Tweedy: I may finally have found a way to make us some real money around here, and what are you on about? Ridiculous notions of escaping chickens. Willard Tweedy: B-b-but... Melisha Tweedy: It’s all in your head, Mr. Tweedy. Say it! Willard Tweedy: It’s all in me head, it’s all in me head... Melisha Tweedy: Now, you keep telling yourself that because I don’t want to hear another word about it. Is that cle

Dialogue

Ginger: Think everyone, think. What haven't we tried yet? Babs: Uh... Bunty: We haven't tried NOT trying to escape. Babs: [happily] Hmm. That might work. Ginger: What about Edwina? How many more empty nests will it take? Bunty: Well, perhaps it wouldn't be empty if she'd spent more time laying and less time escaping! Ginger: So laying eggs all your life and then getting plucked, stuffed and roasted is good enough for you; it is guilty? Babs: It's a living. Ginger: Do you know what the problem is? The fences aren't just around the farm; they're up here [Points to head]. There is a better place out there, beyond on the hill, outdoors, trees and grass. You imagine it. Cool grass green. Chicken: And who feeds us? Ginger: We feed ourselves. Chicken: Where is the farm? Ginger: There is no farm. Babs: Then where does the farmer live? Ginger: There is no farmer, Babs. Babs: Is he on holiday? Ginger: He isn't anywhere! Don't you get it? There's no morning head count, no farmers, no dogs, no coo

Dialogue

Rocky: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Let's back up and start from the top. Where am I? Ginger: Uh, you're right, how rude of us. We're just very exci– [clears throat] This is a chicken farm. Babs: And we're the chickens. [winks] Rocky: Ah, I'm with you so far. Chicken farm, chickens… Fowler: [about Rocky] I don't like the look of this one. His eyes are too close together. Ginger: Fowler, please! Fowler: And he's a yank! Rocky: Easy, pops. Cockfighting's illegal where I come from. Bunty: And where is that, exactly? Rocky: Ah, just a little place I call The Land of the Free, and the Home of the Brave. Mac: Scotland! Rocky: No! America! Chickens: Oooh! America! Fowler: Poppycock! Pushy Americans, always showing up late for every war. Overpaid, oversexed, and over here! [exits Hut 17] Rocky: Hey, what's eatin' Grandpa? Ginger: Uh, don't mind him, mister… Mister…? Rocky: The name's Rocky. Rocky the Rhode Island Red. "Rhodes" for short. Agnes: "Rocky Rhodes"? Rocky: Catchy, ain't it? Ginger:

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Ginger: I knew it was possible. Rocky: Oh, it's possible, alright. Ginger: I knew the answer would come. Rocky: Amen! Ginger: We're all going to FLY over that fence, and Mr Rhodes is going to show us how, right? Rocky: That's r... W-w-what, did you say "fly"? Ginger: You can teach us. Rocky: No, I can't. [The other hens sigh in despair] Listen. Shh! You hear that? [silence] That's the open road calling my name, and I was born to answer that call. Bye! [dashes out the coop] Babs: ...He must have very good hearing.

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Ginger: So that's it. You're from the circus. Rocky: [alarmed] Shh! Ginger: You're on the run, aren't you? Rocky: [pulls Ginger behind Hut 17] You wanna keep it down?! I'm trying to lay low here! Ginger: I should turn you in right now! Rocky: You wouldn't… would you? Ginger: Give me one reason why I shouldn't. Rocky: Because I'm… cute? [Ginger stares at him and squawks loudly, he quickly clamps her beak shut] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What kind of crazy chick are you? Do you know what'll happen if he finds me?! Ginger: It's a cruel world. Rocky: I've just decided; I don't like you. Ginger: I've just decided, I don't care. Now show us how to fly. Rocky: With this wing?! Ginger: Teach us, then! Rocky: No! Melisha Tweedy: [Smiles] He's valuable, you say? Circus Man: Sure. Melisha Tweedy: [to Mr Tweedy] Get the torch. Rocky: [clamps her beak shut again] Now you listen here, sister. I'm not going back to that life! I'm a lone free ranger; emphasis on "free"! Ginger: And that's what we want -

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Fowler: Absolutely outrageous! Asking a senior officer to share his quarters! And with a non-commissioned Yank, no less! Why, back in my day, I'd never... Rocky Rhodes: Hey, you weren't exactly my first choice either. And scoot over! Your wing's on my side of the bunk. Fowler: Your side of the bunk!? The whole bunk is my side of the bunk! Rocky Rhodes: [snapping back] Just... What's that smell? Is that your breath? Fowler: [grumbling] It's absolutely outrageous.

