Home Improvement

Jill: [about the dishwasher] You will not screw it up like you did the blender. End of discussion. Tim: What's wrong with the blender? It's the only blender on the block that can puree a brick.

Home Improvement (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Jill: Tim, do you ever listen to me? It was the last thing that I said in bed to you last night. Tim: No, I believe, if you recall, the last thing you said to me in bed last night was "no!" Jill: You're thinking of tonight.

Home Improvement (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Tim: In the shop, tape hangs on a hook, because it has a hole in it. Jill: So does your head, it's not hanging on a hook.

Home Improvement (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

[to Tim, after finding the missing wrench in the dryer] Do you want this on regular cycle or fluff?

Home Improvement (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

(Finds Tim pretending to ride the lawnmower like a motorcycle) So, what? Did you join Hells Gardeners?

Home Improvement (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

[after opening a bag of chips and spilling them everywhere] There's a warning label right here. You shouldn't open these in broad daylight, in Detroit. It could cause an explosion!

Home Improvement (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0