Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!

[showing Tad a tabloid cover story] Congratulations. You're actually drinking, driving, smoking, leering and groping at the same time. Which on one hand, is just about the coolest thing ever...but on the other hand, maybe isn't so great for the image.

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!, CC BY-SA 4.0

[to Tad] And at which point, Tad. If you are going back to the airport, I will ride with you, and by the Route 73 cloverleaf, I will have given myself to you in ways you've only read about in the drugstore!

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Sometimes Goliath kicks the shit out of David. It's just nobody bothers to tell that story.

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Pete: Angelica? Angelica: Yes, Pete, what is the object of your desire? Pete: Um... we'd like another round of beers. Angelica: Someday Pete, when I ask what you desire you will say: you, Angelica, you are the object of my desires. Pete: Okay. [pause] I think we'll just take the beers for now.

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Rosalee: So he's going to stay in the motel while he fixes up the farm. Pete: Like, he's a farmer, all of a sudden? Rosalee: I think he'll be a good farmer. Pete: Rosie... He's from Malibu, California okay? The only thing they grow there... are breasts.

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Pete: I'm telling you, she is more of a treasure than you could possibly know. She is not just some wholesome, small town girl, some like, good for you breath of fresh air. Tad, she is a wonderful person with a huge heart. And the kind of beauty that a guy only sees once, you know? Once! So Tad, if there is even a chance that you could break her heart, please, just for her sake, walk away man. Tad: I could never break Rosalee's heart, okay? Pete: Good. Because if you do, I swear to God I will tear you to pieces with my bare hands. Or vicious rhetoric. Tad: You're a good guy, Pete. Pete: Well, yes. Apparently not good enough.

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!, CC BY-SA 4.0