Help! I'm a Fish

Fly: [trying to take back the potion from Joe] I'm convinced your words are true. Joe: Who's this? Fly: Please let me follow you. Joe: What a nice young fish. Fly: I'll hold the bottle, too. Joe: Oh no, that won't be necessary. Fly: I insist, just let me hold it. Joe: [crossly] The bottle stays with me. Fly: Just let me have a little sip. Chuck: No, Fly, no! We're at the bottom of the sea, you'll drown! Joe: Hmm... arrest them!

Help! I'm a Fish, CC BY-SA 4.0

Fly: [chasing Joe in the water pipes as he escapes with the antidote] Wait! Wait, come-come back, you-you stupid fish! Joe: [coldly] I'm sufficiently intelligent enough to kill you... if you don't stop bothering me. Fly: So what? Any brute could do that. But can you tell me what the square root of... six thousand, five-hundred and sixty-one is? Joe: [stammers] Uh, three-hundred, divided by forty, minus three is... [he turns around the antidote of the cork to open a little drink more of the antidote and develops a more prominent, swollen head] Ah! Eighty-one! Fly: Yeah! But do you know what happens if an object travels at the speed of light? Joe: [drinks more of the antidote and sprouts spines, legs, and arms, and tears his pelvic fins off] Ah! It turns into pure energy! Fly: What came first, the-the chicken or the egg? Joe: [drinks more of the antidote and grows in size, grows hair and longer limbs, now resembling a fish-human] It depends on the relative amount of molecules in the univ

Help! I'm a Fish, CC BY-SA 4.0

Joe: [to the crab and Shark] Useless! The pair of you! You're not fit for sushi! I sentence you to execution! The Shark: Uhh... what's that? Joe: Shark! Chew up that useless crab and eat yourself when you've finished! The Shark: [about to eat the crab] Yeh... uh... well... [turns angrily to Joe] Joe: [realizing his mistake] Uh... I mean, um, no, no, uh, that won't do, ah, my mistake. Nobody has to execute themselves in a civilized society [spotting another fish] You! Seabass: Ah, who? Me? Joe: Yes, you! Because of your long and loyal service to me, I hereby appoint you chief executioner. Seabass: Ah! Ohh, thank you, sir. Ah, thank you, sir! Thank you, thank you, thank y- [Shark devours him] Joe: Uh, on the other fin, we could just call it water under the bridge. A great leader is distinguished by his ability to forgive. Shark, I hereby appoint you offensive commander! The Shark: [calls the other fish to order] Atten-tion! Joe: Go and get those three infuriating fish and bring them to m

Help! I'm a Fish, CC BY-SA 4.0