Quotes

Dialogue

Troy: Nice save, Lelaina. Lelaina: I'm not a valedictorian but I play one on tv. Troy: We all know you slept your way to the podium.

Dialogue

Lelaina: Well, I know this sounds cornball but I'd like to somehow make a difference in people's lives. Troy: And I... I would like to buy them all a Coke. Lelaina: And you wonder why we never got involved!

Dialogue

Lelaina: Can you define "irony"? Troy: It's when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning. Lelaina: Where were you this morning when I needed you?

Dialogue

Lelaina: Quick, Vicky, whats your social security? Vicky: Uhm... 851-25-9357. Troy: Very impressive. Vicky: Thats the only thing I really learned in college... Sometimes I get that not so fresh feeling.

Dialogue

Troy: Well, should I get married, should I be good, should I astound the girl next door with my velvet suit and my faustushood and not take her to movies but to cemeteries and tell her stories of werewolf tongues and forked clarinets... What 'Hey, That's My Bike' would like to do as a band is travel the countryside like Woody Guthrie. Sammy: Or Richard Simmons. You know, how in his commercials he surprises people jogging... Troy: As you can see, I have the occasional run-in with an anti-Hey-That's-My Biker and to those people I say nobody... nobody can eat 50 eggs.

Dialogue

Charlane McGregor: Why don't you get a job at the Burgerama? They'll hire you! My Lord, I saw on the TV, they had this little retarded boy working the register. Lelaina: Because I'm not retarded, Mom. I was the valedictorian of my university! Wes McGregor: Well you don't have to put that on your application.

Dialogue

Lelaina: Welcome to the world of the emotionally mature. It's a really nice place to visit. Hey, you may run into Michael. He lives here. Troy: Oh, yeah, right. Michael. Michael. He's so mature, because he lets you navigate that entire relationship. Well, I'm sorry, Lelaina, but you can't navigate me. I might do mean things, and I might hurt you, and I might run away without your permission, and you might hate me forever. And I know that that scares the shit out of you, because I'm the only real thing that you have. Lelaina: Yeah, well that ain't real much.