Parks and Recreation, season 6

Andy: Look, Hogwarts. Ben: No, that's Buckingham Palace. Hogwarts is fictional. You do know that, don't you? It's important to me that you know that. Ron: History began on July 4, 1776. Everything that happened before that was a mistake.

Parks and Recreation (season 6), CC BY-SA 4.0

Ron: I'd invite you for a drink, but where would we find one here? Leslie: Are you kidding? This is London. There's a pub over there, there's a pub over there, and there's a pub between those two butcher shops. Ron: Let's go to that one, but we'll be stopping by those two butcher shops first. Ron: I thought you needed some air, even if that air is fouled by the stench of European socialism. Tom: Your son, he's my best friend, he's like a brother to me, but he's a disaster. And your daughter, she needs to be put in a mental institution. On an island. In space.

Parks and Recreation (season 6), CC BY-SA 4.0

Ben: Hey, you wanted to see me? Chris: I did. [tosses something towards him] Think fast! Ben: Oh my god! [catches it] Hey, Dr. Buttons!...I mean, my old calculator. It doesn't have a name.

Parks and Recreation (season 6), CC BY-SA 4.0

Leslie: We all know that I can not spend as much money on ads as my opponent but, I printed out 10,000 "Don't" stickers and 10,000 question mark stickers. That way, if you see a sign that says "Recall Knope," all you need to do is add the question mark and the "Don't" and suddenly it reads "Recall Knope? Don't." Donna: Why don't you just put the "Don't" in front of "Recall Knope?" Leslie: ...Yeah that's a much better idea. April: Can I have these question mark stickers? Leslie: Why? April: I wanna put them on stop signs! [runs out] Leslie: April no!

Parks and Recreation (season 6), CC BY-SA 4.0

Ron: That's your will? You need that many pages to say "Give my stuff to my wife"? Ben: It's a complicated legal document. Ron: It doesn't have to be. [pulls a piece of paper from wallet] I've had the same will since I was eight years old. Ben: [reading it] "Upon my death, all my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols? Ron: The man who kills me will know. Ben: Ok, you should really have a will that's more than one sentence long. You have a wife and kids now. I could introduce you to our lawyer. Ron: The three most useless jobs in the world are, in order, lawyer, congressman and doctor. Pass. Ben: Ron, that document is nothing, it's not even notarized. You know, if you die and you don't have a real will, most of what you own will go to the government. Ron: [pause] Where is this lawyer you speak of?

Parks and Recreation (season 6), CC BY-SA 4.0

Leslie: That's what you really think of me? You think I'm annoying? Donna: Leslie, sometimes you're kind of annoying. I mean I thought that was your thing. Leslie: My thing?! My thing is not being annoying! My things are making friendship bracelets and dancing like nobody's watching and thinking up really cool nicknames for my friends. You of all people should know that El Diablo! Donna: Look the only reason I'm even on twitter is to blow off steam about work and tweet nasty stuff to dudes with washboard abs.

Parks and Recreation (season 6), CC BY-SA 4.0