Quotes

Others

Minion: [as a primitive caveman is about to hit a bear with a club] No, no, no! Piñata! [the Minions cheers as the primitive hits the bear with a fly swatter, then the bear eats him alive as the Minions screamed in terror] Tina: Can you breathe underwater? Frankie Fishlips: [as Scarlet declares that all the villains have one thing in common] WE WERE BORN WITH FLIPPERS! … No? Just me? Okay. A man: So cool! [pushes the minions back onto the stage] Keeper of the Crown: So, you came for the queen’s crown, did you? Edna: Who was that? [Scarlet: You are very good!] One of the villains: [while he’s right behind them minions] Come back here, you! Someone from the Crowd: She lost the crown!

Dialogue

Scarlet: Do you know who this is? [points at Protret Queen Elizabeth] Kevin: Uh... la cucaracha? Scarlet: This is Queen Elizabeth, ruler of England. I love England. Their music, the fashion. I'm seriously thinking about overthrowing it someday. Anyway. This pale drink of water oversees it all. I'm her biggest fan, loved her work. And I really, really, really want her crown!

Dialogue

Scarlet: Steal me the crown, and all your dreams come true. RESPECT POWER! Stuart: BANANA! Scarlet: BANANA!

Dialogue

Herb: Woah! These guys are pumped! Scarlet: Maybe I'll settle them down with a bedtime story. How does that sound, Bob? Bob?, Bob? [screaming louder] BOB? Bob: Bedtime story? Herb: That is a groovy idea! I'll get some cookies and warm milk. This is gonna be so fun! Scarlet: Oh, yes. I've got a really really really good bedtime story. [beginning to count the history] Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. One fateful day, the pigs encountered a big, bad wolf who had a wonderful surprise for them. The wolf offered the 3 piggies and all their friends a job working for her. Everyone would be so happy. All the 3 little piggies had to do was just steal one little crown that the beautiful wolf had wanted ever since she was a penniless little street cub, unloved and abandoned… but that crown would mean she was a princess, and everybody loves the princess, so the wolf sent the piggies to get that crown... but the little piggies weren't up to the challenge. They failed their mission, so the

Dialogue

Keeper of the Crown (who's blinded): So… you came for the queen's crown, did ya? Well, you're gonna have to get through me! The keeper of her crown! Kevin: [speaks Minionese mockingly while the keeper hits him in the head with a cane] Oye yoi yoi yoi yoi. Ow, hey! Keeper of the Crown: You think it's funny to mock the elderly, do ya?! Kevin: Uh... si? [the tower guard hits Kevin in the head] Augh! Keeper of the Crown: I've been up here for decades… [hits Kevin right between his legs with his cane while he screams] ...Just waiting for someone to try and steal the Queen's treasure! [wacks Kevin to the wall with his cane]

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[beats up Stuart] Gentleman... do... not... steal... ladies'... crowns...!

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King Bob!

Dialogue

Ah, Claire. Ooh, Tiffany. Mi bellas! Rawr. [kisses them]

Dialogue

Scarlet: [furiously] How dare you! [gets hit by a ball] Aaaaaahhhhh! [pounced on by a corgi, who licks her, but Scarlet throws the corgi back onto the floor, scaring the painter, corgi whimpers.] Kevin: [relieved] Scarlet! Scarlet: [gets mad at the Minions] Don't you "Scarlet" me, you backstabbing little traitors! Using Herb's invention to steal my crown?! Herb: I feel used. Not gonna lie. Scarlet: You stole my dream. I was going to conquer England someday. There was going to be a coronation, and I was going to be made queen. Every moment was planned. I’d wear a dress so sparkly it glowed, and everyone who ever doubted me would be watching and they would be crying. I was going to be the picture of elegance and class, and you pinheads screwed it up!

Dialogue

Herb: Scarlet, you're okay! Scarlet: [enraged] HE TRIED TO KILL ME!!!!!! Kevin: Uh, no, no... [speaks Minionese] Scarlet: Villains, this is no longer a coronation, it is an execution! Get them! Villains: [as they start running] YAAAAH! Walter: Whoa, Nelly! Run, fellas! Run! [the minions run through stained glass windows with three humans on them and then the villains run through the wall as the chase continues outside the city on the road. Rain pours from the night sky, the minions are panting as the villains are right behind them as they throw their weapons as some run on the roofs; one villain laughs evilly and thunder and lightning crashes above them] One of the villains: Come back here, you! Mr. Spikey: [gets picked up by a villain] Whoa! [the villain throws it for the minions as they take cover in a phone booth. The minions whimper while hiding as a villain with a chainsaw looms over them] The Villain: [shows his five fingers, then starts his chainsaw, the Minions run back outside

Dialogue

Scarlet: Kevin, Kevin, I know you're out there. You think you've gotten away? Well, what do we have here? [holds up Bob and Stuart, with their mouths taped up and hands tied behind their backs] Kevin: Bob? Stuart?! Scarlet: Oh, my goodness! Which one shall I kill first? Little Bob? Stuart? Bob?! Stuart?! Hmm?! I will do it, Kevin, if you are not back here by dawn! [angrily kicks the camera] The Queen: Oh my! Kevin: Oh no!

Dialogue

BELLO. [All flee] HUH? LE BUDDIES?

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Kevin: Bob! Shoota hatta dona. Bob: Si la.

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Freeze ray!