Quotes

Dialogue

Candy: What you lookin' at? Otis B. Driftwood: I'm lookin' at you, mama. Candy: Yeah, you see something you like? Otis B. Driftwood: Maybe. I set my standards pretty low, so I'm never disappointed. Candy: Oh I don't disappoint.

Dialogue

Baby: [dancing in front of Otis and the hostages] Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these. [repeated 4x] Otis: Hoss, are you staring at my sister thinking bad thoughts? Roy: No, Otis: Well, why not- are you a faggot? Roy: No. Otis: Well, what are ya then? I mean you got this hot, piece of ass shaking her shit right in front of you and you're not getting any ideas. What do you call that? Roy: I'm a married man. Otis: Oh, a married fuckin' man. Hey, that's just great! Let's give him a big round of applause, folks for the married man! come on! [he and Baby clap and laugh] Baby: Wow! married man! Otis: All right. wow. okay, mama, front and center, on your feet. Roy: Don't hurt her. Otis: Get on your feet. Come on. Let's go. Adam Banjo: Please, mister. This is insane. Otis: Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit, 'cause it's definitely gettin' chiseled on your tombstone. okay, come on, Mama. Take that shit off, let's see what's

Dialogue

Baby: Meow! Meow. Hey, pussycat. Hey, got a light? Roy Sullivan: No, uh, I don't smoke. My doctor says I got lungs like a professional athlete. Baby: Ah, I get it. You wanna live forever. Roy Sullivan: Yeah yeah, well... Baby: So what, are you on vacation all by yourself or something? Roy Sullivan: Yeah... no. I'm actually out here with my singing group. I do the lead singing for it. It's called "Banjo and Sullivan. " I used to sing with Johnny Cash. He shook my hand. Baby: I love famous people. They're so much better than the real thing. Roy Sullivan: Well, yeah, I suppose they are. Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you. Roy Sullivan: Would you say that again? Baby: I bet all the girls wanna fuck you. Roy Sullivan: Do you kiss your mama with that mouth? Baby: Trust me, fella. That ain't the only thing I do with this mouth. Roy Sullivan: Don't tell me that! What? Say that again. Baby: That I ain't the only thing I do with this mouth.

Dialogue

Susan: Come on, honey. Mommy has to get to work. If I'm late one more time, Mr. McDonnell is gonna can my ass. Jamie: I am hurrying! I dropped something. Susan: Will you get in the car?! Okay, come on, let's go get in. Jamie: Mom, a clown. Susan: Yeah yeah, a clown. Oh... hi. Captain Spaulding: Hi I'm gonna have to be taking your car today. See I have some top secret clown business that supersedes any plans that you might have for this here vehicle. Susan: What's that about clown business? Captain Spaulding: [pause] Do I stutter, bitch? Susan: Jamie, get in the car. Lock the door. Captain Spaulding: Where the hell you going? Damn it. Don't you never turn your back on a fucking clown when he's talking to you! Susan: Get your fucking hands off of me! Captain Spaulding: What's the matter, kid? Don't you like clowns? Jamie: No... Captain Spaulding: Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we fuckin' funny? You best come up with an answer, cos I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your m

Dialogue

Sheriff John Wydell: What's going on, shitheads? Rondo: Sheriff.... Sheriff John Wydell: (hands Rondo a piece of paper) Here's a list of names I need you to run down for me. Rondo: [Looks at the paper, and starts chuckling] That's some funny-ass names! Haha! Sheriff John Wydell: Yeah, look who's fuckin' talkin' "Rondo". Just let me know if anything connects. Billy Ray Snapper: I'm sure it will. Shit always floats our way, don't it...."Chief"? Sheriff John Wydell: Well, if you keep your mouth open wide enough maybe you'll catch it all....don't fuck this up assholes. Rondo: Have fun scraping all them brains up off the road! Haha.

Dialogue

Charlie Altamont: Oh...yeah! Lord have mercy!! What a mornin'!! Clevon!! Clevon: Yeah boss? Charlie Altamont: You know why I come here to get these chickens? Clevon: No boss. Charlie Altamont: 'Cuz my brother makes the best fried chicken in the world! Clevon: Is that right? Charlie Altamont: (to Darrell) Yeah, good mornin' good mornin' good mornin' good mornin' sir! How are ya! Darrell: How're you all doin? G'morning. Charlie Altamont: Good, good, good, whatcha got for me? Darrell: We got these, uh, real cute barred rock chickens. Charlie Altamont: Yeah! I see it! Darrell: Some nice, long-legged Rhode Island Reds. Charlie Altamont: RHODE ISLAND RED!! I like that, huh! I want a Rhode Island red for me, all right? Two of 'em. Darrell: Rhode Island Red...two. (long pause, scratches his nose) Now ya'll ain't planning on fuckin' these chickens are ya? Charlie Altamont: (after a long pause) What the fuck are you getting at? Do you fuck chickens? Darrell: Well, I thought about fuckin' some ch

Dialogue

Baby: Goddamn it, look at that jacket. Otis: What? Baby: On TV. Otis: Wha--fuck the TV! Baby: Fuck the TV? Fuck you! Otis: Hey fuck you, will you just keep your head in the business at hand here?

Dialogue

Marty Walker: That goddamn fucking Elvis Presley. Sheriff John Wydell: What'd you say about the King?! Marty Walker: I said he died three days before Grouch... Sheriff John Wydell: Son, if you ever say another derogatory word about Elvis Aron Presley in my presence again, I will kick the living shit out of you! you get this Hollywood-loving pussy out of my face. Marty Walker: Elvis is in Hollywood! Sheriff John Wydell: Get the hell outta here! Marty Walker: His first film... Sheriff John Wydell: Get out! Marty Walker: "Love Me Tender," was based on an Irish folk song! Sheriff John Wydell: F*ck Groucho!

Dialogue

Ruth: Poopy! What do you need a gun for? Where are we going? Captain Spaulding: You ain't going nowhere, bitch. Ruth: Oh, Poopy! Where are you going? Captain Spaulding: Get out of my fucking way! Ruth: Poopy, no! Sheriff John Wydell: If you're out there listening to this, I got a message for ya. I'm coming to get ya. You can't run forever. You're gonna have to stop somewhere, sometime, and when you do I'm gonna be there to put the wrath of the Lord up your ass. Ruth: Poopy, don't go! Captain Spaulding: God damn it, stop calling me Poopy! Leave me alone, woman! Ruth: I want my Poopy! Captain Spaulding: Leave me alone! Ruth: Poopy, no!