Dialogue

Rocky: So, you wanna fly? Well, it ain't gonna be easy, and it ain't gonna happen overnight either. You see, flying takes three things - hard work, perseverance and... hard work. Fowler: You said "hard work" twice! Rocky: That's because it takes twice as much work as perseverance. [licks a feather and shows it to the hens, making all of them except Ginger laugh] Fowler: Codswallop! [muttering] Cocky Yanks think that they know it all... [goes back into Hut 1]

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Ginger: I thought you were going to teach us how to fly. Rocky: That's what I'm doing. Ginger: [chuckles] Isn't there usually some flapping involved? Rocky: Hey, do I tell you how to lay eggs? Relax. We're making progress. Ginger: Really? I can't help feeling we're going round in circles. [points to the chickens, who are indeed, spinning around in circles] Rocky: What the...? Hey! Cut it out! You're making me dizzy! [The chickens stop, and start wobble around uneasily and toppling over] Yeah. I think they're ready to fly now. Ginger: Good, 'cause they certainly can't WALK anymore.

Dialogue

Willard Tweedy: Oooh, what's all this, then? Melisha Tweedy: [spins a circular saw blade, menacingly] This is our future, Mr. Tweedy. No more wastin’ time with petty egg collection and miniscule profits. Willard Tweedy: No more eggs? But...we've always been egg farmers. Me father, and his father, and all their fathers, they were always... Melisha Tweedy: Poor! Worthless! Nothings! But all that's about to change. [holding up the saw blade] This will take Tweedy’s farm out of the dark ages and into full-scale automated production. [As she clicks a switch. Knives shoot out from the blade in all directions.] Melisha Tweedy will be poor no longer. [shoves the manual into Mr. Tweedy's chest] Willard Tweedy: I'll put it together then, shall I?

Dialogue

Nick: We slipped into the farmer's room, all quiet, like... Fetcher: [interrupting] Like a fish! Nick: Yeah, and we- [pauses] Like a FISH? You stupid Norbert.

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Nick: [to Fetcher, sobbing] What are you sobbing about, you nancy? Fetcher: Little moments like this, mate. It's what makes the job all worthwhile. [to Nick, putting a red light in] Wanna dance? Nick: Yeah, all right.

Dialogue

Willard Tweedy: Ooh! That's champion, that is. What is it? Melisha Tweedy: It's a pie machine, you idiot. Chickens go in, pies come out. Willard Tweedy: Oh! What kind of pies? Melisha Tweedy: [sarcastically] Apple. Willard Tweedy: [excited] My favorite! Melisha Tweedy: [forcefully] Chicken pies, you great lummox! [calmly] Imagine it! In less than a fortnight, every grocer in the county will be stocked with box upon box of "Mrs Tweedy's Homemade Chicken Pies". Willard Tweedy: Just "Missus"? Melisha Tweedy: Woman's touch. Makes the public feel more comfortable. Willard Tweedy: Uh, right. How does it work? [about to pull the gearshift] Melisha Tweedy: [slaps Mr. Tweedy on the hand] Get me a chicken and I'll show you. Willard Tweedy: I know just the one. [He walks out to get Ginger]

Dialogue

Mac: Oh, a cannon. Aye, that would give you thrust. Bunty: I knew he was fake all along. In fact, I'm not even certain he was American. Mac: So, what's the next plan, hen? Ginger: [sighs] Let's face it. The only way out of here is wrapped in pastry. Babs: Perhaps he just went on holiday. Bunty: Perhaps he just wanted to get away from your infernal knitting! [angrily snatches Babs' knitting and stamps it in the mud] Mac: You were always the one that was always hitting him. See how you like it! [pushes Bunty] Fowler: Quiet there! Quiet, I say! Dissension in the ranks. Precisely what Jerry would have wanted. The old divide and conquer. A proper squadron works together, like we did in my R.A.F. days. Jocko at the stick, Flappy at the map, and old Whizzbang at the tail-end Charlie. WingCo would give the call, hop in the old crate, chocks away! Wizard show it was. [shows Bunty his air-force medal] That's how you get medals. Bunty: [enraged] Oh. Will you shut up about your STUPID, BLOOMING ME

Dialogue

Willard Tweedy: [under his breath] C'mon. [groans] Please. Ginger: Oh no. He‘s fixed it. Melisha Tweedy: [enters] Get the chickens. Willard Tweedy: Which ones? Melisha Tweedy: All of them. [switches to max level on the pie machine] Willard Tweedy: Me tools! Why, you thieving little buggers! Mac: [whispers] What's the plan? Ginger: ATTACK!! [Cut to close up Mr. Tweedy] Bunty: [as Ginger is doing literally that] Nice plan! Willard Tweedy: [being attacked by the chickens] MRS. TWEEDY! AHH! MRS. TWEEDY, THE CHICKENS ARE REVOLTING! Melisha Tweedy: [sarcastically, not paying attention] Finally, something we agree on. Willard Tweedy: [still being attacked by the chickens] HELP! MRS.-- [muffled, falls down] Ginger: Under the hut! [The chickens shove him underneath a hut.]

