The Last Shot

Joe: Have you actually seen a person die, watched them bleed to death, seen them take their last breath? I've seen that... many times. Steven: Why have you seen that? Joe: I used to produce music videos.

The Last Shot, CC BY-SA 4.0

Joe: At this time, I would like to introduce Fanny Nash, the producer of the hit comedy "No Means No" to discuss proper Hollywood protocol. Fanny: I am over 35 years old. I am physically unable to bear children. And I pay alimony to my ex-husband, who is a faggot. Yet I am willing to bet that all of you would fuck me over that desk right now if you knew you'd be having lunch with Harrison Ford as soon as you blew your wad. If you want to carry yourself like you're in the movie business, you need to act like the big dog, Clifford. And remember that everyone in the entire world is desperate to play with your big red balls.

The Last Shot, CC BY-SA 4.0

You do not want to eat lunch off my ass. You want to eat lunch off my ass? I thought you were kosher.

The Last Shot, CC BY-SA 4.0

Joe: What are you going to do to me? Ed, Jr.: Movie starts in 3 minutes. If you don't tell us where the money is, we're going to cut you fingers off during the opening credits. Wally: Titles. Credits come at the end of the movies. Titles come first. Ed, Jr.: Fine. Titles. We're going to cut them off during the fucking titles.

The Last Shot, CC BY-SA 4.0

Joe: Delores, I have those presents I want to give to Sasha. Where is she? Delores: I'm sorry, sir. Your dog is dead. She killed herself. Joe: What? Delores: The Jacuzzi. She threw herself into the Jacuzzi. I tried to find you. It was horrible. Joe: Oh, no. Maybe she fell in. Delores: Oh, there was a witness. Alejandro, the gardener's son. It was suicide. Joe: Suicide? Delores: She was lonely. She couldn't stand it anymore. Joe: They why the fuck didn't you go outside and play with her? Throw the little red ball with her? Delores': I'm sorry, Mr. Devine. I know you loved that dog. On Tuesday, she dug up all the flowers and then took a dump in the kitchen. I believe that was her note.

The Last Shot, CC BY-SA 4.0

Joe, from the beautiful words you've written, it clear to me that Sasha wasn't just a great dog. She was a great friend. "Sasha was loyal, she was compassionate, and she loved to shake."

The Last Shot, CC BY-SA 4.0