Quotes

Dialogue

Joel: Well? Are we in? Sandy: Alright. Then I'm surfing all night on the Net and–– Joel: C'mon, man. Just warn me if you have it or not! Sandy: As I was saying, I bust in on the Red Hot Chili Peppers forum. The tour manager's girlfriend was looking for some freebies at this health spa, just like we thought she would. It looked like she'd do anything, then– Joel: Did you get it, Sandy?! [He is dying to know] Sandy: Well, I surfed once more and got them for her, did some trading here and there, and in return.... Joel: Yes? And? [He is really getting annoyed now] Sandy: Well, she asked what she could do for me, and I said, well, how about a couple of all-access laminates––you know, to get us backstage where we could meet the group! Joel: No joking!

Dialogue

Dirk: I ought to teach you a lesson. Uncle Porter: I'd like that. I have a thirst for knowledge; teach me.

Dialogue

You're going to have to use your brain which is going to hurt because it's the weakest muscle in your body.

Dialogue

What do you want? I'm from Chicago, it's not like there were street signs.

Dialogue

I've been smoking up a storm. Uncle Porter lets me drink all the beer I want, he also knows a lot of loose women.

Dialogue

A piece of advice, Never hurl in front of your woman. Something to live by.

Dialogue

Dirk: Thanks. Uncle Porter: You're welcome.