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Ginger: Listen. We'll either die free chickens or die trying. Babs: Are those the only choices?

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Nick: [aboard the flying machine] The exits are located here and here. In the quite likely event of an emergency, put your head between your knees and- Fetcher: Kiss your bum goodbye!

Dialogue

Ginger: Alright, Fowler! Ready for take-off! Fowler: Behind you all the way! Ginger: But... you're supposed to be up there! [points to the cockpit] You're the pilot! Fowler: Don't be ridiculous. I can't fly this contraption. Ginger: But... but back in your day. The Royal Air Force. Fowler: 644 Squadron, Poultry Division! We were the mascots. Ginger: You mean you never actually FLEW the plane!? Fowler: Good heavens, no! I'm a CHICKEN! The Royal Air Force doesn't let chickens behind the controls of complex aircraft! Hen: We're all gonna die! Ginger: You have to fly it. You're always talking about back in your day. Well, today is your day! Bunty: You can do it, you old sausage. Fowler: Wing Commander T.I. Fowler reporting for duty. [The hens cheer; Fowler impatiently talks over them, heading for the cockpit.] Come on, what are you waiting for? Let's get this crate off the ground! Ginger: Fowler, NOW! Fowler: [manipulating levers] Roger! Contact! [Chickens start peddling and the propeller

Dialogue

Ginger: THAT'S for leaving. [pulls him close] And THIS is for coming back. Fowler: Great Scott! What was that?! Mac: A cling-on cap'n! And the engines can't take it! Ginger: Oh my goodness. Babs! Scissors! Babs: [rumages through her handbag, throwing out a knit, a toothbrush, a lipstick, before finding the scissors] Bingo! Ginger: Lower me down. Rocky: But... Ginger... Ginger: Just do it. Fowler: Increase velocity! Babs: What does that mean? Bunty: It means PEDAL YOUR FLIPPIN' GIBLETS OUT!! Ginger: LOWER! Rocky: I'm trying! Ginger: [billboard] FOWLER! LOOK OUT! Rocky: GINGER! [She raising her axe. But then Rocky starts firing eggs at Melisha Tweedy] Rocky: FIRE! FIRE! Fetcher: Oh, me eggs. [Ginger loses Babs' scissors] Rocky: MORE AMMO, HURRY! Nick: WE'VE GOT NO MORE EGGS! Rocky: GINGER! LOOK OUT! Melisha Tweedy: [Snarling. Melisha Tweedy breaks the wire with her axe, and seemingly beheads Ginger] Rocky: NOOOOO!!! [after a moment of silence, she ducks and cover Ginger looks up at Melis

Dialogue

Nick: 'Ey, 'ey, here's a thought. Why don't we get an egg and start our own chicken farm? That way we'll have all the eggs we could eat. Fetcher: Right. We'll need a chicken then. Nick: No. No, we'll need an egg. You have the egg first. That's where you get the chicken from. Fetcher: No, that's cobblers. If you don't have a chicken, where are you gonna get an egg? Nick: From the chicken that comes from the egg. Fetcher: Yeah, but you have to have an egg to have a chicken. Nick: Yeah, but you gotta get the chicken first to get the egg, and then from the egg, you get the chicken out. Fetcher: Hang on. Let's go over this again. [The screen puts up, "The End", then the credits scene]

Dialogue

Nick: The egg, obviously. Rollin' along happy as Larry, then, crack! Hatches into the first chicken. Fetcher: Yeah, but where'd the egg come from, then? Nick: What do you mean, where'd it come from? Fetcher: Egg comes rollin' along, happy as Larry. It's wonderin', where'd it come from? Without a chicken, you get no egg to come rollin' along. Nick: Well, conversely, without an egg to hatch into the chicken, there will be no chicken to lay the other egg that hatches into the chicken that lays the egg I mentioned in the first place. Fetcher: So we got two eggs now? Nick: No, we're still talking about the very first egg. Fetcher: But what happened to the very first chicken? Nick: He's in the very first egg! Aren't you listenin'? Rocky: Uh, guys. Guys? Tryin' to enjoy paradise over here. Nick: Oh, sorry, guv. Fetcher: Beg your pardon. Nick: Won't happen again. Rocky: Thanks. Nick: Gitface. Fetcher: Pillock. Nick: Thinks he's such a big shot 'cause he's got his name on a poster. These show b

Deleted Dialogues

Oh No. SHE'S GRABBED ON!

Deleted Dialogues

COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!